Bridge Over Troubled Water
by jhm64892
Summary: Set in between The Phenomenon and The Transfer. After Karen is involved in a car accident it is Derek that nurses her back to health and help her achieve her broadway dream
1. The Hit

_**A/N – Okay so this is my second fan-fiction and it begins in between "The Phenomenon" and "The Transfer". It is a definite Cartwills fanfic and I'm sorry to leave this first chapter on a bit of a cliff-hanger.**_

She needed to tell him; it was an absolute necessity that Karen tell Derek the one thing that could wreck their friendship: She loved him. Maybe it WAS the two Rum & Cokes that she had just finished, maybe it was even the romantic movie marathon that she and Ana had completed that day that had gotten into her head but if there was one thing that Karen felt she needed to do it was to look into Derek's sparkling Emerald eyes and say those words, those three little words that had so much power and so she left the money for her last drink on the counter and she ran out onto the street and dialled Derek's number. It went straight to voicemail.

'Damn it! Why does that always happen at the worst of times?' she thought to herself angrily before she spoke "Hi Derek, it's me, Karen, I just wanted to see if you were free to meet up but obviously your busy so call me when you're able to, okay, see you!"

'There that didn't sound too desperate did it?' she thought to herself as she stepped out onto the crossing at about 7pm at night. It seemed a perfectly safe to cross but little did Karen Cartwright, the shy soon to be Broadway star, know her life was about to change. What changed it? That was the exact moment when, just as she was half-way across the road, she saw the lights of a speeding car, she thought she'd have been able to get out of the way but at the speed of what seemed like a bullet, the car hit her before it was able to stop.

At that self-same moment in time Derek was having dinner with his good friend and colleague, Julia Houston, when he suddenly felt a chill; he shook it off but the sudden paleness to his face that came with it didn't go unnoticed.

"Are you alright, Derek? You just went awfully pale," Julia told him, the concern obvious in her voice.

"Yeah, do you mind if I just go and check my phone? I've had it turned off and I was expecting a call from Jerry Rand over Hit List," his voice shook as he said the sentence, something it never did, EVER! Although Julia didn't believe him, she gestured as if to say yes. He got up from the table and walked towards the bar, where he took his phone out of his pocket, proceeded to turn it on and dial for his voicemail.

"You have one message," he was told 'Yes, can you tell me what the bloody message is?" he thought to himself before playing Karen's message which somehow seemed to soothe the nerves he felt.

On impulse he dialled Karen's number and reached her voicemail, "Hey Karen, it's Derek. I'd love to meet up, just tell me when and where, darling," he said using his signature nickname for any woman. Little did he know; this was just the calm before the storm.

Only two minutes later Derek received a phone call from Ana, one of the principal actresses in Hit List and Karen's best friend and roommate "Ana, what a surprise, I wasn't expecting a call from you," he said, a breezy tone to his voice.

Ana took a second before she told her director the bad news that she'd only heard not one minute ago about his leading lady. "Derek, I… I don't quite know how to tell you this," she said as tears suddenly sprang to her eyes before she started blubbering in something that was unrecognizable to Derek.

"Calm down, Ana what is it?" he asked, hoping and praying that Karen was okay.

"I just got a phone call from the police; Karen was hit by a car!" Ana told him between sobs, her voice shaking with incredulity as she said the words.

The shock hit him like a bullet to the chest, "Is… is she alive?" he needed to know. Although he and Karen weren't exactly on the best of terms, he still loved her. No, he was still in love with her.

"She's alive, but barely, they're taking her to the medical centre at NYU," she told him. He had to see her, even if it meant he was going to have to say goodbye to those chocolate brown eyes that just made him melt every time he looked into them.

He said goodbye to Ana, promising to meet her at the hospital, and returned to his table to tell Julia the bad news.

"Derek, are you alright? You look as white as a sheet!" his friend told him, she was still concerned from earlier but now that concern had doubled itself. The Derek Wills she knew did NOT go pale after a phone call from one of his cast members.

"Karen's been hit by a car!" he said quite clearly on the brink of tears as relayed the news to the woman who had become one of his best friends over the past few months.

Julia called for a waiter and asked for the bill, before the two left the restaurant and hailed a cab. Once they were in the cab Derek lost control completely and began to cry uncontrollably. Julia had no idea what to do until they got to New York University's medical centre where the press were already stood, gasping for some news about Broadway's newest star's condition. Julia and Derek walked past and into the hospital where they were lead to a waiting room where they sat for at least an hour and a half.


	2. The Waking

_**A/N – Okay so this is chapter two, it's a fair bit longer than the first one but I still love it. I did cry a bit when I wrote down that Kyle had died but felt it needed to be in there. Before anyone asks, this version of Derek is based on the one we see in the show but also a person I know and would class as my muse, unfortunately I'm not so sure he thinks of me in the same light, so there, that's my inspiration with this chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Smash or any of its characters.**_

"So don't you bring me down today," The final notes of Karen's rendition of Beautiful made Derek wake up from the dream he'd had of Karen's very first audition for Bombshell, it had been the performance that made him fall for her, 'I suppose you could call it love at first song,' he mused to himself. He hadn't realised his love for the gorgeous brunette until he was with Ivy and anyway he'd been such a prat back then but he'd tried to change for Karen she deserved someone better than him and after the whole Dev thing as well, she deserved someone better.

Derek hadn't even realised that he'd fallen asleep until Ana reminded him, "Have a nice sleep there, Derek?" she asked jokingly, but how on earth she could joke at such a time was beyond the both of them.

"Not really," he said as he rubbed his eyes just before a doctor walked into the room, she was the type of girl Derek would have dated before he realized that he'd fallen for Karen, this doctor was a leggy blonde with obvious curves, not the obvious type to choose the medical profession.

"Ana Vargas, Derek Wills and Julia Houston, I presume?" she asked in a southern drawl, at the sound of her name Julia suddenly awoke.

"Miss Cartwright has listed the three of you as her emergency contacts, so I can legally disclose information on her condition," she continued.

"How is she?" Derek was desperate to know. If Karen had died he didn't know what he would do, in the space of just one night he'd realised that he couldn't live without her.

"She has three fractured ribs, a collapsed lung, a broken leg, a broken arm and a concussion, we've put her in the ICU for now and she should wake up in the next few hours. We'll probably move her when we can guarantee that she's stable enough but we believe that should be at some point tomorrow,"

"Oh thank god!" exclaimed Ana as relief began to register on her face. Karen's parents would be able to hear good news. They'd all decided to avoid making that phone call until they were certain on Karen's condition.

"When can we see her?" Derek asked trying to cover up the emotion in his voice with a little cough, he wasn't about to let this stranger see that he had feelings for Karen.

"I can take you guys to her room now if you'd like although it is my recommendation that only two visitors be in the room at any one time," the doctor told them, although to all three of them the recommendation sounded more like an order.

They followed the doctor until they reached the room where Karen lay sleeping 'It can't be her; she looks so weak,' Derek thought to himself as he saw the woman he adored, covered in bandages and hooked up to about five machines.

Julia told Derek and Ana that she'd make all of the necessary phone calls: Karen's parents; Scott; Jimmy; Jerry; Ivy and maybe Tom although how he'd deal with Karen's condition after the whole fiasco with Kyle she didn't know. Ivy was a bit of a sore point but Karen and Ivy had started to get along and if Ivy found out via one of Michael Wiedel's columns she wouldn't be happy. Jimmy was another issue, although Karen had ended things with the composer and actor it seemed only right that he learn about the accident.

As Julia began dialling the number of Roger Cartwright, which Ana had willingly provided, Ana's phone rang and although she didn't recognise the number she picked up anyway, "Hello Ana Vargas speaking," she said clearly.

"Miss Vargas, I'm Officer Taylor of the New York City Police Department, we spoke last night about your friend Karen Cartwright? I have some news on her case, are you available to talk right now?" whatever this news was it didn't sound good, no matter what it was, a phone call at 7.30am in the morning never meant good news.

"Yes, I am," she told the officer.

"Where are you right now?" he asked.

"Umm… the intensive care unit at NYU Medical Centre, why?" the confusion, obvious in her voice.

"I think that it's best that I give this news to you in person, I can be there in about five minutes," he said trying not to confuse the young woman even further.

"O-okay," she hung up at the same time as Julia finished delivering the news to Karen's parents.

"Well that was weird," Ana said before continuing "That was the officer who's been assigned to Karen's case, he said he had something to tell us but that he didn't want to say whatever it was over the phone," she said, still a bit confused as she looked over to Karen's room where Derek was sat in a chair by the side of her bed.

"What do you think it could be?" Julia asked, concerned.

"Personally, I have this feeling that it's about Jimmy," Ana replied in a hushed tone, "I think maybe we should phone Jerry and no-one else, he should at least deal with the press for us," Julia nodded in agreement before dialling Jerry's number.

Five minutes later and Julia had finished talking to Jerry, she wasn't pleased with his reaction, he was a Grade A arsehole and by god did she know it. Officer Taylor arrived at that same moment. He had sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

"Miss Vargas, I'm so sorry for the situation you've been placed in, do Miss Cartwright's parents know about the accident?" he asked, an element of shy concern in his voice, as he held out his hand which Ana shook.

"We've not long informed them. Officer Taylor, this is Julia Houston, she's a friend and colleague of mine and Karen's, I'm sure anything you have to say to me you can say in front of Julia as well," Ana did not want to go it alone with this stranger after the night of hell they'd all just had.

"Of course," he extended his hand to Julia who shook it firmly. "We were able to find the car that hit Miss Cartwright via its license plate. It would appear that its driver was arrested for drunk driving shortly after the incident, his name is James Collins," Julia and Ana looked at each other in shock.

"Oh my god!" they exclaimed in perfect unison.

"Are you familiar with that name?" Officer Taylor asked, the file for James Collins only had drug charges on it and those had been dropped. These women looked too clean to become involved with that sort of thing.

"Jimmy… I mean James, if this is the same one that we know, is Karen's ex-boyfriend; they were together for a while after a mutual friend, Kyle Bishop, died. That was until he started using cocaine again and Karen ended the relationship after he hit her one night and he didn't take it too well," Julia told the officer.

"Are you saying that if this is the same man, then it could have been a pre-meditated attack?" the officer asked he wanted to know more about the man they had in custody.

"I don't know… Jimmy's temperamental when he can't or doesn't get what he wants but I don't think he's capable of murder or attempted murder," Ana said, her voice wavering with uncertainty.

"One last thing," the officer said as he pulled a mug shot out of his pocket, "Is this Jimmy?" he showed the image to the women as shock began to register on their faces.

"Yes," they said in unison.

"Thank you, of course I'll have to get proper statements from both of you so if you could come to the precinct after you've finished here, that'd be great," he told them politely.

"Of course," Julia told him; after he'd left the two women began discussing the incident.

"Should we tell Derek?" Ana asked the concern in her voice more obvious than ever. Derek put up a tough front but how he would handle this sort of new was beyond Ana's comprehension.

"I'll tell him, why don't you go home and try and get some rest, I'll call you if anything happens," she replied as she noticed Ana had yawned several time during the discussion with Officer Taylor and the bags under her eyes wasn't the prettiest of sights.

"Are you sure?" Ana asked, knowing that Julia needed rest as well but the Broadway veteran just nodded silently.

As Ana left Julia walked into Karen's room and sat in a seat beside Derek.

"What did the officer have to say?" Derek asked, looking to someone other than Karen for the first time since he'd entered the room.

Julia explained exactly what Officer Taylor had said all of which made Derek's blood boil, "That slimy bastard! How bloody dare he?" he shouted before Julia quickly quietened him.

The pair sat in complete silence for a couple of hours, although to Derek it felt like years.

"Derek?" Karen croaked as she woke up.

"I'm here love," he replied looking into her chocolate brown eyes, they were making him melt on the spot "How are you? Actually you must be feeling like crap, don't answer that, it's a stupid question to ask," since when was Derek Wills nervous? 'Get it together man,' he thought to himself.

"Where exactly am i?" she said as she looked around the unfamiliar room.

"You're in the hospital love," he said as calmly as possible but the sound of her silky tones was causing elements of joy to seep through into his normally rough voice.

"Wh-what happened?" she asked, the confusion she felt more than obvious, she had a slightly pained expression on her face as the combination of anaesthetic and morphine began to wear off.

Derek ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to think of a way of gently telling her the truth, the only way he could think of telling her was to be blunt and to the point. "You were hit by a car last night," he said looking at her as though she were a porcelain doll, he'd explain to her about Jimmy's role in the events later when she seemed as though she could take it.

"That explains the stabbing pain in my side," she said attempting a joke although she sounded so weak that it just raised Derek's concern level by about fifty per cent.

"I'll go and get one of the nurses and tell them you're awake shall I?" Julia piped up before stepping out so that Derek and Karen could have a private moment alone.


	3. The Proposition

_**A/N – This chapter started off as being a filler and a little bit of fluff but the more I wrote the more I felt that it needed something, it's a short chapter and because I'm sick and have a day off school there should be another written and uploaded by the end of today. Before I begin the chapter I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed, followed and favourite it means an awful lot to a girl like me living in New Zealand where a fair few people haven't even heard of Smash or understand my obsession with it. So thank you and enjoy **_

Karen had fallen asleep after the nurse had given her a dose of morphine and Derek was sat in a chair beside her bed watching the beauty before him sleep. 'How am I going to tell her that Jimmy was behind the wheel of that car? When do I tell her, soon might be a good idea,' he thought to himself as Karen slept as peacefully as a woman in hospital can possibly do. 'If I don't tell her and she hears it from some paparazzo she might just hate me forever,' it sounded like a selfish thought because she may also hate Julia and Ana for knowing and not telling her either but he was in love with this sweet innocent girl and he really didn't care about anyone else except for her.

At that moment Julia walked into the room with something that sort of resembled food but didn't look all that appetising "How's she doing?" was all Julia could say to her friend and colleague. His feelings for Karen had clicked in Julia's mind when she saw him crying in the cab on the way to the hospital the previous night but she didn't quite know how to broach the subject with him yet.

"She's stable, when do her parents get in?" he asked wondering how much time he had left and how Elizabeth and Roger Cartwright would deal with their daughter's accident.

"Their flight arrives at JFK in about half an hour, Ana said she'd go and pick them up," Julia said feeling a little bit guilty at leaving Ana to deal with Karen's parents. When she'd spoke with them on the phone Elizabeth had gone into hysterics and Roger was fully and properly silent doe the entire phone conversation. It wasn't going to be the best environment for Ana who had already put herself in a state over Karen's condition, claiming it was her fault for some reason or another.

Karen was beginning to wake up at that point and Derek sat bolt upright "Hey sleepyhead, how are you?" he asked drowsily, he'd only had about two hours of sleep since hearing of the accident and it was beginning to show.

"I'm fine, except from the obvious," she replied with that trademark Karen Cartwright smile that sent Derek's heart a flutter.

"Look there's something I need to tell you and I don't quite know how to say it…" he was going to have to tell her at some point and this seemed a better time than any.

'Since when does Derek Wills not know how to say something?' Karen wondered for a few seconds before he continued.

"Jimmy was behind the wheel of the car that hit you, apparently he was drunk or high and driving and the police didn't get their hands on him until he was arrested for drunk-driving about an hour after the accident and no-one knew when or how to tell you," he said a panicked look on his face as Karen's face began to pale with the mixture of shock and anger. Everyone was silent until about 45 minutes later when Karen's parents walked in.

"Oh my poor darling girl," Mrs Cartwright cried as she and her husband walked through the door. Roger Cartwright was unusually quiet for someone who had something to say about basically everything.

"I think now is as good a time as any for me to leave," Derek said before standing up. He could feel how awkward this interaction could be and he'd never known what to do in awkward situations, it was part of the reason why he and Tom Levitt were acquaintances and not friends as they used to be.

"No, Derek stay!" Karen exclaimed a little louder than she'd wanted to and then in a hushed tone she followed it up with "I think my Dad has something to say and I want you to hear it as well,"

"Okay," he told her, if she wanted him to stay it seemed like it must be a good sign.

"Look I'll cut to the chase Karen," Roger told his daughter, Derek had an idea as to where this conversation could lead and he didn't like it. Elizabeth and Karen both looked at Roger pleading with their eyes. "When you first moved to New York we agreed so long as you kept yourself safe and look at you now! Here in this hospital, a complete mess," he looked to his daughter a mixture of kindness and concern in his eyes.

"So Dad what you're expecting me to do is move back to small town Iowa, settle down with some man, have kids and sit at home and cook all day and maybe perform in a pantomime every once in a while. You know what? I'm not going to! I'm not going to live the traditional life like all of my friends back in Iowa and you're certainly not going to dictate what I do with my life! I'm twenty-five-years-old Dad! I'm not a kid anymore I'm going to make the decisions I want to make and god damn it I'm picking New York and Broadway!" she thought to herself before silently adding in her mind the words 'and Derek,'

"And where do you plan on living whilst you recover? There are far, far too many flights of stairs before you get to yours and Ana's apartment for you to climb up in this condition! Think realistically for once in your life instead of being this constant dreamer!" her father shouted not realising the Derek had the solution for the problem.

"She could stay in the guest room at my place if she wants," Derek heard himself saying, okay it wasn't the most romantic thing he could have said but he continued "It's perfectly accessible for Karen in her current state and I can be there for as much time as necessary, plus your daughter is the most talented, beautiful woman I've ever met and to see her gift go wasted would be a travesty in itself," he looked from Karen to her parents.

At that point before she could say anything, Karen had two thoughts going through her mind: 1. 'He thinks I'm beautiful' and 2. 'Does this mean that Derek loves me?' this she thought before asking the usually closed-off director "Y-you're sure about this Derek?" her heart was leaping up into her throat she was quite ready and willing to say yes unequivocally but the look in her Dad's eyes showed the worry he felt.

"Of course I'm sure unless you're parents don't approve," he looked at both Roger and Elizabeth Cartwright with one raised eyebrow. It was just then that Elizabeth clicked on the situation between her daughter and the director: They were both in love with each other but neither one felt that they could admit it to the other just yet.

"Well I can't say I disapprove, it is Karen's choice after all," Karen thanked the lord above for sending her mother's good opinion to her at this time. If Elizabeth Cartwright approved there was no way in heaven or hell that Roger would disapprove of that same thing.

"You're sure that you can handle her?" Roger asked, concerned for his little girl.

"Yes," Derek replied, after this he was going to have to talk to Jerry Rand about postponing Hit List for about two months and if he refused then Derek had more than a few words to say on the matter.


	4. The Kiss

_**A/N – This is the fourth chapter and to be honest it is a little bit of fluff but then again it is kind of poignant to the whole Cartwills story which makes me wonder why the writers of Smash haven't come to their senses and played a bit more on the whole Cartwills thing, hopefully by the season finale Karen will come to her senses and just go out with him.**_

"The Twentieth Century Fox… Mambo," At the sound of the final notes of the song Derek woke up. He smiled as he thought back on Karen's version of the song, it was the song that made him realise that she was his Marilyn and that he was falling in love with the beautiful, intelligent, talented young woman that lay in the bed that he was sat beside.

It was a weird thing to ponder upon, the Derek Wills, world famous womanizer, falling in love. It had been a week since the accident and Derek and Karen had barely had a spare moment together without anyone else there. There was so much he wanted to tell her but they never had the time to talk properly. Her parents had been in and out as had Ana and Julia. The police officer who'd spoken to Ana and Julia the day after the accident had been in twice to discuss whether Karen thought Jimmy capable of pre-meditated murder. Seeing as she'd only found out about Jimmy's past a little over a month before the accident she'd told Officer Taylor that even though she'd had a relationship with the man she felt she didn't know him as well as she thought and so she couldn't truthfully answer the question.

Then there was Tom's visit, as unexpected as it was it was still difficult for everyone. As much as Tom tried to put a brave face on it all Tom was still in mourning for Kyle and the entire time he was there was spent crying on Julia's shoulder. Seeing Karen, his former leading lady, lying in a hospital bed having survived an accident that was too similar to the one that had killed Kyle was too difficult for Tom to handle. The whole scene had made Derek want to try and salvage what friendship he had left over with Tom but the timing wasn't the best.

After that Bobby, Jessica, Sue and Dennis had visited which had been an awful lot of fun and a barrelful of laughs, they were the only people willing to treat Karen as they had before the accident, as their friend who they could gossip with, they talked about the projects they were working on, Bobby was going to audition for the role of Marius in the Broadway revival in Les Miserables and wanted Karen's opinion. Jessica and Sue were moving to Hit List whilst it was moving to Broadway, in fact Dennis was the only one of the group that Karen had become friends with during Bombshell's workshop that was staying with Bombshell.

Ivy visited with Sam on the day of Karen's move from the hospital to Derek's apartment, almost a week after the accident, and that was what changed everything for Karen and Derek.

Ivy had found it difficult to even contemplate what kind of condition Karen might be found in. she kept thinking of their performance of That's Life on Bombshell's opening night and of the time they'd drunkenly sang with a street performer in Times Square after Ivy had been fired from Heaven on Earth's ensemble and it had made Ivy realise that Karen may have been the nicest person she'd ever known.

Ivy and Sam walked in calmly and when she saw Karen's state Ivy burst into tears. All Ivy could say was "You don't deserve to be here Karen, it's not right, I should be there instead, I was such a bitch to you, I'm so, so, so sorry!"

Both Derek, who'd been sat at Karen's bedside the entire time and Sam were shocked but nowhere near as much as Ivy was. Karen on the other hand took it completely in her stride and calmly told Ivy "No-one _deserves _to be in my place, least of all you Ivy. You of all people should know that everything is supposed to happen for a reason, even the really horrible things and anyway shouldn't we just put all that stuff that happened in the past behind us?" Ivy nodded. Derek smiled, only Karen Cartwright could be this nice to the woman who slept with her then-fiancé the night before her first preview in a lead role, "Come here Ivy," Karen continued. Ivy did as she was told and found herself wrapped in a friendly hug.

Ivy and Sam, who was now replacing Jimmy in Hit List in light of recent events, left for their respective rehearsals leaving Karen and Derek alone.

"That was a lovely thing you did there love," Derek told Karen who was still appearing to be a bit frail but he really didn't care as long as she was alive.

"I suppose you're going to follow her now," Karen said an element of bitterness in her voice, as frail as she appeared to be she still had that little bit of attitude and light that Derek loved so much.

"No why would you think that?" he wondered aloud, the confusion obvious in his voice.

"Well aren't you in love with her?" she asked, secretly hoping that he would say no to her question.

"How could I be? She's no you darling," he said hopefully making Karen smile up at him.

"Derek Wills, do you know how long I've waited for you to say that to me?" she asked as she looked into his emerald eyes realising for the first time that they had little flecks of hazel in them.

"A fair while I'm guessing," he chuckled as he cupped her head in his hands before lifting it so he could press his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes closed as she kissed him back.

Just then Julia walked in and coughed slightly breaking up the kiss and making Karen blush slightly.

"Your timing couldn't be worse Julia," Derek told his friend whilst laughing to himself.

"Well then it's a good thing that I'm not a dancer then isn't it," all three laughed at that one before she continued "I figured this would happen at some point or another but can I just remind you that Karen is supposed to be moving into your apartment temporarily, or not-so temporarily as the case may be, today and another think Derek, if you break Karen's heart Ana and I _will _break you!"

This time it was Derek's turn to blush as Karen went into a fit of hysterical laughter. "I promise you I won't, but she might just break mine," he replied still blushing.

"Like I'd ever try doing such a thing," Karen told him lovingly.

"Good! I'll leave you two in peace for a while then shall I?" Julia said before spinning on her heel and leaving.


	5. The Nightmare

_**A/N – Thanks everyone for all of the reviews, favourites and follows. This chapter is extremely anti-Jimmy but I think it's a necessity so that I can sort of show how protective Derek is of Karen. I have to admit that even as I was writing it I was screaming at the page but then again I'm a very attached reader/writer. **_

That night Derek cooked for this new girlfriend; a proper roast beef for someone who he felt was his first real girlfriend in almost ten years. Derek had never been good at the whole relationship thing, every girl he'd ever actually loved had cheated on him with someone he knew but with Karen he felt like it was going to be different.

Karen was sat asleep on the couch, the very same couch that had been the scene of the couch casting. She kept tossing and turning and since Derek had never actually watched her sleep before he thought it was normal. The thing was that before she and Jimmy had gone out Karen had been a very peaceful sleeper and Jimmy had made her on edge and guarded around men because of how possessive he was and it had affected her sleeping.

"Jimmy! Stop it! Stop it! Get away from me!" she screamed making Derek rush over to her, a pained look on his face.

"Karen, Karen it's just a dream, it's just a dream," he told her soothingly as he cradled he while she woke up, tears in her eyes she looked to Derek who just continued to hold her. "What's wrong?" he asked; nothing but an expression of kindness in his eyes. Karen just cried even more as she buried her head against his chest her tears wetting his shirt.

"Derek it was horrible," she said in between tears, this was going to be something she'd have to tell him about sometime and Derek was going to continue to wonder so she began to tell him.

_Flashback, a week before the accident_

_It was completely quiet except from the sound of Karen's extra rehearsals of I'm Not Sorry, Ana had already gone to the bar down the road from Manhattan Theatre Workshop with the rest of the cast and crew so Karen was completely alone, Jimmy walked in, his eyes bloodshot, he'd obviously been snorting cocaine again._

"_Jimmy what are you doing here?" Karen asked him innocently, she remembered from their time together that when Jimmy was on Coke he was unreasonable and easily angered which was why she'd broken up with him, it tended to cause him to hit her if they got into an argument, the bruise on the side of her face from their fight the previous week was only just starting to yellow._

"_You know exactly why I'm here," he said viciously as he grabbed her wrist, she knew there would be a bruise there in the morning; he continued to drag her and push her against the wall of the conveniently dark room._

"_Jimmy, what are you doing?" she asked frightened by what she thought may happen to her._

"_Don't be so naïve, you know what I'm doing," he told her as he pushed himself against her whilst a look of horror spread across Karen's face, her worst nightmare was coming true._

"_Jimmy! Stop it! Stop it!" she screamed as he continued, it was pointless but she tried again "Get off me! Get away from me!" she yelled, feeling her voice begin to break, as she tried to push him off of her._

_When he was finished and he'd walked off, Karen leant against the wall, sank to the floor and burst into tears._

"I won't let him anywhere near you again as long as I live," Derek promised, an emerald fire burning in his eyes. How on earth could Jimmy do this to someone as sweet, innocent and lovely as Karen? Derek remembered that Karen had told him, during previews for Bombshell in Boston, that the theatre was her sacred place and now Jimmy had ruined it for her. Derek was completely unable to imagine how Karen felt about that.

"You promise?" she heard herself say, the tears still in her chocolate brown eyes as she looked up at his emerald green ones.

"I promise," he told her, he knew from then on he would do everything in his power to make sure that nothing bad would ever happen to Karen again.

They heard the beeping of the oven and Derek stood up to get the beef out of it so that he could carve it up and serve dinner.

The conversation at dinner was light but the earlier revelation was all but forgotten and when Karen got up to go to bed it was Derek that she leant on as she hobbled to her bedroom. When they were halfway there she told him "I don't want to be alone tonight, can I sleep in your bed?" she asked him making his heart melt a little as he looked into her chocolate brown eyes. There was no way he was going to refuse her.

"Yes," he replied a loving look in his eyes as he scooped her up in his arms bridal style.

"Just sleep, mind you," she told him as if warning him but he'd already figured that out and it was at that moment that Derek Wills was a womanizer with a commitment phobia no more.

"I know," he told her the same loving look in his eyes as he bent his head to kiss her as she cupped his unshaven face with her hands.


	6. The Ultimatum

_**A/N – Okay so I just realised that in the space of today I got past the 1,000 viewers mark and as I wrote this I was crying tears of joy to Candle in the Wind by Elton John (I wonder why they never used that in the show). Thank you to everyone who viewed followed and favourite it really means a lot to me and to those who reviewed I thank you; your lovely comments inspire me to write even more.**_

The first thing Derek did when he woke up was to look over at Karen and thank god that she was alive and that she loved and trusted him after the whole Jimmy incident, he wasn't a religious man but in those few moments he still thanked the man. After the previous night's nightmare before dinner Karen had been peaceful, sleeping next to Derek in his bed.

Derek was pondering on the beauty and peacefulness of the stunning young woman that lay beside him when his phone rang, he checked the caller ID, realised it was the insufferable Jerry Rand and picked up mustering all of the strength he had to do so.

"What is it that you could possibly want or need, although I'm sure it's more of a want, at…" he looked at the clock beside the bed, "6am in the morning?" he asked the irritation in his voice obvious.

"I just wanted to know when Karen would be back for rehearsals," he said with a fake innocence that bordered on arrogance.

"The poor girl has three fractured ribs, a broken leg, a broken arm, several deep cuts and grazes, not to mention the fact that when she was brought in after just after the accident she had a collapsed lung and a concussion and that _was _just over a week ago. To be completely honest," he looked to Karen who was still sleeping peacefully, "I don't think she'll be back for at least six weeks," he told the producer who was famous for making the lives of directors and actors a living hell when he didn't get what he wanted.

"I need her back in two. We want another Tony for our collections don't we?" Jerry asked, he clearly thought that the mere mention of awards would have Derek getting Karen on the stage in the space of two hours. That version of Derek, however, was slowly being replaced by a kinder version of Derek and this new Derek wasn't having a bar of any of Jerry's crap.

"Well, you're just going to have to postpone until after this year's Tonys won't you Jerry?" Derek replied snidely.

"Tell Karen two weeks or she's fired," Jerry yelled.

"If you really want your god damn Tony, Jerry you'll postpone or find a new director and choreographer as well as a new Amanda whilst you guys are training a new Jesse, if you are going to be this unreasonable then you can consider me gone!" This time Derek was yelling and it wasn't until Karen woke up that he realised how loud he'd been.

Bleary eyed she mouthed 'Who is it?' to which Derek mouthed back 'Jerry,' her sigh signified her understanding as she tried to get comfortable in the bed again.

"Ah, I see, the director's fallen for the leading lady has he?" Jerry teased.

"Goodbye Jerry!" Derek said as he tiredly hung up the phone before angrily slamming the phone on the bedside table. God he hated working with Jerry, he had to be the most unreasonable man Derek had ever met.

Before Karen could even ask the question Derek answered it "He wants you back in rehearsal in two weeks,"

'I could do that!" Karen said confidently.

"The singing part, yes, but the dancing in full costume as well as the casts on your arm and leg, no," he quickly gave her a peck on the cheek before saying "Love what I'm about to tell you I say as your director and not as your boyfriend; you can't do it! I know you, you'll go full on, hell for leather before you're ready and then you'll find yourself in the hospital again,"

"Fine then," she said regretfully "Who's to say that Hit List will even make it to Broadway anyway? Doesn't Jerry have to get a release form, signed by Jimmy, to be able to use the music and lyrics? You know like Eileen had to get you to sign over the choreography for Bombshell?" she had a point and by god did Derek know it.

Derek kissed Karen, grabbing her face and pressing his lips to hers, "What was that for?" she asked seductively.

"Darling you just gave me an idea for our bargaining chip," he replied.

A few hours later and plans were in place. Karen and Derek were going to visit Jimmy, with the release form that Derek's attorneys had drawn up stating that Jimmy's songs could only be used with the permission of Karen and Derek. If Jimmy signed them, which he should have, with the right amount of cash, then the ball was officially in their court.

Derek called Julia, who officially owned Kyle's work, explaining Jerry's ultimatum and their plan, Julia approved of the plan completely.

On their way to Sing Sing Prison, where Jimmy was being held until a court date was set, Karen leant on Derek, her head on his shoulder, and suddenly began to cry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked and as he lifted her chin so that he could wipe the running mascara from her cheeks using a handkerchief he happened to have in his pocket.

"It's stupid, really, it's nothing," she said. Derek knew for a fact that the truth was quite to the contrary.

"Love it can't be stupid if you're crying about it, now are you going to tell me what it is?" he said as she looked into his eyes. 'How can I look into those damn Emerald eyes of his and not tell him?' she thought to herself.

"Oh Derek, I don't know whether I can do this! See Jimmy I mean and what if he attempts something or what if he refuses to sign the papers?" she cried before sinking her head into her hands.

"Hey," he said as he stroked her back "You've got me, remember? I won't let him put a finger anywhere near you and if he doesn't sign the forms then I have a few things I can tell that lovely police officer about him that I'm sure the prosecutors would love to hear," he said before lifting her head to kiss her.

"You promise?" she asked a slight hint of desperation in her eyes.

"I promise that as long as I'm alive he won't be able to touch a single hair on your head," he said as the car pulled up outside the prison.


	7. The Plan in Place

_**A/N - Okay so after I uploaded Chapter 6 I felt fine and then today I had to go to the doctors to see what was up with me because I'm going dinner every time I stand up; this is my excuse for this chapter not being up to my normal standards but I really wanted to get this one up today. It does feel a little bit rougher because instead of writing it on paper and then editing it as I type it was just typed up because looking at lined paper is making me dizzy at the moment. This is another one that's very anti-Jimmy/Kimmy which shouldn't be too surprising by now because as I'm sure you've already discovered I am a very Pro-Cartwills.**_

_**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Smash otherwise it would be renewed for at least another 6 seasons and I do not own Truly, Madly, Deeply sung originally by the amazing Savage Garden**_

Karen's nerves were far from gone and showing fully and completely as she leant on Derek for support whilst they waited to see Jimmy. Her hands were shaking when she saw Jimmy walk in. They sat down opposite him, the tiny degree of separation that they had was provided by a veil of clear glass and a table.

"So I guess you were playing me the whole time, Karen," Jimmy said angrily, already she was scared as she clung to Derek for support.

"Okay I'm going to start this with a little request, Jimmy," Derek said before continuing "You are going to apologise to Karen for everything, not forgetting that I know an awful lot about what you did to her, although I'm sure there are a few others,"

Jimmy looked at his former director with a look of annoyance, "Why should I? It was my right!" he exclaimed.

"Your right? It was your right to beat me with your fists every time you got mad at me? It was your right to rape me? It was your right to hit me with your freaking car?" Karen exclaimed for the first time since she and Derek had entered the prison. After that she burst into tears, burying her head in Derek's shoulder, it was the first time she'd properly admitted the extent of what Jimmy had done to her to anyone and she certainly hadn't admitted it to herself until that very moment.

"Yes it was my right!" he told her viciously, the same look in his eyes as he'd had that night in the theatre. Neither Jimmy nor Karen realised that Derek was recording this whole conversation very discreetly, a tape recorder in his coat pocket.

"That's enough, Jimmy!" Derek told him, Jimmy sat silently, a little uncomfortable. At this point Derek turned off the tape recorder before speaking again "Now Jimmy I have the release forms necessary for Hit List to go ahead we just need for you to sign them and then we'll be on our way,"

"And what if I refuse to sign?" Jimmy replied tauntingly, he wanted to know how far he could take this and how much money he could get out of the very wealthy director.

"Well then I have some very interesting information recorded that I can quite easily take to the police unless you'll just sign where the post-it notes have been placed," Derek replied, although blackmail wasn't something he'd normally do this was one instance where he was willing. He pushed the papers through the gap so that Jimmy could sign the papers.

Jimmy flicked through the papers for a few minutes, making sure that he at least skim read each page then something caught him off guard "Hang on! This says that if I sign this then you and Karen own the rights; that's my life's work you bastard!" he was clearly annoyed and his eyes were beginning to bulge as they tended to do when he started to reach his limits as Karen knew quite well hence the reason she was burying her face further into Derek's shoulder.

"I figure it's the least you could do as payback for all of the hurt you've caused Karen, and remember with the evidence I have in my pocket you could be in here for a long, long, long time. What does the combination of rape, assault and attempted murder get these days?" Derek said provokingly.

"You wouldn't!" Jimmy snidely replied.

"Oh I would!" Derek told him, he held all power and by god did he know it. Jimmy signed the papers at that point and slid it under the gap. Thinking that all was done Derek began to let his guard down and before he could even think Jimmy had punched his hand through the thin pane of glass and had Derek by the collar.

"Jimmy! Stop it!" Karen yelled at him "Leave him alone for god's sake!" she yelled noticing that Derek had a cut on his wrist from where a piece of glass had hit him, it oozed blood as the prison guards got Jimmy to let go of Derek. One of the other guards moved them away so that he could take a look at the cut.

Papers in his good hand, Derek allowed the guard to look at the cut and was told that he should probably see a doctor on the matter, fairly soon, because although the glass was preventing serious bleeding, if left for too long there could be serious nerve damage, which Karen didn't like the sound of. She knew that as a choreographer Derek needed full use of his hands. The pair left the prison and got in a taxi and went to the emergency room.

When they got to the emergency room it was fairly empty which was unusual for New York. "Miss Cartwright I wasn't expecting you to be here until next week," said one of the doctors "Is everything alright?" she asked suspecting more than he was about to get.

"Oh no, Doctor… I'm sorry can you remind me again I'm terrible with names," she requested, it wasn't that she was bad with names, she could actually match a name to a face and have it memorised within the space of a few seconds of knowing the person but for the length of her association with the doctor she had been drugged up with Morphine and other pain medications.

"It's Doctor Robinson," she replied "What can I do for you then?"

"This is my boyfriend Derek," she said getting a chill as she said it, "He got some glass stuck in his wrist and we were wondering if someone could take a look at it," her voice was shaking as she said it for some reason, even she didn't know why.

"Of course, come with me sir," she beckoned leading the pair to a bed and bringing the curtain around so that there was some privacy.

Doctor Robinson took a look at Derek's cut and grabbed a needle. "Now sir when was the last time you had a tetanus shot?" she asked

"Christ I don't know, I don't think I've seen a doctor in about five years at least," he said shuddering; the idea of hospitals and doctors still freaked him out after the car accident that had killed his youngest sister, Anne.

_Flashback, 1991_

'_London at night is gorgeous if you avoid looking at all the drunkards that stagger down Kings Cross' Derek thought to himself as he sat in the back seat of the car with his two younger sisters, Grace and Anne. He looked to them as the two girls begged their father to turn off the Mozart off and put on some Bryan Adams, Charles Wills turned to remind the two girls of the merits of classical music as they began to drive through the traffic lights when another car coming from the right crashed into the right side of the car causing Derek's head to knock into the window of the car. The force from it caused him to pass out._

_The next thing he remembered were the lights as he was wheeled on a stretcher into the Emergency Room. He blinked twice, allowing his eyes to adjust "Wh-what happened?" he questioned the blonde nurse who was attempting to help push the stretcher._

"_You were in a car accident Mr Wills," she replied the concern for her patient showing in her voice._

"_Where are my family?" he asked a panicked look in his eyes._

"_Your mother is fine, she just has a few cuts and scrapes, your sister Grace has a broken arm and that's all we know," she lied, she knew of Anne's condition but didn't want to shock her patient._

_He looked into her eyes and realised that this nurse knew of Anne's condition but that she wasn't willing to tell him and that could mean only one thing._

"_M-my youngest sister? Is she d-dead?" he asked, determined not to cry but the tears still came stinging his eyes as he tried to force them back._

_She looked at him wishing that she didn't have to tell him the truth but in order to be able to allow the doctor to stitch up the cut on his forehead she had to tell him, "I'm afraid she is, we did everything we could sir," she said as she left, allowing a far too perky looking doctor to deal with Derek. The tears continued to fall._

"Right I'll have to check your medical records what was your name sir?" Doctor Robinson asked as Derek stopped thinking of his sister's death.

He squeezed Karen's hand as he told the doctor his full name, Karen looked at him complete and total adoration in her eyes. "What's up? You looked like you nearly blacked out just then," she asked

"My sister, Anne," he said disappointment in his eyes as he remembered everything about her: her laugh, her smile, her voice, the way she cared for everyone, it made him realise that everything he loved about Karen he'd already seen in Anne.

"Tell me about her," Karen said, she wanted to know everything she didn't already know about Derek, she already knew that he was an amazing director and a wonderful person, no matter what everyone else thought of him, but she wanted to know about his family, his life in England before he lived in New York and she also wanted to meet his parents at some point, she knew they were divorced and that Derek had inherited his workaholic tendencies from his dad but that was about all she knew.

The doctor had come back and was explaining to Derek that not only would he need his arm numbing but he also needed the tetanus shot and the thought of needles made him think of that brutal December night, "Sing to me," he told Karen getting a feeling that it may well be the only thing that may calm him down.

"Okay how about Truly Madly Deeply?" she asked fondly.

"Okay," he replied the love he felt for her in his eyes, front and central for everyone to see and for the first time he didn't care what people thought.

"_I'll be your dream_

_I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy_

_I'll be your hope I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

_I'll love you more with every breath_

_Truly, madly, deeply do_

_I will be strong I will be faithful_

_'cause I'm counting on_

_A new beginning_

_A reason for living_

_A deeper meaning, yeah_

_I want to stand with you on a mountain_

_I want to bathe with you in the sea_

_I want to lay like this forever_

_Until the sky falls down on me_

_And when the stars are shining_

_Brightly in the velvet sky,_

_I'll make a wish send it to heaven_

_Then make you want to cry_

_The tears of joy for all the_

_Pleasure and the certainty_

_That we're surrounded by the_

_Comfort and protection of_

_The highest powers_

_In lonely hours_

_The tears devour you_

_Oh can you see it baby?_

_You don't have to close your eyes_

_'Cause it's standing right before you_

_All that you need will surely come_

_I'll be your dream I'll be your wish_

_I'll be your fantasy_

_I'll be your hope I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

_I'll love you more with every breath_

_Truly, madly, deeply do_

_I want to stand with you on a mountain_

_I want to bathe with you in the sea_

_I want to live like this forever_

_Until the sky falls down on me"_

Derek looked at his stunning girlfriend affectionately, careful to avoid seeing the doctor's stitching, "I love you," he told her.

For a moment she was stunned, Derek had never publically said anything like that to anyone as far as she knew but even so she replied "I love you too, Derek,"


	8. The Memories Not Discussed

_**A/N – Okay so for the next few chapters I'm just going to type it, edit on the computer and then upload it; I'll eventually make myself a hard copy once I stop going dizzy when I look at lined paper. This chapter is really just a little bit of fluff rather than the dramatic stuff it's been for the past few chapters, I think I'm kind of a drama slut when I write to be completely honest with you guys.**_

Karen woke up next to Derek for the second morning in a row and this time he was still asleep. He looked completely gorgeous, his hair ruffled and his face completely peaceful, something that she hadn't seen from his face in a long while. She sat up, kissed his cheek and attempted to stand, not being able to use crutches was annoying and she was determined to not be reliant on a wheelchair so for the past two days Derek had been her crutch. This morning though she wanted to surprise him with fresh coffee so she got up and hopped towards the kitchen.

_Crash!_

Derek was awake immediately and noticing that Karen wasn't sleeping peacefully beside him he got up and ran towards the lounge and kitchen, thinking that she's gone in there. He found her on the floor by the couch her face contorted in an attempt to hide the pain she felt coming from her good arm. "Damn and I thought I could make you a cup of coffee without waking you up," she said jokingly, he chuckled as he knelt down beside her and lifted her arm.

The first aid training course he'd taken a few years back had come in handy as it meant that he could ascertain any breaks. Thankfully it was just a sprain and the scene sort of reminded Karen of Willoughby and Marianne's meeting in Sense and Sensibility and she hoped and prayed that she and Derek were going to work out differently, although he genuinely did remind her of a Darcy or Colonel Brandon type.

He proceeded to lift her up like a groom with his new bride and he placed her down on the couch. He then walked towards the kitchen, grabbed a pan and put oil in it. "What are you doing, babe?" she asked.

"I figured seeing as you injured yourself trying to get to the kitchen to make me a cup of coffee the least I could do is make you a proper English breakfast like the proper English gentleman that I am," he replied.

Karen just laughed, she knew he could cook really, amazingly well but the thought of Derek being a gentleman did make her laugh. "Whatever you say,"

After the delicious breakfast (Bacon, fried bread, scrambled eggs, Pork sausages and grilled tomatoes) the pair decided that they'd talk about everything. Karen told him about growing up in a small town in Iowa and Derek talked about growing up in London and his mum, his sisters, his older brother but he still carefully avoided the subject of his father. Derek still couldn't forgive Charles for so many things. He blamed his father for his sister's death, for the fight with Tom, for making him feel so god damn inferior every single time they spoke or saw each other. He wanted to open up to Karen about his father at some point but he worried that if he did too soon that he'd lose her.

_Flashback, 1998_

_Derek was stood in his London apartment, shocked at the person who was standing in front of him. It was Charles Wills, his father. Charles had turned up out of the blue and was demanding that Derek bad mouth the musical that he'd been working on with his best friend, Tom Levitt, to investors so that Charles' play would be able to reach the West End. What he wanted was preposterous and yet at the same time he felt so damn inferior that if he didn't do as requested of him he would crumble into a million pieces._

Karen had held details back as well, like how her biological mother had left when she was about three-years-old and that the woman she called her mother, Elizabeth, was actually her step-mother. She also didn't want to bring up the relationships that she'd had before the ones that Derek knew about like Jack, who'd left her stranded without any money in the middle of Los Angeles during her Spring Break, or Robert, who had kept his marriage to her step-mother's old friend hidden from her until they'd been found by Elizabeth at a play held in the local theatre. There was a reason she was so damn careful with men.

_Flashback, 2002_

"_Karen? Robert?" Elizabeth called out as she spotted the two of them sharing a kiss. Karen and Robert were stood in the line for concessions when she spotted the woman she considered to be her mother. On instinct she ran and hid making the sandy haired man look around. He'd been spotted and he turned bright red. Elizabeth managed to grab a hold of her daughter by the collar and drag her over to where Robert stood._

"_Does she know about your wife?" Elizabeth said the anger in her voice being made quite clear._

"_Y-your wife?" Karen was shocked to say the least. "You have a wife and you didn't tell me? Who the hell is she? Do I know her?" she yelled at the top of her lungs._

"_Karen, my marriage isn't ideal to say the least and anyway I love you!" he told her._

"_Not ideal, your wife is one of my oldest and dearest friends, she's devoted to you damn it and this is how you treat her? By going off with my teenage daughter?" Karen began to cry as her mother dragged her away from an explanation and the man that she thought she loved. For a seventeen-year-old girl she was extremely sure of her heart and to whom it belonged._


	9. The Rehearsal

_**A/N – The anti-nausea/dizziness tablets my doctor prescribed me are amazing. Originally I wasn't going to take them but this morning I got desperate and talk one and I have to say miracle drugs so hopefully this chapter is a little bit better than the last few.**_

About six weeks later Karen was back to rehearsals for Hit List. Derek had told her that it would be better if she took another week off but Karen was determined to get back to work.

When she stepped into rehearsals on her first day back, Karen was greeted with a hug from every member of the cast and crew that knew her. It made her realise how much she'd missed the tight knit family, which came ready-made with any musical, when she'd been off work. In fact, the only person she didn't know was a tall red-headed girl who looked to be in her mid-thirties. She stood on the side-lines observing all of the interactions and spent a good deal of her time staring at the director. Karen went to talk with Ana, Jessica and Sue, the latter pair having joined the ensemble whilst Karen was recovering.

"Who's the new girl?" Karen asked her three friends, suspicion showing in her eyes. She didn't like the way this woman was staring, constantly, at her boyfriend.

"That's Daisy, Derek hired her the day of the accident to be my understudy," Ana told her "She seems nice but she tends to be a bit of a loner," she continued.

Jessica then added "and she seems to be staring at Derek an awful lot now that the two of you are back," if Jessica had noticed then it was obvious to everyone. Karen needed to talk to this woman.

"Why don't we go over and say hi?" Karen said, for once in her time in a leading role Karen was going to use it to make someone understand where they stood. She didn't want to ostracize the poor girl she just wanted the woman to know to stay away from Derek unless it was strictly professional. She began walking over to the red-head followed by Ana, Sue and Jessica.

"Hi, I'm Karen Cartwright," Karen said kindly, today she wasn't someone to be trifled with.

"Daisy, I was wondering when I'd get to meet our Amanda," she replied matching Karen's tone.

"Well here I am! You're Ana's understudy right?" she said a degree of firmness beginning to show in her voice.

"Yeah, I was a dance teacher part time before this though," she said faking a shyness but Karen had been in New York long enough and had been through enough to be able to spot a fake from a mile away.

"Well, if you ever need any help or want to talk, my friends, here, and I are available," Karen told her, earning herself a look of complete distrust from the slightly older woman.

'Like I'd ever need the help of some green slut from Iowa! Derek is clearly sleeping with her! It's so obvious! His eyes follow her wherever she goes. She's going to wish she'd never said anything when I steal her friend's role' Daisy thought to herself as the four younger women left and returned to their original spot.

As the rehearsal went on it became extremely noticeable that the strain had taken its toll on the young leading lady. She missed her cue for Heart Shaped Wreckage, she forgot the lyrics to Rewrite This Story and after a disastrous rendition of Broadway Here I Come, Derek had to take her to one side.

"Are you sure you're okay love?" he asked the concern in his voice obvious.

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied, it was clear that she was lying but Derek didn't want an argument.

"Okay," he told her but as she returned to her space for Original. He'd promised himself that for the next few rehearsals he was going to take it easy on everyone. At this point Daisy was still staring at him and he was beginning to feel extremely uncomfortable. He'd have to talk to her at some point. He knew she was blackmailing him with the video but surely she wasn't going to be unreasonable. He'd noticed Karen's cold interaction with her. He'd have to explain the situation to Karen that evening.

"Okay everyone let's run through Original," he shouted.

Karen was coping perfectly well until the second chorus when Karen got the feeling as though the room was spinning; everyone was panic-stricken as Sam, who thankfully wasn't even a foot away from her, caught her in his arms. Derek rushed forward towards his girlfriend, pushing past several people. Sam placed his young co-star on the floor making sure that her head didn't hit the cold hard floor.

"Okay everyone quit crowding, Ana get some cushions from backstage," Derek yelled making everyone scatter out. Daisy continued to stare at Derek as he cared for his leading lady.

"She clearly can't handle the job," Daisy said vindictively everyone turned towards her. Derek continued to look down at his girlfriend.

"She's just come back from six weeks off after being hit by a car you idiot, I'm sure that if you were put in the same position you wouldn't even be attempting to be here today you drama queen," Ana told her "And quit staring at Derek, it's really freaking creepy," she continued, her voice getting louder and louder, Derek was going to thank her for that later.

"Hey," Karen said as she began to come round

"Oh thank god!" Derek exclaimed relief and happiness spreading themselves across his face. "Rehearsal's over guys and you've got tomorrow off as well," he told everyone as he helped Karen up off of the floor.

As everyone filed out Derek and Karen made their way to some of the seats normally set aside for audience members.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't coping?" he asked her looking into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Because I didn't want to worry you," she answered as she looked at his green ones.

"Love, we're in this together, you have to tell me when you're not coping," he told her before kissing her forehead.

"Okay, next time I'll tell you," she said as she stroked his jawline


	10. The Surprise Visit

_**A/N – Wow! Just wow! I discovered about ten minutes before I started writing this that I had gotten past 2,500 viewers of this story. Can I just say that was my target for next week?! I am kind of nervous as to how everyone will react to this next chapter because … well you'll find out when you read it.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Smash otherwise it would still be continuing past a second season, unless another station picks it up in which case I thank you!**_

There was a knock at the door to Derek's apartment, Derek was still asleep so Karen swung her legs and stood up. Tiptoeing, carefully attempting not to wake her boyfriend, she quickly went to the door unlocked it and opened it. She was shocked to say the least to see one of her best friends from Iowa, Amy, at the door of Derek's apartment. She had tears in her eyes and she had hold of the hand of a little girl's hand.

"Amy, what are you doing here?" Karen asked surprised at her friend's arrival in such a state.

"Harry cheated on me and for some reason you were the only person I felt I could turn to," she said in between sobs as Karen led her over to the couch. Karen couldn't quite believe the blow she'd been dealt, Amy's marriage to Harry had been one of the strongest she'd ever known, the two had been together since high school but before that they'd had been friends since before Karen could remember.

The little girl that Amy had come with had crawled up on her mother's knee, hoping to stop the tears that were flowing. It wasn't until Karen saw this that it clicked as to who the little girl was, her goddaughter Lily had grown up an awful lot since she'd last seen her. Karen stood up and walked towards the kitchen "Do you want a cup of tea?" she asked, remembering that a cup of tea was the only thing that had ever calmed Amy down.

"Yeah, that'd be nice," she said before proceeding to weep again. Karen returned with two cups of tea and a cup of milk for her goddaughter.

Karen heard her boyfriend's footsteps as he came down the stairs. At that point Amy suddenly wiped away her tears just before Derek walked into the lounge. Karen stood up and walked towards Derek and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I'm guessing that you're Karen's new boyfriend and director, Derek?" Amy said suddenly stopping her crying fit.

"That's right, now let me get this right, you're Amy and this must be your daughter Lily," he replied remembering the time he'd met Karen's Iowan friends from the first preview in Boston.

"Well, you've got an extremely good memory, I'll give you that," she said laughing.

Lily ran towards her godmother who instinctively lifted her up. "Have you guys had breakfast yet?" he asked the three girls who shook their heads. "I'll get right on that then shall I?" He said as he turned towards the kitchen.

"Well, he's lovely Karen, you officially have my stamp of approval," Amy told her friend who'd sat on the couch again, holding Lily in her arms. Karen laughed as her friend continued "I'll admit he's an awful lot nicer than the last Brit you dated," Karen giggled remembering Amy's instant hatred of Dev and she had to admit after previews she really did wish she'd listened to her best friend's opinion of him.

Once breakfast was made the four all sat around the dinner table and ate. "Where are you staying Amy?" Derek asked, having just heard the entire story of how Harry had cheated on her with the secretary at his office and how she'd grabbed Lily and left, stopping off at Karen's parents place wondering where Karen was staying.

"Umm I don't quite know, my plan was to stay in a hotel for a few days until I found somewhere a bit more permanent," she said, fighting back tears.

"Well, the guest room upstairs is free if you wanted to stay there until you get back up on your feet," he told her kindly.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, looked at her friend and mouthed 'keep him!'

'I will,' Karen mouthed back. "Now we're all sorted I think we should show Amy and Lily New York, at its best, what do you guys say?" she said aloud.

Lily's face lit up at the idea, her singing dreams were just beginning at the age of five similar to her godmother. "Please, mummy, please?" she said with pleading eyes.

"So long as it doesn't mess up what Aunt Karen and Derek were planning to do today," she said.

"I've cancelled rehearsals for the next week anyway so we don't have anything on today," he told her.

"Okay, well now that's sorted what does Lily want to do, shall we go to the Central Park Zoo or the Empire State Building?" Karen asked.

"I want to see Broadway!" Lily told her godmother; obviously Amy had been training her daughter in such terms for a while. It made Karen think to when she was a child of Lily's ages, the thing that had tied Amy to Karen, other than the fact that Elizabeth was Amy's godmother, was the fact that both Karen and Amy had big dreams of Broadway. Karen wanted to perform and Amy wanted to write. The difference was that Amy ended up staying in Iowa after marrying Harry and Karen had gone to New York.

"Okay, Broadway it is! I think if we ask our friend Eileen, we may be able to get you into the Lily Hayes theatre so we can see you sing on the stage," Karen told the little blonde girl with clearly big dreams.

"Or I could see you sing?" Lily requested

"I tell you what! If I sing, then you sing and then we can sing together! Does that sound like a good idea?" Karen asked and watched as her goddaughter's eyes grew to the size of saucers.

A few hours later and Karen had grabbed Ana before she, Derek, Lily and Amy went down to the Lily Hayes theatre. Eileen had been kind enough to allow the group to go to the Lily Hayes Theatre and had even told Ivy to meet them there.

When they reached the theatre and all of the introductions had been made Karen and Ivy took to the stage and placed Derek in a chair and performed their version of Smash from Bombshell. Amy had thought the song's significance rather hilarious .Then after Derek had left the stage, followed shortly by Karen; Ivy went on to sing Who Says by Selena Gomez, which Lily loved. Then it was Karen's solo: Bridge over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel

_When you're weary, feelin' small_

_When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all._

_I'm on your side, Oh, when times get rough_

_And friends just can't be found._

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down._

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down._

_When you're down and out, when you're on the street_

_When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you._

_I'll take your part, Oh when darkness comes_

_And pain is all around_

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down._

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down._

_Sail on children, sail on by_

_Your time has come to shine, all their dreams are on their way_

_See how they shine, Oh when you need a friend_

_I'm sailing right behind_

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will ease your mind_

_Like a bridge over troubled wates,_

_I will ease your mind._

_I'll ease your mind._

After that Karen brought Lily up onto the stage and they began to sing a version of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful. The song brought a smile to Derek's eyes and Amy told him "We used to sing this one all the time when we were teenagers," a few tears in her eyes.

"It's the song that she sung for her Bombshell audition, it's the song that made me fall in love with her," he said sentimentally as he looked back on that first audition and he beamed at his amazing girlfriend.

After that Derek took everyone out for dinner at one of his favourite little diners, just down the road from the theatre. When they arrived they discovered that Tom, Julia and Eileen were there and the group got larger.

At the end of the dinner Julia had given Amy a job as her personal assistant and as part of the conditions Amy was allowed to bring Lily to work, which meant that Lily would be able to see her godmother work on an almost daily basis.

_**A/N – Just another little note from me to explain this one, I felt like some of Karen's life from Iowa should come into New York and Amy seemed like the perfect character to use for that purpose. The other thing I wanted to explain was Bridge over Troubled Water, I suppose you guys know I used it the song in this chapter because it's what this fanfic is named after but it's also a song that my grandparents call their song so that's why the story was given the name it has, just in case anyone was wondering.**_


	11. The Confessions

_**A/N – Before I give you this chapter I have to thank Mizuki Yin who has given me such lovely reviews and well wishes whilst I've been sick it's nice to know that I have fans who appreciate my work because certain family members of mine, aka my younger sister, aren't the most supportive of it. I'm going to attempt a full day of school tomorrow so I probably won't write as much unless I end up going home sick.**_

After a week of not rehearsing, Karen and Derek went back to the studio where Hit List rehearsals were being held. When they arrived they had a pretty rude awakening when they were greeted, rather rudely, by their producer, the intolerable Jerry Rand, and the most hated columnist on Broadway, Michael Riedel.

"Karen good to see you back and in good health," Michael said.

"It's nice to see you too," she replied politely.

"Tell me is it true that the former lead in Hit List, and your ex-boyfriend, was behind the wheel of the car that hit you?" Michael asked, Karen looked like a deer in headlights and she looked at Derek for some strength.

'How had he heard about that bit? Oh that's right Jerry, the loose-lipped devil,' Karen thought before giving the most cryptic answer she knew of "I can neither confirm nor deny such a claim," she told him practising the bit of democracy she wasn't willing to have her personal life dragged out into the public just yet and Mr Riedel was extremely good at twisting anything somebody said to mean the exact opposite to what had actually been said.

"And I see that you arrived with Mr Derek Wills, are you guys an item?" he asked, he was fishing for gossip now and it didn't suit a man the man at all.

"My answer to that is, of course, no comment. Now I really must go and get ready for rehearsal," she said before walking inside the building with Derek at her side and Jerry following closely behind.

"Karen the least you could have done is answer Michael's questions!" Jerry yelled at her but she wasn't going to have any of it, not today.

"All he wants to know is about my private life, now if he'd have asked me about Hit List, then of course I would have answered his questions as honestly as possible without making it or you look bad but of course he didn't so now he has no scoop," she told him curtly before walking off and into her dressing room where she changed into her dance gear.

Meanwhile Derek and Jerry argued over the fiasco. "She was ambushed! She actually did really well for someone who's been through as much as she has, Jerry cut her some slack!" Derek told the producer.

"She's our only selling point; she and Ana are the only leading actors from the original cast that were at The Fringe, that's our selling point!" Jerry told the director.

"Our selling point is the music and an edgy and new musical; it's going to be the new RENT or something like it! You have to cut Karen some slack on the interview front. She doesn't want her personal life dragged out in front of everyone and quite frankly I respect her for that," Derek told his producer before walking into the rehearsal space.

Seeing her godmother Lily ran down the steps from the lighting booth where she had been with Blake. "Aunt Karen! Aunt Karen! Aunt Karen!" the little girl screamed as she ran to meet Karen. At the same point in time Ana, Jessica and Sue walked to meet their friend.

Karen picked up her goddaughter on instinct "Hello sweetheart, where's mummy?" she asked

"Mummy went to coffee, I really like it here I want to stay every day!" Lily told her.

"But you'll have to start school soon," Karen said which got Lily to poke her tongue out.

Lily requested that she be put down so that she could run over to Derek shouting "Uncle Derek! Uncle Derek!" who then picked up the little girl and whirled her around before placing her on his shoulders.

It was a side of Derek that none of his cast had seen before, excepting Karen. Over the previous week, since Amy and Lily had been staying with them, Karen had noticed how attentive Derek had been towards the little girl and it made her think that he'd make a good father one day. Then she quickly reminded herself that she and Derek had only been in a relationship for a little under two months and that she was thinking too far ahead.

Amy eventually walked into the studio with four coffees: a Caramel latte for Julia who was editing Hit List's script once again, a black coffee with two sugars for Derek, a flat white with a shot of Vanilla for Karen and a flat white for herself. She then proceeded to tell Derek to put Lily down so that she could sit down and he could do his job, earning a massive laugh from the cast and crew including Derek himself.

"Okay everybody, I know we've all had another week off so warm up and then Ana will go through Reach for me," Derek said in a moderate tone.

They ran through the performance with no major issues except from the adjustment to the heights that Ana was flying at, which most people understood but her understudy, Daisy, just scoffed at it. The idea that someone could laugh at such a thing really grated on Karen.

"Right, Daisy if you think it's so easy to sing whilst you're twenty feet in the air above a massive crowd then why don't you give it a try?" Derek scolded.

"Gladly," she told him before getting into the silks. That didn't work out too well for her because Daisy ended up screaming to be put down because she'd failed to notify he crew involved of her fear of heights. Derek now knew that if she couldn't handle the Diva's biggest number then he'd have to fire her.

Next Karen and Ana ran through I'm Not Sorry, with Daisy, again, laughing at the performance. This made Karen rush over to the chorus girl and remind her of her place. "You ungrateful little cow! You have the opportunity to work on something truly amazing and you insist on laughing at Ana's performances! So this is how it WILL work! You stop with the laughter at Ana's performances, you do your little chorus girl stroke understudy thing and you don't get to stare at my boyfriend!" she yelled.

"He'll just leave you soon anyway, you'll stop putting out and he'll leave it's what Derek always does!" Daisy told her.

"You know what? I really don't care what you've got to say on my personal life because it's mine! I'm from Iowa; first thing my dad taught me was how to fight dirty!" Karen roared.

"You wanna fight? I'll give you a fight!" was all Daisy could say before she pulled Karen's hair, thinking it would be a typical girl fight but then Karen kneed Daisy in the stomach before Derek could pull the pair apart.

"That's enough!" he bellowed as the tore them away from each other leaving Daisy with a clump of Karen's hair in her hand. "Daisy, I'm sorry, but you're fired! Karen I'll talk to you about this later," he said gruffly.

"Yeah! Of course you'd refuse to fire your girlfriend! You know what Derek? You can forget about that little deal we had, I'm so going to the press with that sex tape and I'll make sure you're never able to work in this business again!" Daisy yelled viciously as she left the room, making sure she was heard as she did so.

Karen plopped herself down on one of the seats and buried her head in her hands. She felt completely ashamed. She'd brought personal matters into her professional life, something she'd sworn she'd never do again after the issues she'd had during Bombshell's previews in Boston.

Ana got all of the cast and crew to leave and take a break allowing Sue, Jessica, Julia and Amy to stay as well as Lily. Julia sat quietly for a while and Amy shuffled next to her friend. Derek took the seat that remained next to Karen and pulled her into a protective hug as she began to cry. "Hey, it's alright, it happens to the best of us," he told her comfortingly.

"You mean to say that you've let your personal life cross over into your professional one?" Karen asked with a look of incredulity.

"Lord yes! Have I ever told you why Tom and I don't really speak anymore?"

"No,"

"Well when we first started out in show business it was on the West End in London and to begin with we were really great mates. Back in 1998, my dad, who I hadn't spoken to for about a year since he and my mum had divorced, showed up at my apartment randomly and asked me to bad mouth the musical that Tom and I'd been working on together. At the time I was exceedingly insecure and my dad had always, always made me feel inferior so to try and please my dad I did what he wanted and Tom and I never really spoke again until Bombshell," he told the group that had assembled around them and noticed that the admittance to what he was no longer too proud to call a mistake had cheered Karen up a bit.

"Have you spoken to your dad since?" Karen asked innocently.

"No, I don't think I ever forgave him for forcing me into that corner and making me feel like I had to destroy one of the best and only friendships I've ever had," he said regretfully as he looked back on the memory.

"Have you ever tried to apologize to Tom?" this time it was Julia that asked the question. She'd always wondered why Tom and Derek had disagreed on every single little thing and now she had the answer.

"No, I suppose I was too proud," he said. At that point Karen looked up at him and wondered how much she genuinely knew about this man with the green eyes.

"So what's the story with Daisy then?" Ana asked "Bearing in mind that Julia and I have promised that if you break Karen's heart we will break you and I'm sure Amy, Jessica and Sue would love in on that one,"

"A few years back Daisy and I worked on a production together and I slept with her, I'm not proud of it I might add. At the time I didn't realise that she'd taped it and then just before Karen's accident she came up to me in a bar and threatened to release the tape to the press if I didn't let her be the understudy for one of the major roles in Hit List. Now that I've fired her I suppose I'll have to deal with it now," he told them, still holding onto Karen.

"We'll deal with it," Karen told him looking up and into his emerald eyes.

"What? You still want to be with me through this? He asked, shocked.

"Of course I do you idiot! I love you Derek and if that means dealing with the press over someone from your past then that's just fine with me. We can deal with it together." She said smiling up at him.

"I love you to darling," he said as he got lost in her eyes as she pressed her lips to his earning them a chorus of 'awws' from Ana, Jessica, Sue, Amy and Julia.


	12. The Discovery

_**A/N – Okay so this illness is really starting to get on my nerves, my brain tricked me into thinking I'd be able to go back to school today but that wasn't to be. I won't disgust you guys with the details but I will tell you that this time the anti-nausea tablets didn't work so you guys can figure the rest out. As I was writing this chapter I was listening to Katharine McPhee's debut album, I have to admit it is pretty damn amazing.**_

When Karen and Derek walked out of the apartment a week after Daisy's firing, they found themselves hounded by paparazzi. The two lovers had already discussed the plan of action for such an incident after seeing the reports on the theatre blogs that morning. The firm no comment answer was not what the troupe of reporters wanted and so when Derek and Karen got into a cab so that they could go to the Ambassador Theatre for the first day of tech, they were pursued by the reporters, who then proceeded to stand outside the theatre for the entire day.

When they entered the theatre they were greeted by their unbearable producer who then went on to yell at Derek over the whole scenario. Karen stood by watching the exchange and prayed to god that nothing major would come of it.

"This was terrible timing for such a scandal, Derek!" Jerry yelled

"Do you really think that I would've planned it this way? I fired the girl because she wasn't able to do the job she was being paid to do and in case you didn't know, she blackmailed me into giving her said role in the first place," Derek told the prat that he was forced to call a producer.

"Derek you keep doing this! What happened to keeping work and pleasure separate?" Jerry found himself asking.

That was when Karen found herself telling Jerry "You mean like you did? Eileen told me about your little affair with that blonde dancer! You can't exactly talk Jerry Rand and I swear to god if you continue to lecture Derek on the difference between a work life and a personal life then I'm out and then where will the show be? You still haven't trained my understudy so you can just quit it you little hypocrite!" she said before walking off leaving both men stunned.

"I think you have a choice here Jerry," was all Derek could say as his trademark smirk appeared across his face and with that he followed Karen into her dressing room.

Part of tech was discovering how long it would take everyone to change into their outfits so tech rehearsals always became dress rehearsals, as such. Karen spent the first wardrobe change flinging clothes off whilst shouting about Jerry and how much of a hypocrite. Derek found it rather entertaining catching the clothes as Karen yelled stopping every time she said the words 'bloody' or 'crap' the only curses that she would allow herself to say barring the ones that she knew in French, Spanish and Italian which Derek was able to translate into English and he noticed that they weren't too pretty.

After tech, Derek, Karen, Ana, Julia, Jessica and Sue decided to go out to the bar down the road from the theatre. Once again they found themselves surrounded by a swarm of paparazzi. This time, instead of asking questions about the sex tape scandal, they focused on Derek's relationship with Karen. At first they ignored the questions but then the questions became rather disgusting and rude so instead of ignoring them Karen did something drastic "For god's sake! Bugger off you leeches!" she yelled at the top of her lungs before quickly walking into the bar.

Once inside she ordered four tequila shots, a scotch and a glass of wine. Going to the table where her friends and boyfriend had sat down and handed everyone their respective drink. "Iowa's straight onto shots? The combination of paparazzi and Jerry must have been bad," was all Jessica could say as her friend downed the drink in one gulp and then shook her head.

"Jerry is a bit of a monster and the paparazzi are rather irritating," Derek admitted before downing his scotch. He was worried about the fact that Karen had immediately started drinking shots of Tequila. By the time they left the bar at 10pm Karen was completely and utterly inebriated and when they got to Derek's apartment she was singing Gwyneth Paltrow's Shake That Thing.

She grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom where she jumped back onto the bed pulling Derek on top of her; as much as he wanted to he couldn't take advantage of the situation. So as she started unbuttoning his shirt, "Karen, no, you're completely drunk," he told her.

"And you sir are bossy, but in the morning I'll be sober," she said giving him a seductive pout.

"With a massive big hangover, now I suggest both go to sleep, we have another tech rehearsal tomorrow morning," he told her using his director voice.

"Fine," she said like a little child.

When she woke up the next morning she had a massive headache and she began to wish that she hadn't drunk as many Tequila shots as she had the previous night. Then her phone rang, she looked at the caller ID and noticed that it was Amy's husband, Harry. She picked up.

"Where the hell is Amy?" he yelled

"Harry, quieten down, you're yelling and I have a hangover, I don't know where Amy is," she lied; she really didn't want to have this conversation with her best friend's soon-to-be ex.

"Karen I know that you know, you may be an actress but I know when you're lying," Harry told her.

"Look I have a rehearsal to get to so I'm going to have to go," she said before hanging up, putting the phone down and placing it on the bedside table.

Quietly she got out of bed and crept down the stairs and looked for some Aspirin when she couldn't find any she groaned, trudged upstairs and got back into bed, realising when she looked at the clock that it was actually 5am and she didn't need to be up for another hour and a half. She lay her head back down on the pillow, fell asleep and didn't wake up until Derek shook her awake.

"Why couldn't you just let me sleep?" she groaned, before covering her head with a pillow.

"Because we have tech today," he told her as he gave her two Aspirin and a glass of water.

She took the Aspirin and water, hoped that it would work, swung her legs over the side of the bed, got out of bed and got ready.

When she and Derek opened the door to the apartment as they left for the rehearsal she was surprised to see Harry stood at the door. "Where is she?" he yelled as Karen stood motionless in front of the door.

"Who is this guy Karen?" Derek whispered to her. She told him that it was Harry in reply, as this exchange occurred Amy ran down the stairs, with Lily trailing behind her.

"I'm going to be late, where are my… Harry?" she said as she realised who stood at the door. Lily stood behind her mother, a look of terror spread across her delicate facial features.

"You told me that you didn't know where she was!" Harry roared at Karen stepping forward as she began to step back.

"Yeah, well I, well I…" she said unable to finish her sentence as she received a slap clean across her face.

At this point Derek stepped in front of Karen and punched the offending man's jaw. "You walk into my home, demanding to know where your wife is, I get that, but you had no reason to slap my girlfriend, you son of a bitch!" he bellowed. A fight ensued with Harry punching Derek's jaw and then Derek stumbled back before punching the offender's jaw. After several more punches were thrown Karen and Amy tore the two men apart.

"Amy you're coming with me!" Harry yelled at his wife.

"No I'm not! I've had enough of you taking your temper out on Lily and I and I've had enough of your goddamn affairs!" she told him firmly.

"Okay well how about we let our daughter decide!" he said stupidly

"She's five Harry and from the looks of it scared to death of you now I suggest you leave before I call the police!" Karen said, incredulous to what she'd just discovered. She'd only seen the kind, gentle side of her friend's husband, never this violent monster. With that threat Harry left.

"Amy how about you and Karen take the day off I'll tell Julia that you've got the flu," Derek said.

"Okay, actually just explain the whole thing to Julia" she said as Karen went to the freezer for some ice which she then applied to Derek's now bleeding lip.

"Thank you," Karen whispered to her boyfriend as she cleaned the cut on his lip.

"What for?" he asked a little bit surprised by this statement.

"For being you," she said before pressing her lips to his.


	13. The Opening Night

_**A/N – Unless my parents suddenly decide that I don't have to go on holiday down to Tauranga (which with my current illness, doesn't seem like a good idea because a three to four hour drive is bad enough without adding in the fact that I'm currently ill) this will be my last post until Monday at the earliest so with that I give you guys chapter thirteen.**_

Pretty soon it was opening night for Hit List and the cast and crew's excitement was evident, Karen's in particular. Her parents were coming in from Iowa for the first time since the accident as were Marlena and Lisa along with their husbands and kids. Harry had left New York pretty soon after the scrap with Derek and Amy had found a divorce lawyer and had served him with divorce papers requesting that she get full custody of Lily.

Two days before opening night the final rehearsal was held and it ended with the cast and crew sat on the floor in the middle of the stage listening to speeches from what was left of the creative team, something that Karen was told was normal on Broadway. Julia spoke first saying "I know I'm only the dramaturg but I'm sure that Kyle would be extremely proud of you all and the work that everyone has put into it, in fact I'm sure he'd be pretty damn speechless right now because of being to immersed in this whole thing," before sitting down and allowing Derek to stand and speak.

"Okay so I have to admit that I am bloody proud of all of you especially our three leads: Karen, Ana and Sam, you guys brought these characters to life with very little time and Sam thanks for not having as big an ego as Jimmy had. As you may or may not know it was Karen that brought this musical to my attention after having heard Jimmy, who can't be here for obvious reasons, playing Broadway Here I Come in a bar one night and ever since then I wanted to work on the project and now you guys, all of you have brought it to life, so thanks, now go and have fun. Oh and by the way I do expect you all to be here by 5pm on opening night otherwise the Dark Lord really will come out and hangovers won't be an excuse," he said earning a few laughs.

By the time opening night did actually come round Karen was practically bouncing off the walls with a combination of nerves and hyperactivity. She practically ran into the lobby of the Ambassador Theatre, taking in a minute to take in the fact that everyone there was going to see her in this amazing musical. She walked into her dressing room to find a large velvet box on the table in front of the mirror with a note attached to it. She read the note to discover that it said **Figured that you'd want a little piece to wear at the after party – Derek. **She opened the box to discover a diamond encrusted love heart pendant necklace. She quickly got changed into her first costume and went to the wings where she found her friends all huddled in a circle and in the other wing she saw Derek stood by watching.

The entire performance went well until she saw one of two men that Karen never wanted to see in the audience. There sat the cheating prick known as Dev and when she ran off the stage after finishing the second act Derek went to find her. She sat huddled in a corner rocking to and fro against the wall. Derek sat down beside her, "What's up?" he asked anxiously, he hadn't seen her in such a state since the preview in Boston and that was when in it clicked. Dev had to be there, in the audience "Its Dev isn't it?" he said the line sounding more as a statement rather than a question. All she could do was nod as he enveloped her in a big hug. "No matter what happens don't doubt that you're a star, and this is the day where you get to see your dream come true, don't let that bastard ruin your night," he told her as he kissed her forehead.

"I love you Derek," she told him quietly.

"I love you too," he said allowing the sentiment to be felt and heard "Now go and get changed so you can win yourself a Tony," he said turning back into the dark lord again.

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and ran into her dressing room. Before she knew it she was taking a bow with the rest of the cast and Derek and Julia were being pushed out onto the stage, Julia represented both Jimmy and Kyle, so that they could take a bow. After that Karen returned to her dressing room and she changed into one of the most expensive dresses she'd ever worn: a black beaded Herve Leger bandage mini-dress with a V-neckline that played up her long legs as well as a pair of Ruby vintage drop earrings and a pair of black strappy 4 inch high heeled sandals. She then took Derek's necklace out of its box and was about to put it on when she heard "So you like my present then?"

She turned around to find Derek standing by the door wearing a plain black tuxedo "Yes," she said coyly.

He walked towards her "Turn around and I'll put it on you," he commanded and she did as she was told, pushing her hair aside as he draped it over her neck and did up the clasp "You look gorgeous," he told her when she turned back to face him.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said as she straightened his tie. They left the room and walked into the crowd of people.

"Hey Iowa!" shouted Jessica and Sue, the nickname had stopped being something that made fun out of her and had slowly become a term of endearment. Jessica was wearing a short baby pink dress and Sue was in a navy blue knee length dress. "Ready for your first big opening night party?"

"Of course although I'm sure that you girls plan on getting completely trashed," Karen responded although she loved a good party she wasn't as much of a hard partier as her friends.

"Well it is a party!" Jessica retorted as the group walked out of the backstage area and into the party. When they got to the lobby everyone was surprised to see both Tom and Ivy approaching them.

"Tom! Ivy!" Derek said slightly taken aback "What are you doing here?"

"Well we had to see, in full, what you guys left Bombshell for! I'll admit it's amazing and Karen you were great, I guess I'll have some competition for that Tony after all," Ivy said giving both Karen and Derek a hug.

"You really think I was that good?" Karen asked astounded.

"Of course you were darling, you were a star" Derek told her as he kissed her on the cheek making her giggle.

"I think we'll leave you and Tom alone to talk," Karen told her boyfriend as she ushered Ivy, Jessica and Sue over to the bar.

Seizing the opportunity Derek told Tom what he now felt he needed to say "Look Tom, there's something I need to say and I want you to listen to me. I'm sorry for what I did all those years ago, I was stupid and just trying to impress my dad which really didn't work out so well and the truth is I miss my best mate," Derek said apologetically.

"Can I ask what's brought this on?" Tom asked suspiciously.

Derek turned around to see that Julia and Ana had joined the group of women at the bar "Karen, she's made me see that I've been wrong about so many things and she's made me want to be a better man,"

"You really do love her don't you? Well I'll accept your apology, now what do you say we go over to the bar and grab a drink?" Tom said laughing.

Tom and Derek walked over to the bar, Derek slid to sit next to Karen.

"Ah Karen, the only woman who could possibly tame the wolf," Tom said.

"I'll guess it's all sorted between you two then?" Karen asked as she laughed "Because if it's not then Julia and I will send you over there to talk some more,"

Both men nodded leading the group crowded around the bar to yell "At last!" with Karen, Ivy and Julia the loudest.

At that point Karen's parents and Iowan friends joined the group. Karen introduced everyone and pretty soon discussions flowed that was until Dev decided to show his face.

"Karen can I talk to you?" Dev asked nervously, seeing as the last time he'd tried to talk to her with Derek around he'd gotten a hit to the jaw.

"Actually no you cannot talk to her you bastard, first you almost cheat on her with your secretary and then you screw another member of the cast of the musical she's working on, as far as I know there's nothing to talk about!" Derek told him firmly "I think you should leave before I punch you again!"

"So I guess the rumours are true, you have been screwing your director then? I should have known you little slut!" Dev yelled.

"Leave her alone!" Ivy retorted, "You really can't call her a slut you hypocritical son of a bitch! Now leave or I'm sure we can get security to deal with you!"

Dev continued to stand there, at that point Derek stood up and threw a punch at the other Brit, after he stumbled back Dev punched the director's lip, making it bleed but Derek didn't care as he threw another punch and then another for good measure before the other Brit punched Derek's jaw before he was able to give one final punch knocking Dev to the floor. Both Karen and Tom got off their seats and held Derek back as Roger Cartwright escorted Dev from the building.

"Are you okay?" Karen asked her boyfriend as she saw the bruise appearing on his jaw as well as the bleeding lip.

"Yeah," Derek replied.

"Babe, you're bleeding," she told him quietly before asking the barman for some ice. She dabbed it on his lip watching him wince as she did.

"I love you, I wasn't about to let that bastard harass you on your big night," he said as she stopped dabbing his lip and began burying her head in his shoulder.

"I love you too," she said affectionately


	14. The Meeting

_**A/N – Okay so my parents decided that I could stay at my grandparents instead of going for a three hour drive down to Tauranga so I am able to write chapter 14 for you guys. Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, followed and/or favourite it means a lot.**_

After Hit List's opening night Karen had offers coming out of her ears; she was being offered leading roles in films, TV shows, musicals and plays all of which she politely declined. She'd made the conscious decision to stick out her contract for Hit List until the very end even if it did mean co-operating with some of Jerry Rand's unreasonable rules and requirements. That meant a six month run, doing eight shows a week, leaving her with very little time for a personal life and yet she and Derek still managed to make it work.

It had been two weeks since the opening night of Hit List and the Dev incident, as it had been dubbed, when, at 5am, Derek received a phone call from his father. "Dad what could you possibly want?" Derek sighed in his sleep-deprived state as he got out of the bed he and Karen shared and began pacing across the floor.

"I'm coming to New York to see this new musical of yours," the elder of the two announced.

"You're coming to see Hit List? W-when?" Derek said worriedly.

"I fly into New York the day after tomorrow and I'm keen to meet this new girlfriend of yours. Don't deny it Derek, Grace had told me about her, Katherine or whatever her name is," Charles Wills told his son.

"Her name is Karen," Derek grunted, "What time do you fly in?" he sighed.

"2pm," Charles grunted.

"Are you bringing Tiffany with you?" Derek asked, unsure whether the woman he was forced to call a step-mother would be turning up with his father.

"Didn't you hear? She's divorcing me! Yeah turns out women value fidelity in a relationship," Charles said as if it was the least obvious thing in the universe.

'Thank god,' Derek thought to himself, he resented his father's third wife; the woman was younger than Karen and insisted on having Derek call her mum.

"No, really? I never realised!" he replied sarcastically.

"Don't take that tone with me son, now I've got to go, I'll see you at La Guardia on Tuesday,"

"Fine, see you," Derek said feeling completely deflated. It seemed pointless to get back into bed so he decided to quietly creep down the stairs, into the lounge and sit reading newspapers on he sofa until Karen came downstairs about an hour and a half later.

"Hey what's up?" she said softly as she sat down beside her boyfriend.

"Am I really that easy to read?" he asked.

"Babe, you're sat on the couch reading yesterday's paper at 6.30am and I'm guessing you've been doing that for a while, now what's going on?" she asked again.

"My dad's coming to see Hit List and knowing him it's just another excuse to make me feel inferior," he said as Karen put her arms around his broad shoulders.

"You never know, maybe he's changed, maybe he wants to apologize for all of his mistakes," she said optimistically.

"You don't know my dad, he doesn't change at all. He has this pattern: he turns up, he makes you feel overly inferior so that you'll do whatever in the world he wants and then he up and leaves again," Derek said a disappointed tone to his voice.

Karen knew exactly how he felt, her biological mother had turned up several times and requested masses of money from her father and had used Karen in the process.

"Like I said maybe he's changed," she said her voice still full of hope.

"How do you do that?" he asked, a slight smirk beginning to appear on his face.

"Do what?" she asked slightly taken aback.

"Always see the good in people," he replied "Because it's one of the many things I love about you," he said making his girlfriend giggle like a school girl.

They had rehearsal the next day and Derek worked everyone ten times harder than normal. He would yell over the smallest of mistakes and by the time Karen had missed one step when they ran through I'm Not Sorry everyone was at their wit's end. "Miss Cartwright, you missed that step again! There is a turn there before you start the pas de bourre. Let's run from the top of the number again!" he shouted.

"No!" Karen exclaimed suddenly "Derek I know you want tomorrow night's performance to be our best yet but it's going to be our worst if we miss our cues because you've overworked us!" she continued as Derek stood stationary, totally astounded. In all of the time that they had known each other Karen had never once answered back to him. "To be honest you're almost at burnout point; look at yourself, you've got bags under your eyes and you're legs are practically giving way as you stand there because you were up all night making sure that the sets looked perfect. Take a break it's one show in front of an audience just like it's been for every other night, the only difference is that your dad will be there," At that revelation everyone gasped. It had been a surprise that Karen and Derek had gotten together but to hear that the Dark Lord of theatre had father issues was like a blow to the head with a mallet. It took a few seconds for Karen to realise what she had just announced to the whole cast and crew, "Crap! I didn't mean to blurt that last bit out," she said apologetically.

"No, it's fine love," he said, his personal life had been the topic of discussion with every member of the press and public since he'd won his first Olivier award. The rest of it, the bits that weren't sordid sex scandals, may as well be known to the cast and crew, many of whom he'd begun to count as a second family, "Everyone take the rest of the day off, it's 2 O'clock now that means that you have three and a half hours before you have to be backstage in full costume," he said as everyone filed off the stage. He grabbed Karen's arm, spun her into him, bent his head down to hers and softly pressed his lips to her, "Thank you," he told her.

She replied with another kiss.

The next day at 2pmCharles Wills arrived at La Guardia airport and was met by Derek and Karen. He took Karen's hand and kissed it making her blush. "So, Miss Cartwright, it's lovely to meet you I believe you're destined for a Tony," he said in a flattering manner.

"I don't know about that, it's shocking to me that I even have the lead in a musical, let alone thinking about the idea of a Tony," she said.

"Nonsense darling, you're definitely Tony worthy and if they don't realise it then they're an awful lot stupider than I remember them being," Derek told her.

"Yes, well you're just a tiny bit biased aren't you?" she said as she laughed.

After picking up Charles' baggage and dropping him off at his New York apartment, Derek and Karen headed to the Ambassador Theatre so that she could get in a little bit of extra practise. When they arrived there the entire cast and crew had already arrived.

"What are you guys doing here?" Derek asked "Aren't you supposed to be at home resting?" he continued.

"We figured that seeing as the only person that could scare Sauron himself was coming tonight we'd get in some extra practise so that you can show your dad how awesome a director you are, even though the numerous Tonys and Oliviers should already have done that," Ana said before the doors were unlocked.

The final rehearsal went extremely well and everyone thought that they were ready for their performance in front of the great Charles Wills. Their performance that night went better than any of them could have hoped for, including Derek, they were all met backstage by Charles who looked awestruck to say the least, a look Derek had never seen on his father's face.

"Wow! That was remarkable! I couldn't have directed it better myself son I'm proud of you," Derek stood stock still for a moment. The words 'I'm proud of you' had never once escaped his father's lips.

"Th-thanks Dad," Derek heard himself say, still shocked by what his father had said.

Karen bounded up to the pair saying "So Charles have you seen how amazing your son's interpretation of this show was?" she said "You know he choreographed it as well, we really couldn't have done this show without him!" she continued proudly.

"Yes, I have to say I've not seen anything quite like it and I'm sure that I see a Tony in your future Miss Cartwright," Charles told her.

Derek was still astounded, "Thank you but like I said it's all thanks to Derek," she told the older man "My boyfriend truly is an amazing director,"

"Yes but we wouldn't be here if you hadn't found Jimmy playing Broadway Here I Come in that bar," Derek told her as he pecked her on the cheek.

"Speaking of which where is the famous composer? The music and lyrics are really something," Charles said.

"Sing Sing prison I'm afraid," Derek said a little reluctant to reveal the truth.

"Can I ask why?"

"Oh he hit me with his car about three months back," Karen said as she picked up on the shellshock her boyfriend appeared to be suffering from.

"Oh my! And yet you're still able to perform tonight that is remarkable,"

"Well she is a remarkable woman Dad," Derek announced proudly as Karen blushed before giving her boyfriend a large, passionate kiss.

"Hey Iowa we're all going to do a bit of karaoke with Ivy and Bobby at Lily Hayes if you want to join us," Jessica yelled, interrupting the moment.

"In a minute, Jess," Karen yelled back "You two should definitely come," Karen told her boyfriend and his father.

When everyone arrived at the Lily Hayes Theatre, with Derek and his father in tow, they found the place crowded with the cast of Bombshell and discovered that Tom was still there. He was surprised to see Derek and his father actually getting along as he mentioned to both Ivy and Karen when they got up on the stage, requesting to sing. "Since when do Derek and Charles get along?" he asked in a whisper.

"I don't know one minute Derek was being really cold with him and now they're getting along," Karen said.

She and Ivy stepped towards the microphone as the piano intro for Garth Brooks' Friends in Low Places. It was Karen who began the song and Ivy continued the second verse.

_Blame it all on my roots_

_I showed up in boots_

_And ruined your black tie affair_

_The last one to know_

_The last one to show_

_I was the last one_

_You thought you'd see there_

_And I saw the surprise_

_And the fear in his eyes_

_When I took his glass of champagne_

_And I toasted you_

_Said, "Honey, we may be through_

_But you'll never hear me complain"_

'_Cause I've got friends in low places_

_Where the whiskey drowns_

_And the beer chases my blues away_

_And I'll be okay_

_I'm not big on social graces_

_Think I'll slip on down to the oasis_

'_Cause I've got friends in low places_

By the end of the song Karen saw Derek and his father arguing and she excused herself in order to attempt to diffuse the tension between the two men.

"What's going on guys?" she asked in a slightly happy-go-lucky voice.

"Oh nothing except my father explaining to me that he wants me to go to London and teach a damn class, I should have known that you wouldn't come here without an ulterior motive," Derek told her watching her face fall.

"Now that's not fair Derek! All I asked is that you teach one class for two weeks your mother will be heartbroken if you don't," Charles told his son in a patronizing tone.

"Since when did you ever care for mum? She gave you everything and you threw it back in her face by screwing that dumb blonde you forced me to call mum for six months after the divorce!" Derek yelled, which made Tom stop playing the piano and walk over to his friend before the fight got violent. "Tell me when was the last time you actually spoke to mum?"

"I… I," Charles stuttered.

"Exactly you can't tell me so therefore you don't know what would break my mother's heart and therefore I think you can leave!" Derek continued to yell.

"Would you two please stop it and talk about this like grown men! Charles it's childish to bring up your ex-wife as a way of persuading somebody to do something and Derek quit yelling it doesn't become you," Karen exclaimed and noted the shocked look on the faces of both men. "Charles you can't expect Derek to drop everything just so that he can do exactly as you want, he has a life here and a job. You've caused enough trouble in Derek's life as far as I know, it's because of your patronizing nature that he ended up losing one of the best friendships he's ever known and I will be damned if I'm going to let you screw everything up for him. He's your son not an employee, now treat him as such and stop belittling him!" she continued allowing her voice to raise itself before walking towards where Ana, Jessica, Sue, Ivy, Bobby and Dennis were stood.

"Charles I think maybe you should leave and let everyone calm down," Tom his friend's father who proceeded to leave the building. Derek turned to walk towards Karen "Derek, maybe you should let her calm down before you talk to her," was all Tom could tell his friend.

About half an hour later Derek decided to talk to Karen who was now laughing with her friends. He took her to one side "I'm sorry, it's just my dad's a bit of an arse when it comes to getting what he wants and it gets into my head, I should have realised that he wanted something," he told her remorsefully

"I accept your apology Derek but please, please promise me that you'll remember that it shouldn't matter what your dad thinks of your work so long as you're proud of it," she reminded him.

"It's just he said he was proud of me and I bloody well believed him because he's never told any of us that! Not even my brother, James, who's always been his favourite of his kids and so I believed him didn't I?" he said his head hung low.

"Hey, I get it, you shouldn't feel that you have to seek your dad's approval of everything, why seek the approval of someone who doesn't even give it without having a catch right?" she told him before giving him a quick kiss and returning to her friends.


	15. The Negotiation

_**A/N – I'm beginning to think that setting myself targets on how many views I get is pointless because I've now surpassed the 4,500 mark which was my goal for the end of the month. I do plan on going back to school tomorrow and hopefully I will be able to stay for the whole day because I am falling rather far behind on that front so likeliness is that you will only get a total of seven chapters this week, sorry.**_

The morning after the incident with his father Derek was still feeling rather low and it hadn't escaped Karen's notice. He didn't bother cooking breakfast so the pair just had cereal, he didn't even attempt to look at the paper in fact he just sat on the sofa staring at nothing at all in particular. When Lily ran down the stairs she tried to cheer him up by giving him a massive big bear hug, or as big a one as she could manage, but it didn't work and the poor little girl couldn't make heads or tails of it so she asked her godmother

"What's wrong with Uncle Derek?" she asked naïvely with big brown doe eyes.

"He got into a fight with his daddy," Karen told the little girl as honestly as you can possibly be with a five-year-old.

"What about?" Lily asked her voice was as innocent as with her last question.

"Grown up stuff Lily," Karen told her young goddaughter, it just didn't seem right to explain to a five-year-old, whose parents were in the first stages of divorce proceeding, the complexities that parents could bring.

"I hate grown up stuff!" Lily exclaimed as she crossed her arms.

"Me too sweetheart, me too," Karen said quietly before Lily ran to Derek to see, once again, whether she could cheer him up. The truth was Karen had absolutely no clue as to what to do. She'd never seen Derek like this, she'd seen him in fits of rage, she'd seen him in the most positive moods imaginable but she had never ever seen him in states of what looked like they could be depression and the sight brought back memories of her younger sister's suicide.

_Flashback, 2004_

_The December snow had covered Iowa like a soft white blanket when Karen had come in from school on that winter's day. She and her friends had been out buying themselves some new winter clothes and accessories, an absolute necessity which they'd been avoiding for the past month. The house was nowhere near quiet considering the fact that she had left her younger sister, Caroline, alone. She could hear the sound of Oasis' classic Don't Look Back in Anger playing on the loud stereo system on a loop. Karen decided to go upstairs to tell her sister to turn the music down._

_She scaled up the stairs, suddenly feeling a chill wash over her as the song began for the second time since Karen had entered the house._

Slip inside the eye of your mind

Don't you know you might find

A better place to play

_She took another step up the stairs staying ever so slightly quiet._

You said that you'd never been

All the things that you've seen

Will slowly fade away

_Karen reached the top of the stairs and silently crept towards the door knowing how overly moody her sister had been over the previous few months._

So I'll start the revolution from my bed

Cos you said the brains I had went to my head

Step outside 'coz summertime's in bloom

_She tapped on the door, hoping that when she did go in a row wouldn't await her. No answer._

Stand up beside the fireplace

Take that look from off your face

You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

_Karen knocked again._

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by

Her soul slides away, "But don't look back in anger", I heard you say

_There was still no answer, Karen opened the door slightly and looked inside and found her sister lying on her bed surrounded by a pool of blood. She tried to wake her sister up and as she did found a slit on Caroline's wrist, the poor girl had tried to kill herself. Karen checked for a pulse and when she couldn't find one she grabbed the mobile phone from her pocket and dialled 911._

"_911, what's your emergency?" she was asked by a woman whose voice reminded her of her mother._

"_Umm… I-I just found my sister, she's slit her wrist," she found herself saying between sobs._

"_Does she have a pulse?"_

"_No, please send someone I don't know what to do," Karen cried._

"_Okay where are you?" the woman on the other end of the line said calmly._

_Karen gave the woman the address before attempting CPR and pretty soon paramedics arrived and pronounced the young woman dead at 4.22pm._

_Karen sat on her sister's bed waiting for her parents to come home thinking about how she was going to tell them that her beloved younger sister had committed suicide at the age of 12. Karen couldn't help but think of how she should have seen the signs: the mood swings, the overly dark music the young girl had listened to, her lack of interest in anything. It all seemed to add up now in Karen's head and it hadn't been until it was too late that they revealed the result._

The signs were beginning to show in Derek, he was showing no concern for anything around him and it scared the hell out of Karen. A knock at the door stopped Karen in the midst of all her thoughts as she went to open the door.

"Hi, I'm Grace, Derek's sister, you must be Karen, dad told me about their little argument and I figured I might be able to help," she was told by the almost carbon copy of Derek that stood before her at the door.

"Hi, come in," Karen told the older woman. "Derek your sister's here," she called but he continued to sit on the couch, staring into space.

"How long's he been like this?" Grace asked about her brother, she'd only seen this side of Derek a few times.

"He was like this from when we got home up until now, I'm scared he's showing all the signs that my sister did before she committed suicide," Karen replied worriedly.

Grace went to sit down by her brother as Karen picked up Lily. "Derek I know you're pissed off with Dad but he means well, he told me everything, look I know you're really pissed off with him but he wants to talk and apologize," she told her brother.

"Did he tell you how he brought mum into the conversation or how he said that he was _proud _of me before asking me for a favour? He does this every single sodding time Grace and all of us should know by now not to trust exactly what he says," Derek retorted sharply.

"I get it! You're still pissed off with him because of how her left mum for that stupid blonde harlot, you're still blaming him for Anne's death, you're still bloody well blaming him for the fact that Tom hasn't been civil to you in over ten years, I get it but you know he's trying to change!" Grace tried to explain to her brother.

"No he's not! You really don't remember what he was like when you guys were little, do you? You don't remember that James and I used to have to pull him away to stop him from hitting you, Anne or mum when he was drunk, you've mentally blanked out the fact that he didn't even bother to go to Anne's funeral because he was supposed to be going to some goddamn Opera that day! Excuse me for not wanting to forgive him for this, on top of all the crap he's done to me and the rest of our family!" Derek yelled before storming off to his and Karen's bedroom.

"Well, that went well," Grace said sarcastically before plonking herself down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

"Lily why don't you go and find Uncle Derek and tell him that I say that he needs to get his butt down here within the next half hour otherwise I _will _drag him out," Karen told her goddaughter.

"Okay Aunt Karen," Lily said before skipping off to find Derek.

"Is that your sister's little girl?" Grace said.

"No, that's my best friend, Amy's, daughter, they're staying here while Amy gets back on her feet, she just split up with her husband," Karen explained.

"Ah, now what do you suggest we do about my brother?" Grace asked

"I was thinking that maybe we should get your dad to come round here so that the pair of them can talk it out, hopefully without yelling, mind you last night Tom and I had to intervene, so maybe we should do a phone conference on that one. Anyway I thought you were in London with the Royal Ballet?"

"They transferred me over to the New York City Ballet Company and it looks like their timing was impeccable. It's been lovely to finally meet you and put a face to the voice by the way,"

"Same here, although I do feel like I'm meeting everyone all at once, and not under the best of circumstances,"

At that moment Lily ran down the stairs "Uncle Derek says that he won't come downstairs unless Grace leaves," she said innocently

"Well then Derek, this is really childish of you, you had better get your arse in here now otherwise I won't leave, now stop acting like a petulant child," Grace yelled "He's not like this in the theatre as well is he?" she asked Karen.

"Not to this extent but I remember when I told him I was going out with Jimmy and he refused to talk to me other than to give direction for about two weeks," she told her as he came down the stairs.

"I'm here now what is it you want to talk about?" Derek sighed.

"Your father is going to come here and the two of you are going to talk about this like adults instead of throwing massive tantrums like children. Now sit down and _be nice _to your sister," Karen said.

An hour later Charles was in the apartment and Grace and Karen were being forced to referee what was turning into a slag-off between the two men. "You do this each and every time, Dad. You turn up, you tell us what we want to hear so that you can get exactly what you want from us and then you up and leave. It's no wonder James avoids family gatherings as much as possible because you're so bloody controlling," Derek said in as calm a voice as possible.

"Now that's not true…" Charles began as a defence but he was cut off by his daughter.

"Actually Dad it is kind of true, remember when you showed up at my performance of Swan Lake and then demanded that I lend you five grand?" Grace reminded him of the incident.

"I did no such thing and why shouldn't a man be able to borrow money off his children, I raised you didn't I?" he said defensively.

"Two things: 1. You never paid the money back and 2. It was mum that raised us and if Derek and James hadn't been there I wouldn't have had any male figures in my life!" Grace pointed out.

'This is a disaster,' Karen thought to herself before saying "This is getting us nowhere, I know this will hurt both of your prides but I suggest that you both apologize to one another, Derek if your father apologizes then maybe you should go to London, it's only for a few days, and Charles if Derek apologizes well then, no even if he doesn't apologize you should still treat all your children as though you love them instead of treating them like employees,"

"Sorry dad," Derek said reluctantly.

"Sorry Derek, but…" Charles was cut off mid-sentence by Karen.

"No but's just leave it at that, an apology,"

"Wow! I don't think anyone has ever been able to make Derek apologize to anyone before! It's official Derek, she's a keeper!" Grace exclaimed happily.


	16. The Shock

_**A/N – Okay so since discovering this piece of fanfiction and the amount of lovely, kind reviews I've gotten my grandmother has been encouraging me to go into publishing and become a writer, which is kind of cool, I guess but I still have Broadway dreams as well, but I found it amazingly entertaining when my nana brought up that maybe a literary agent might be reading this and may contact me about a contract. Doubt that'll happen but anyway here's chapter 16.**_

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Derek said at JFK airport before boarding his flight.

"I'll be fine, I've got Amy with me at the apartment and if anything happens I'll be sure to call," Karen told her boyfriend.

It wasn't much but the kiss goodbye that followed did get Derek on the plane. He wasn't looking forward to the trip, he'd never been a very good teacher, as many people would attest to, and the idea of three days without Karen scared him. For the entire time that they'd been together, which was nearing three months, they'd barely been apart for more than three hours, so four days was going to be difficult. Karen wasn't looking forward to their time apart either. She was worried that the show may just go up in flames if Derek wasn't there to guide and instruct the cast and crew. Hit List had been like their child, one that they'd both looked after from its infancy until it became the huge hit that it had become. She was also worried that, now that Derek had gone back to London, Harry may turn up and demand a reconciliation from Amy and having seen and felt what Harry was like if he didn't get his way, she wasn't looking forward to the possibility of that at all.

When Derek landed in Heathrow Airport at 6pm London time, the first thing he did was to call Karen to tell her that he was okay. She, of course, picked up immediately, "Hey, I was ringing to tell you that I've landed safely, are you okay?" he asked, they'd barely been away from each other for two 6 hours and they missed each other like crazy.

"Yeah, I'm fine, how are you?" she said as she looked out of the window at the New York skyline. The whole city didn't seem anywhere near as pretty or happy as when Derek was with her.

"I'm good, flight was terrible, there was a child kicking the back of my seat and another one screaming blue bloody murder the entire flight. I don't understand why people take their children on a plane if they're not going to teach them how to behave in such a space!" Derek told her, the thought made her giggle. Karen had only been on a plane a few times in her entire life and each time they'd been short ones where there were no issues, although she still didn't like flying herself.

"Oh, babe I wish I could be there to share in your pain, now I've got to go, I'm about to go on, they're calling ten minutes to curtain call, now," she said "I miss you,"

"Good luck, although I doubt you'll need it. I miss you too love, now go otherwise Miranda will murder you if you're late on stage," he said as he remembered he'd last worked with the stage manager.

Karen hung up the phone and went to the wings where she waited to go on stage. The performance went well but without Derek there watching her, Karen felt as though something was missing. She missed her boyfriend terribly, this was her first Broadway performance where he wasn't there and she missed his calming words of wisdom before the curtain went up, his soothing voice when she got nervous, the traditional speech that told her that she shouldn't let anyone convince her that she wasn't a star, it was a comfort to her and something that she missed when he wasn't there as she realised that night.

The cast took their curtain calls and Karen decided to plod on home where she could sleep. At around 8am she got another phone call but this time it wasn't from Derek it was from her mother. Karen picked up knowing that Elizabeth Cartwright would never phone at such an early hour unless something was really, truly wrong. "Mom, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Karen said worriedly as she sat up in the bed.

"Karen, your father has had a heart attack," Elizabeth exclaimed through tears "You don't have to come to Iowa we wouldn't want for Hit List to suffer," she reassured her daughter

"Mum, I'm coming to Iowa, Hit List can live without me for a week or two, Jess has been trained as my understudy now and Jerry can't be that unreasonable, I'll make some calls and I should be in Iowa by this afternoon," Karen said as she held back the tears that she could feel coming.

After the phone conversation ended Karen allowed her tears to fall. They were the kind of tears that burned like you'd imagine your hand would if you'd set it on fire. She dialled the first number she could think of.

"Hello Karen," Derek said after picking up the phone and when he heard that she was crying he immediately grew concerned, "What's wrong love?" he asked trying to maintain his composure in front of the class he was teaching.

"M-my Dad h-had a h-heart attack," she blubbered as she began pacing her room trying to find stuff for her trip to Iowa.

"Love, your dad will be fine do you want me to come back so you've got someone there?" he asked, knowing that even if Karen said no that he was going to go to Iowa and be with her.

"I'll be fine Derek, you've just gotten on good terms with your dad I don't want you to ruin that just for me," she said.

"Okay, I'll take care of talking to Jerry, you go get the next flight to Iowa and I'll see you when I get back from London," he said, it was the least he could do "Love, remember, your dad's going to be fine," he told her knowing that it was one of the only thing that may even have a chance of calming her down.

As Karen got on the little plane that would take her to Iowa she was hysterical with panic. She'd never liked flying and knowing that her dad was currently in hospital in Iowa did not help. She sat in her allocated seat and immediately burst into tears once again. The airline had sat her in between Amy and Lily; she was thankful to the sheer dumb luck given to her for that one, after Amy had decided, against her better judgement, to return to Iowa and help comfort her best friend. "It's going to be okay Karen, your dad's going to be fine," Amy told her best friend, it wasn't working. The two young women felt themselves being forced backwards as the plane began to take off and Karen gripped onto the arm rests for dear life, her knuckles as white as snow.

At the same time Derek was in a rather heated discussion with a British Airways employee, "Sir I cannot let you on that flight!" was all he was being told by the admittedly stupid young man.

"Why the hell not? I _need _to get on that flight to New York so that I can meet up with my girlfriend in Iowa who's in a state of hysterics at this current moment in time because her father has just suffered a heart attack and is currently in hospital! Now you'd better get me on that flight or I _will _kick your arse!" Derek yelled, he was desperate to get to Karen in Iowa.

There were several shouts of "Let the man on the bloody flight!" from disgruntled and impatient passengers.

"I'll see what I can do," sighed the petrified airline employee "Do you have any baggage you need to take with you that can't be carried onto the aircraft?"

"No," Derek said impatiently.

"There's your ticket sir," the employee told him as he handed him said ticket "You have 30 minutes before your flight leaves,"

"Finally," Derek exclaimed before running to go through security and the gate so he could get on the plane and into New York.

When Karen landed in Iowa she, Amy and Lily were greeted by Marlena and Lisa at the arrivals gate. Although she was pleased to see two of her best friends she was desperate to see her father so Lisa drove the car at its top speed.

When she saw her dad, hooked up to several machines but still alive and awake she understood why he'd tried to get her to go back to Iowa and she smiled through her tears. She walked into his room and sat down in one of the seats beside the hospital bed. "Karen I wasn't expecting to see you, what about Hit List? Is Derek with you?" Roger asked weakly as he searched for the man who'd captured his daughter's heart.

"Hit List can live without me for a few nights, Jess can understudy for a while. Derek's still caught up in London he wanted to be here but I told him not to. He's only over there because of his dad and they've already had one argument over the whole fiasco, he doesn't need another one. Anyway how are you?" she said disappointedly, she hadn't been able to get hold of Derek since she'd arrived in Iowa and it was worrying her.

A few hours later, Derek arrived at JFK airport and he ran to the United Airlines ticket desk, "Can I get a ticket on your next flight to Iowa please?" he panted as he passed his frequent flier card.

"Sure Mr Wills would that be first class?" the employee politely asked.

"Anything so long as I'm on that flight," he replied as he caught his breath.

"Any baggage?" was the response.

"Just carry on," Derek replied.

The employee handed over the ticket and Derek's frequent flier card and said "That flight leaves in an hour,"

"Thank you," Derek said happily before walking to the security desk.

As he sat down in his seat in economy class, it was his first cattle class flight since he was 18, he thought to himself 'I'll get to see Karen soon,'

When Karen saw Derek enter her father's room a few hours later she thought that it was a hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation and it wasn't until she saw her boyfriend shake her father's hand that she actually believed her eyes.

"I thought you were still in London, what did your dad have to say?" she asked as she hugged him tightly.

"He was pretty reasonable I just explained that you would need me," he said as he held her for a minute.

"You're so full of yourself," Karen laughed.

"I'm not," he said feigning hurt.

Roger and Elizabeth watched on as their daughter hugged her boyfriend not wishing to enlighten them on what had caused Roger's heart attack. "How about I take you two back to the house and you can get settled in?" Elizabeth suggested.


	17. The Argument

_**A/N – My parents have decided to ban me from typing this up after 7.30pm at night which really does limit my writing time so I'm taking as much time as I can out of English to write this instead of revising for exams. They give us exam leave for a reason anyway, although exams start after Queen's Birthday which is next Monday! Yay!**_

A few days into their stay in Iowa Karen explained the truth about her parentage to Derek "Elizabeth isn't my birth mother," she began as they lay in bed one night.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little confused," Derek replied softly.

"My biological mother's name is Linda North and when I was three-years-old she left my dad for this rich film producer in Los Angeles, about a month later my dad met Elizabeth and a year later they were married and had my sister, Caroline, it's funny, their wedding is actually my first memory," Karen explained.

"You never told me you had a sister," was all Derek could say after the revelation.

"She committed suicide when I was sixteen, it's what made me make the decision to go to Broadway," she said regretfully as tears slid down her face.

Derek wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her forehead before asking her "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Because I thought that if you really knew about my supposedly idyllic childhood you'd leave me," she admitted, still crying as she said it.

He just held her for a few seconds until she looked up and told him "The reason I'm bringing this up now is because I think Linda's the reason that Dad had his heart attack. The doctors said the heart attack was brought on by stress and when Linda turns up that's all there is," she carefully explained.

"Why might that be?" he asked his curiosity beginning to show.

"Because every single time she shows up it's because she 'needs' money to pay a divorce attorney to break a pre-nup with whichever rich guy she's married to," Karen said with disappointment in her voice.

The situation between Karen and Linda reminded Derek of the one he had with his father and he could now make sense of what Karen had meant when she'd said she understood it.

The next morning, as Karen and Derek sat in her parent's kitchen eating their breakfast, there was a loud knock at the front door. Karen got up to answer it, telling Derek to stay behind in the kitchen. She wasn't surprised when she saw her biological mother at the door, "Linda," Karen said coldly.

"Karen is that any way to greet the woman who gave birth to you? Give me a hug," Linda said loudly before grabbing Karen and clutching her to her bosom as Karen smiled fakely and uncomfortably.

Linda let go of her daughter and walked through to the kitchen, "Who is this delicious man, Karen? And what is he doing in your father's kitchen?" she asked purposefully forgetting Elizabeth.

"Derek Wills, Karen's boyfriend and you must be Linda North, Karen's mother," Derek said, reaching for Linda's hand and kissing her knuckles, Karen smiled and mouthed 'Thank you' as Linda blushed.

"It's actually soon to be Linda Kelly again, so there you go," she said.

"What number's that? Husband number seven, you've almost beaten Elizabeth Taylor," Karen said sarcastically as she raised her eyebrows.

"Number six _actually, _but Jeffrey really was a bore he never talked of anything but politics," Linda retorted.

"If he was such a _bore_ as you put it then why did you marry him? Now I'm guessing you've turned up here for some reason so why don't we stop the small talk and you actually tell me why you've turned up here," Karen said, her voice still cold and unemotional.

"I'm getting another divorce, as I'm sure you've figured out, and I need some money to pay my divorce attorney," Linda explained.

'Haha, I _was _right,' Karen thought to herself before exclaiming "So you come here, to Iowa, somewhere you've already said you hated, on several occasions, and announce that you need another five grand so that you can pay your fancy lawyer so that you can marry some other rich bastard?"

"You can't speak to me like that! I gave birth to you young lady and I sure as hell will not have you speaking to me in that manner!" the elder woman yelled.

Derek watched the two women in disbelief; he'd rarely ever seen Karen blow up at anyone before and the last time he'd seen it had been during Tech rehearsals with the Daisy incident.

"I can speak to you however I want Linda! You're not my real mother! You left me when I was three and only came to see me when you needed money! Before I went out to New York I tried to find you in LA, and I saw you and I _know _you saw me but you just freaking well ignored me! So I suggest you leave before you give _me _a heart attack and I'm sure you don't want that on your conscience!" Karen shouted.

"Derek could you reason with her?" Linda pleaded.

"Actually I think Karen's right you should leave the premises Linda before I _personally _remove you!" he bellowed defensively as he wrapped his arms around Karen and kissed her forehead.

And with that Linda strutted out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Karen cried into Derek's chest for a good five minutes, he let her she needed to release any left-over pent up sadness before seeing her father again.

When they got to the hospital after the morning's fiasco, Roger and Elizabeth had already found out about the situation. Linda had already been into the hospital, seen Roger and Elizabeth and proclaimed that Karen had been raised terribly and what a terrible man Derek was for their daughter. They decided to explain to the couple what had happened "What did you tell Linda? Derek she certainly seems to hate you," Roger said, he no longer sounded weak and in fact he wanted for Karen to return to New York, Broadway and Hit List.

"I may have forced her to leave the house," Derek said cheekily.

"And I love him all the more for it," Karen said sweetly, her eyes were still red and puffy from the crying she'd already done but they were currently full of joy and love.

Derek just kissed her forehead at that one and Roger and Elizabeth watched and realised the maturity of their daughter's relationship.


	18. The Nominations

_**A/N – Haha I passed the 5,000 viewers mark and as I write this chapter I've also just sat through the season finale of Smash and I spent the entire time yelling at the screen and then crying at the end because they got it sooooo wrong. Sorry I've always kind of hated the Kimmy and Divy ships and always wanted a Cartwills romance but it never happens and at the beginning of The Tonys they gave me hope! So now I'm blaming Safran for the shows cancellation! That man should be shot! Although I have to admit that version of Under Pressure was stunning.**_

"It's starting! Derek get your butt in here!" Karen exclaimed it was the day of the Tony nomination announcement and Karen was excited to say the least, she'd tied with Ivy for the Critics Circle Award and Hit List had won in almost every category it was nominated for, Derek had tied with Tom for Best Director which Karen, Ivy and Julia had found rather entertaining.

"Okay, love," Derek shouted back as he made his way down the stairs and into the lounge where Karen was sat on the couch with the laptop plugged into the giant TV.

After returning from Iowa just one week previously, Amy and Lily had moved into their own apartment in SoHo and Karen and Derek had what they were now calling 'their' apartment back to themselves.

"And the nominees for Best Featured Actress in a Musical are Annaleigh Ashford, for Kinky Boots, Leigh Conroy, for Bombshell, Ivy Lynn, for Liaisons, Ana Vargas for Hit List and Lauren Ward for Matilda," Sutton Foster announced in her clear voice from years of theatre acting.

"Ana will be pleased," Derek said softly.

"As will Ivy although I'm not sure how Leigh will react, she still insists that Hit List is a circus act," Karen replied her voice equally as soft as the nominations for Best Featured Actor in a musical were announced.

"… Keith Carradine for Hands on a Hardbody, Will Chase for the Mystery of Edwin Drood, Gabriel Ebert for Matilda, and Terrence Mann for Pippin," Jesse Tyler Ferguson announced.

"Get ready to start you collection, darling," Derek told his lovely girlfriend before the announcements for Best Leading Actress nominees began.

"Stephanie J. Block for the Mystery of Edwin Drood, Karen Cartwright for Hit List, Ivy Lynn for Bombshell, Patina Miller for Pippin and Laura Osnes for Cinderella,"

Karen brought Derek's face down to hers and she pressed her lips to his losing herself in the moment as Sam's nomination for Best Leading Actor was announced.

"The nominees for Best Direction of a Musical are Tom Levitt for Bombshell, Jerry Mitchell for Kinky Boots, Diane Paulus for Pippin, Matthew Wauchus for Matilda and Derek Wills for Hit List,"

"The nominees for Best Choreography are Peter Darling for Matilda, Jerry Mitchell for Pippin, Derek Wills for Bombshell and Derek Wills for Hit List,"

"Oh my god! You're up there with Bob Fosse!" Karen exclaimed, Derek was the first person _since _Fosse to be nominated for three Tonys all in one year.

"Does that make you my Gwen Verdon?" he replied seductively referring to Fosse's third wife.

"Only if you want me to be," she told him sexily.

"Well of course I want you to be," he growled and that was it Karen pushed him back onto the couch and proceeded to unbutton his shirt as he moved his hands up her back. She unzipped his trousers as he lifted her top off her before unhooking her bra which she shrugged off before whirling it over her head and discarding it as Derek massaged her breasts.

Pretty soon all clothes and underwear were on the lounge floor as they rolled off the couch and onto the ground going every which way possible.

And then it was over, as quickly as it started. Derek and Karen lay, completely naked, on the floor for a few seconds until they heard a knock at the door. Both quickly stood up and rushed to put their clothes on before answering the door to find the casts of both Bombshell and Hit List at their door.

"So how are the two Tony nominees this morning?" Ana asked excitedly.

"Fine," Karen breathed.

"Fine," Derek said.

"Come on you must be pretty excited Mr nominated for three Tonys in one year," Ivy teased.

"Yeah the only other person to do that was Bob Fosse which makes Karen here the new Gwen Verdon," Sam continued.

Karen blushed before say retorting "Only if I win and I'm up against Ivy so it's tough competition,"

"Hey at least you're not up against your own mother _as well _as Ana," Ivy told her.

"You've got a point there," Karen agreed with a chuckle watching as everyone filed into hers and Derek's apartment. They began a massive champagne breakfast style affair to celebrate the nominations when the phone rang, "Hello, Karen Cartwright speaking," Karen said clearly into the phone over the loud noise her friends were making.

"Hi, I'm Bridget Edgecomb, lawyer for the prosecution in the James Collins case," came the female voice on the other end of the phone, "Are you available to talk, Miss Cartwright?"

"Yeah, could you give me a second?" Karen said into the receiver and without waiting for a reply put her hand over it and yelled "Everyone could you all please be quiet for a few minutes? This phone call is important!" and then she was back on the phone "Sorry about that, what was it you wanted to talk about Ms Edgecomb?"

"We were wondering whether you'd be willing to testify at James' trial, I understand that it may be difficult but it really would help the case against him," was the lawyer's reply in a typical New York accent.

"When is the trial?" Karen asked unsurely.

"Two months from now,"

"Can I think about this and get back to you?" Karen replied.

"Of course, take the next few days to think it over and get back to me when you've made your decision," Bridget told her before giving Karen her phone number and hanging up the phone.

"What was that about?" Sam asked having noticed that all colour had gone from his friend and co-star's face.

"Oh it's nothing, just… excuse me for a second," she said her voice quietening as she went on before dashing up the stairs and sinking down the wall beside the door to hers and Derek's room.

Everyone looked around the room in silence to the point where you could hear a pin drop. Then Derek told everyone "I'll just go see what's wrong," before running up the stairs to find Karen on the floor, sobbing, with her head in her hands. "What's up love?" he asked softly.

"They want me to testify against Jimmy at his trial," she told her boyfriend through the apparent tears.

"And you're not sure whether you want everything dragged up in court," he said knowingly.

"I just don't want to stand in court and tell them every detail and then see his face as I tell the jury exactly what he did to me and then have to watch him deny everything," she explained.

"If necessary they've already got your witness statement and they'll only call you up if they feel it's needed," he said as he pulled her into a hug, her head resting on his chest as she sobbed. It was all he could do to comfort his girlfriend. He kissed her forehead before saying "Now come on let's go downstairs and celebrate your first of what I know will be many Tony nominations,"

"Okay," she said softly, smiling as Derek helped her up off the floor. He held her hand as they walked down the stairs and into the crowded living room "Sorry about that," she graciously told her guests.

"Are you alright?" Ana, Sam, Jessica, Sue and Ivy all cried in near perfect unison.

"Yeah that phone call was from a lawyer, they want me to testify against Jimmy," Karen announced to her Broadway family as she'd dubbed them.

"It's taken this long to take it to trial? The man could have killed you for god's sake!" Ivy exclaimed, summing up exactly what everyone else was thinking.

"Yeah well apparently it's still not important enough seeing as the trial's not for another two months," Karen sighed "But anyway let's not allow it to spoil our day," she continued, her voice back to its perky norm.

The question throughout the impromptu party was the same. Who was going to accept on Jimmy and Kyle's behalf should they win? Karen thought it should be Julia seeing as it had been Julia who'd worked on the book, a few people agreed but then most thought it would be more appropriate that Karen accept the award but she didn't want to, under any circumstances, accept Jimmy's award. It didn't seem right that she accept an award won by the man she was helping to imprison.

The decision was eventually made that Ana accept the award on Jimmy's behalf and Karen accept on Kyle's behalf.

Everyone left by noon and the group had agreed to meet for drinks the next night at Table 46 to properly celebrate. Karen and Derek were once again alone. "What should I do Derek?" Karen sighed.

"About the trial? You should do whatever you feel you should do and whatever that is then I will support you, no matter what," Derek said and by god did he mean it.

"I think that maybe I should testify, that way I'll at least know that I helped," she told him and at that he pressed his lips to hers, he wanted to tell her exactly how he felt about what Jimmy had done to her, how he wanted to kill the bastard but he knew it would hurt Karen too much and although she'd proved her strength she was still fragile on the subject of Jimmy.


	19. The Tonys

_**A/N – Okay so this is another one inspired by how I believe the season finale should have gone as I'm sure is becoming a running theme within the past few chapters and I'm pretty excited about this one.**_

It was the night of the Tonys and everyone on Broadway was excited. Karen had spent three hours getting ready for the big event. Her hair had been teased, pinned and curled into a loose bun with a few strands left out to frame her face. Her make-up was completely natural to match the blush pink tones in the strapless Marchesa gown she'd chosen for the event. When she walked down the stairs and into the living room all Derek could say was "Wow, you look stunning!" he was star struck by his own girlfriend and it surprised him to say the least.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said with a laugh as she straightened his tie. The doorbell rang to signal Ana's arrival and Karen went to open the door.

When she answered the door Karen found her friend stood in the doorway, her short hair curled to perfection, in a blood red cowl neck dress that showed off every curve she had making her look like a goddess.

"Well I'm definitely going to be the luckiest guy there with the two most beautiful women on my arm," Derek joked as he kissed Ana on the cheek making the two women burst into fits of laughter but Karen's had a nervous quality to it. She knew that she shouldn't be nervous, but not only were she and Ana performing I'm Not Sorry, at Jerry's request even though everyone else had though Broadway Here I Come far more appropriate, but she and Ivy were also performing a new number, written by Tom and Julia, called the Big Finish to close the show. She knew it inside out, back to front but she was still performing this new number in front of Broadway's elite.

The threesome got into the black town car that Derek had hired for the night and within fifteen minutes they were at the Radio City Music Hall. They got out of the car and onto the plush red carpet. Journalists began to fire questions from all directions and Karen felt herself tighten the grip she had on Derek. They stopped every once in a while to answer questions, have pictures taken and sign autographs. Karen didn't mind signing autographs for fans but it bugged her when journalists asked the young actress about her private life and she wanted to get inside so that she could sit down. She was getting a headache from the numerous flashbulbs that were going off in her face all at once.

Several journalists had asked whether Derek had proposed. The idea that the pair would be getting married after only a few months together seemed preposterous to Karen.

When they eventually made their way inside they were met by Ivy, Tom, Julia, Eileen and Leigh. Ivy and Julia hugged their three friends, Tom and Eileen shook Derek's hand before proffering a kiss on the cheek for both Karen and Ana. Leigh, on the other hand, gave a cold greeting. This wasn't surprising; Leigh Conroy was famed for her icy demeanour towards the competition on Tony night. The casts and creative teams of Bombshell and Hit List had been seated relatively close together to make it easier for the cameramen to find them and so when they took their seats only the aisle separated Karen and Ivy.

The first award of the night was that of Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical and after the nominations were read out Ana, Ivy and Leigh sat with baited breath "And the award goes to…" Sutton Foster said as she opened the tightly sealed envelope "We have a tie, Ivy Lynn for Liaisons and Ana Vargas for Hit List!"

Both Ivy and Ana leapt out of their seats and walked up to the stage feeling exactly how surreal the moment was as they climbed the stairs onto the stage "I guess maybe we should do this in alphabetical order, shouldn't we?" Ana said, stepping back so that Ivy could take to the podium.

"Okay well first I have to thank my mum, and fellow nominee, Leigh Conroy, for bringing me up in this magical world known as the theatre. You taught me to love this place and hate the last name you, thankfully, hadn't let me have, so thanks. I suppose I have to thank all of the other nominees and my fellow winner, Ana. And of course I have to thank my friends, Sam, Karen, Bobby, Jessica, Sue and Dennis. My critics probably won't know this, or if they did then they've kept quiet, but a few months back when Bombshell was previewing in Boston, I attempted an overdose on sleeping pills and now that I look back on it I realise that it was a stupid, stupid thing to even attempt and so I have to thank everyone of my friends for helping me through it," she said, Karen was surprised that Ivy had mentioned it, Karen had blamed herself for Ivy's attempted suicide for months before hand, if she hadn't accepted Marilyn, if she hadn't gotten mad at her over Dev and here was Ivy basically saying that she was forgiven. To say Karen was shocked was an understatement.

Then Ana took to the stage, thanking everyone she could possibly think of before both women left the stage.

Then it was time for the award for best book, Karen gripped tightly onto Derek's hand as the nominees were read out. When they heard Kyle's name and it was announced that Karen would accept the award on his behalf she jumped out of her seat and walked up to the stage. "When I met Kyle a few months back, he got me to sign the playbill from the Boston preview for Bombshell and after I signed it his friend Jimmy began to play Broadway Here I Come and the combination of the beautiful song and the shy young man who stood before me that sold me on Hit List and look how far it's come! I'm sure if Kyle were here right now he'd be too busy looking out at this audience and picking out faces and naming people to thank anyone so seeing as he's not here, except in spirit, I'll have to thank everyone for him. I suppose Kyle would want me to thank Derek Wills, our fabulous director, Jerry Rand, the producer that got us to Broadway and Scott Nichols who got Hit List from the Fringe into a theatre in Downtown Manhattan. Then there's Jimmy Collins, Kyle's best friend and the composer and lyricist for this amazing musical words can't say what Jimmy did for Kyle," Karen said before leaving the stage and returning to her seat.

It took a while for the next few awards to be presented; Tom and Julia were presented with Best Score and then came the category for Best Choreography. Karen had complete faith that Derek would win but he was still nervous, which for Derek was abnormal to say the least. "And the award goes to... Derek Wills for Bombshell!"

Derek ran up to the stage and took to the podium "Well there really is only one person I can thank for this one, my wonderful muse and girlfriend, Karen Cartwright, you truly are the most amazing woman I've ever met and you've begun to make me the man I want to be, so thank you for being you," he said. This was Derek Wills confessing his love for a woman in front of the whole Broadway community and the world watching the award show on CBS.

He returned to his seat and Karen said "You forgot something,"

"What was that?" he asked a little flustered.

"This," she told him before kissing him firmly on the mouth before he sat down.

They sat hand in hand as Ivy and the ensemble of Bombshell performed Let's Be Bad and then it was time for the award for Best Direction of a Musical. Derek was an awful lot more relaxed as he sat drawing circles on the back of Karen's hand. "And the award goes to… it's another tie! Tom Levitt for Bombshell and Derek Wills for Hit List!"

Tom and Derek climbed the stairs to the stage, sharing a look and laughing before they arrived at the podium. "I suppose you should start," Derek told his friend.

"Okay, well I suppose I should thank the committee, the producer of this musical Eileen Rand, my writing partner, Julia Houston, and I suppose I should thank you Derek for leaving so that I could step in," Tom said earning a laugh from the audience before stepping aside so that Derek could take to the podium.

"Right so I've got to thank Jimmy Collins and the late Kyle Bishop for writing this musical and then I suppose I have to thank the amazingly talented young cast I've gotten to direct in Hit List: Karen, Sam and Ana. Then I suppose I have to thank Tom and Jerry for annoying me so much that I left Bombshell," he said earning another laugh.

The two friends left the stage, to find Karen stood backstage in full costume for I'm Not Sorry. She grabbed Derek by his tie and pulled him into a long lingering kiss that lasted until it was announced that Karen and Ana would take to the stage. She ran onto the stage and performed her heart out. Then she quickly changed back into her dress, leaving her hair down, and returning to her seat next to Derek.

Then it was time for the announcement of the Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical, Ivy and Karen sat and watched their fate unfold. When Karen's name was called she sat still, a smile frozen on her face. "You know they just announced that you won right?" Derek asked.

"What?" she said astounded.

"Yeah, go on love, start your collection," he replied before she briskly walked up to the stage, tripping up the stairs in a similar fashion to how Jennifer Lawrence had at the Oscars of that same year.

"Sorry, I had to be told that I actually _won _a Tony!" she exclaimed as she accepted the award. "Umm so I have to thank my parents for their continued love and support, the American Theatre Wing and the Broadway League for choosing me over all of the other amazing actresses in this category. Then there's my magnificent boyfriend and director, Derek Wills, babe you believed in me when no-one else did, thank you," she said with tears in her eyes "Bob Fosse once said that the time to sing is when your emotional level is too high to just speak anymore, and the time to dance is when your emotions are just too strong to only sing about how you feel, and my god this whole dream, Broadway makes me feel like singing and dancing every single day for the rest of my life! So thank you, everyone who made this possible, I'm sure I've forgotten a tonne of people but I'll thank you in person," she said before going backstage to prep for The Big Finish.

As she was getting changed into her costume it was announced that Hit List had won Best Musical and Karen ran out into the wings as everyone climbed up on the stage and then she joined them. Thank Yous were said all around and then it was time for Karen and Ivy's performance. The two entered the stage with big beaming smiles on their faces. They danced and sang quite normally then Karen felt herself lose her footing as she felt the room spinning as she fell to the floor.

"Karen? Karen?" she heard Ivy's voice, it seemed soft. Suddenly there were several people crowding around her and Derek had to push past to see what was wrong with his girlfriend. There was blood coming from her head where it had hit the floor. Derek picked her up in his arms and carried her backstage as several people dialled for an ambulance.

"Karen? Can you hear me?" he said softly and worriedly.

She blinked a few times before saying "Yeah, did I scare the dark lord?"

He laughed slightly before saying "Oh thank god, don't you ever do anything like that to me, ever again!"

"Well I can't help that, now can I?"


	20. The Recovery

_**A/N – I realise that I left the last chapter on a bit of a cliff-hanger so this chapter is sort of a resolution to that. Thanks again for all of the kind reviews although I would love some constructive criticism so that I know how I could make my writing better.**_

It was decided that Karen would be taken to the hospital to find out exactly why she'd collapsed. She'd argued the toss saying that she was fine and if she could just get the cut on her head looked at then she would be good to go but no-one was letting up. In the end it took a combination of Derek, Ivy and Julia to persuade Karen to go and find out what was wrong.

She and Derek sat in the emergency room at NYU Medical Centre waiting for a doctor to see to her. Dr Robinson, the same blonde doctor who'd been in charge of Karen's case after the accident, walked into the emergency room and said "Miss Cartwright, what am I going to do with you? Another head injury!"

"Yeah well hopefully this one's only minor," Karen replied with a slight laugh.

"How exactly did this one happen?" asked Doctor Robinson with raised eyebrows.

"I fainted on stage and bashed my head against some stairs," was the reply as the curvaceous doctor took a look at the cut.

"Well, you're going to need a few stitches and I also want to run a few tests to find out why you fainted, those results may take a few days to come back so until then I want you to rest and take it easy," the blonde ordered before beginning to work on the laceration on Karen's head.

Karen winced and tightened her grip on Derek's hand, which she'd been holding the entire time, as her face was injected with an anaesthetic. Then the doctor began to stitch up the cut and soon it was time for the blood tests.

Once again Karen gripped tightly onto Derek's hand as she winced, "Look at me, everything will be fine," he told her feeling himself melt slightly as her chocolate brown eyes met his emerald green ones.

"What if something is majorly wrong and I have to quit Broadway?" Karen asked sounding ever-so-slightly paranoid.

"Then I'll still love you, I told you the other week, no matter what happens, whatever decision you make I'll always love you," he told her dotingly.

"Really?"

"I meant what I said in that speech, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you," and with that confession the conversation ended as Karen reached out to him with her free hand to stroke his cheek, he leaned in to her and he pressed his lips to hers, feeling the softness of her lips, smelling the scent of Coco Chanel perfume that wafted off of her neck and then he began to run his fingers through the soft curls of her hair, the whole world seemed to stop for a few moments as these two lovers felt the weight of the world lift off of their shoulders for a while.

The moment was then ruined by a phone call, it was Karen's phone. The pair came up for air, long enough to notice the phone; Karen checked to see who could be phoning at such an inopportune moment. "Crap! It's my parents!" she exclaimed before answering "Hey mom, dad," Karen said with a sigh.

"Karen, are you okay? We just watched the Tonys, congratulations by the way, what happened?" Elizabeth asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, I just fainted is all, I cut my head and the doctors are running some tests to see what's up, okay?" Karen said reassuring her parents was a hard task and by god did she know it.

"Tests? What kind of tests? Do you want us to come to New York?" Elizabeth continued in her worried voice.

"They're just some basic blood tests to check for an iron deficiency and things like that, I'll be fine you really don't have to come to New York," Karen said hurriedly.

"Are you sure? Because we could be there within a few hours," Elizabeth wanted to make sure her daughter would be fine.

"I'll be fine and even if I'm not Derek's here," Karen's reply seemed to reassure her mother enough and the phone conversation soon ended.

As promised, it took a few days for the test results to come back and for Karen to discover that she had an iron deficiency which had caused her to faint on stage. She was prescribed with an iron supplement and was back to work on Hit List.

She only had another two months left on her contract and she'd decided that after it ended she would begin work on Julia's adaptation of the Great Gatsby, playing Daisy Buchanan. Derek had already agreed to direct the play so half of the original group from Bombshell was already on board.

Now all Karen had to worry about was Jimmy's trial. There were just under two weeks until the trial and Karen had met with the lawyer twice. Derek, who'd also been asked to testify, had been with Karen for each meeting, and, much to Karen's chagrin had submitted the tape of their meeting with Jimmy just after the accident as evidence. Karen may not have been vindictive but Derek could be.


	21. The Trial, Part One

_**A/N – I had to laugh when I read one of the reviews for the previous chapter and people thought that Karen might be pregnant. I have to admit that as I was writing the chapter, the thought did pop into my mind and then I decided against adding it in at this stage of the game. I'm sure you guys will like this chapter, I'm sorry it took so long to upload I got kind of hooked on reading One for the Money by Janet Evanovich and so I didn't sit down and write for an entire day after I uploaded the last chapter.**_

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" asked the balding judge.

"I do," Karen said looking out into the crowd of people assembled for what had been labelled as Broadway's trial of the century by the press.

"Please be seated," the judge replied.

Bridget Edgecomb then proceeded to walk away from the desk at which she'd been sat. "Are you Miss Karen Natalie Cartwright, born to Roger Cartwright and Linda North, nee Kelly, in Des Moines, Iowa?"

"I am," Karen confirmed.

"Well then we can proceed. How do you know the defendant, James Collins?" Bridget asked a note of confidence in her voice as she spoke.

"I dated him for a while," Karen said shyly.

"Can you define what you mean by a while?"

"It's hard to define we were off and on for a large period in time, but the best amount of time I can date it to would be about two months," was Karen's reply to the very personal question.

"And who ended the relationship?" Bridget asked.

"I did," Karen replied before looking out across the crowd and towards the defendants table where Jimmy sat disturbingly still.

"Why did you end it Miss Cartwright? If you don't mind me asking," was the next overly personal question.

Karen began to look through the crowds to see if she could spot Derek's face, she found him, he was sat with Ana, Julia, Ivy and Sam who'd come as moral support; she allowed her eyes to meet his before answering the question "I ended the relationship because Jimmy started coming round to my apartment when he was both drunk and high and when I called him out on it he would beat me. There were a few times when I would have to lie about what had happened the previous night to friends and colleagues of mine," she explained "I couldn't take it, so I ended it,"

The courtroom began to erupt with noise, with members of the assembled public shouting that Jimmy was guilty based on that statement alone. "Order! Order!" shouted the judge as he hammered the gavel before everyone quietened down, "Thank you, please continue with the questioning Ms Edgecomb,"

"Thank you, your honour. Miss Cartwright, did you have any contact with the defendant after your relationship ended?"

"Yes, we worked together, so we had to," Karen replied feeling a tear rolling down her cheek, knowing the question that was about to be asked next.

"Did James ever try and make contact with you in any other way?" Bridget asked.

"Yes, he did,"

"Can you explain to the jury what you mean by that?" Bridget was delving further into Karen's nightmare that had been the few weeks before the accident.

"One night, about a week before the accident, I was rehearsing late at the Manhattan Theatre Workshop and Jimmy walked in, he was high and angry at something, anyway so he pushed me against the wall and started to try and rape me. I tried to get him off me but it didn't work," Karen said as she sobbed. It was a difficult thing to relive; the only people who'd actually known about the entire event until this point were Karen, Derek and Jimmy.

"Your honour I object! This is a case for attempted murder, as far as I know Mr Collins isn't on rape charges as well," exclaimed Jimmy's lawyer, who was quite clearly doing it as a Pro bono case.

"I'll allow it,"

"Can you tell us what you remember from the night of the accident Miss Cartwright?"

"I can remember walking out of a bar, phoning a number, I can't quite remember who it was and then the last thing I remember was stepping off of the pavement," Karen said, she didn't want to reveal why she'd left the bar or who she'd phoned, that was something that she wanted to keep secret for a while. "Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital the next morning," she continued as she searched the crowd for Derek once again. Her eyes locked on his and she immediately began to feel comfortable again.

"What injuries did you sustain? Do you remember exactly?" this was a question that Karen could answer with complete confidence, she could still remember Doctor Robinson running down the long list in those first few hours that she'd been awake.

"Three fractured ribs, a collapsed lung, my right leg was broken in two places and my right arm was broken as well as a concussion," Karen said, she could have also rattled off the lists of pain medications that her doctors had put her on but it wasn't a necessity.

"Thank you Miss Cartwright, that is all," Bridget told her before stepping aside to allow the defence lawyer to stand.

"Miss Cartwright, can I ask you what you do for a living?" asked Jimmy's lawyer, the bronze nameplate that sat on the desk told Karen that his name was Richard Black. He wore a suit that was clearly Armani and he was clean-shaven with black hair and dark eyes.

"I'm an actress," she replied, trying not to smile as she said it.

"And how long have you been in a relationship with Mr Derek Wills?" the question was asked in an impertinent and brazen way so that Karen was caught off guard by the question.

"Since about one week after the accident," Karen said ever so slightly thrown by the question.

"Objection what does this have to do with the case? Last time I checked this was a case for attempted murder not an episode of E News!" came Bridget's voice and Karen had never been so thankful for it in all the time she'd known the lawyer.

"Sustained!" shouted the judge, "I find it hard to believe that Miss Carwright's personal life after the accident is of relevance to this case. Now if you have any questions that don't involve that particular subject then you can move on Mr Black,"

"Thank you Your Honour," Bridget said from behind her oak desk.

"Miss Cartwright, you insisted that my client used to hit you if you angered him when he was drunk or high, what exact kind of hitting would be involved?"

Karen stared blankly, she hadn't been prepared for this question "It would normally be either a punch or a slap," she said feeling, red-hot tears leaking out of the corner of her right eye as she relived the last time she'd been hit by Jimmy in her mind.

"Do you have any witnesses to this alleged act of violence?" asked Black in a rude manner and Karen felt her jaw drop, the fact that he would imply that the attacks on Karen's person may not have happened was appalling.

"Your honour I find it to be rather impertinent to imply such a thing. It is not Mr Black's job to pass judgement on whether or not Miss Cartwright was the victim of physical violence inflicted by Mr Collins," Bridget said.

"I'll allow it, Miss Cartwright is there anyone who can back you up on these incidences?" asked the judge.

Karen looked to find Ana, the one person who had bared witness to the events. Ana nodded her approval, she knew exactly what Jimmy had done to Karen and she'd seen her friend retreat inside herself because of Jimmy. Ana was quite willing to help see the man locked up and hoped that they would throw away the key.

"My roommate at the time, Ana Vargas," Karen confirmed.

"You claim that Mr Collins raped you, what proof do you have to support that claim?" Karen began to look helplessly and panicked out at the crowd and towards the jury, the judge, anyone who could possibly help her. She then heard herself begin to sob as tears flooded her eyes making her view misty and blurry.

Derek stood up, he wanted to hold her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay but felt himself being pulled back into his seat by Ana and Julia "If you make a scene they can hold you in contempt," Julia told her friend, she was right and he didn't like the sound of being held in a cell for a night whilst Karen stayed home alone. He caught Jimmy's eye as he sat down, the younger man looked like he might burst into laughter at Karen's pain.

"I think we should take end the session for the day and begin again tomorrow, Mr Black can I please speak to you?" the judge asked politely.

Karen stepped down from the witness box and onto the courtroom floor; she just wanted to go home. She walked towards where Derek, Ana, Julia, Ivy and Sam were sat. Up until that point only Derek and Ana had known about the full extent of what had happened between Karen and Jimmy and she found herself being hugged by her Broadway family. She smiled for a few seconds before tears started to fall again, noticing this Derek wrapped his hand with hers and she began to feel instant comfort. They walked out of the courtroom, into the foyer and out to a taxi.

When they reached Karen and Derek's apartment Karen walked in, sat down on the couch and burst into tears once again. Instinctively, Derek wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in a hug that felt like a mini force-field around her. In Derek's arms she felt safe and as he kissed her forehead she knew in an instant that he wasn't going anywhere soon. "I don't think you can perform tonight," Derek told her.

"But I have to…" she was silenced by Derek's lips attaching themselves to hers.

"It's no longer a suggestion, Julia can you call Jerry and explain, you might also want to mention that I won't be coming in tonight either," Derek said.

"B-but," Karen stuttered.

"Darling, you've been in court for the majority of the day, I saw the look in your eyes as you struggled to answer those questions, you relived every single thing that bastard did to you in your mind today, you need rest and a night off," he explained before kissing her forehead again.


	22. The Trial, Part Two

_**A/N – Okay so here's Part Two of The Trial, I felt it needed to be done in two parts because of it being such a massive event within this version of Karen and Derek's romance. I'll just add that I am basing the legal jargon off of what I've seen on TV because I've never actually been to a trial or seen the inside of a courtroom so if I've gotten anything wrong then if you could politely tell me, via review or private message (I really don't mind which), that'd be great. Thanks.**_

Karen was once again on the witness stand the next morning and she felt as though she was being scrutinized to the enth degree by the lawyer who stood before her. She was uncomfortable as Richard Black undressed her with his eyes as she came in and sat down and as much as she wanted to run for the hills she couldn't, she now wanted to see Jimmy in prison for what he'd put her through and if sitting and telling all of the sordid details of their affair to a room filled with strangers whilst his lawyer gave her perverted looks was what it would take then so be it.

Karen noticed how Jimmy laughed on the inside, his eyes being the tell-tale sign, at each and every time she began to cry as she thought of what he'd done to her and she'd noticed the daggers that Derek had given him as he'd entered the courtroom, the thought of that made her smile, the fact that he was looking out for her, it was a small comfort in a place where there didn't seem to be any comforts except from the friends who'd arrived to show their support. This time, along with Ivy, Julia and Sam, Tom, Jessica and Sue had decided to go as well, Ana was the next witness to take the stand and so wasn't able to watch but the sentiment was felt. It was nice to have the entirety of Karen's Broadway family there to watch and support her.

"Miss Cartwright, do you know if there might be any physical proof of Mr Collins' alleged sexual attack on your person?" Black asked but this time it sounded as though he was concerned about the young woman.

'He's a hell of an actor' Karen thought to herself before answering "I honestly don't know," she said as calmly as she possibly could although her voice was shaking. The papers were going to have a field day; the court caricaturists had produced some rather unflattering pictures for the New York Times the previous day. The headlines had read 'Tony Winners' Court Crying Jag' and other such unattractive titles. Today Karen had decided that she was going to remain as strong as humanly possible.

"Thank you Miss Cartwright, I have to ask, why didn't you come to the police with these claims?" Black's audacity was unbelievable but Karen wasn't about to let it get to her.

"Because, my association with your client still continued, under professional circumstances, and after the attack he told me that _if _I did tell the police then he would, as he put it, cut me up," Karen said with a degree of displeasure.

"So you mean to tell me that because my client threatened you, you made the decision to not go to the police over the matter?"

"Yes, I felt that if I went to the police then my safety and the safety of those around me, would be put in jeopardy," Karen said, scanning the room for Derek's face as she said it. She found it and noticed the shock register on his face. She'd never confided that part to Derek and she was now beginning to wish that she'd told him about the situation before the accident, he'd have attempted to protect her, she knew that now, but at the time things were so unclear between them.

"Is there anyone who can confirm that?" Black's impertinence was back with a vengeance.

The Judge stepped in before Karen could answer the question "Mr Black, your impertinence in your manner of addressing this very brave young woman continues to astound me, if you are going to continue to ask such insensitive and tactless questions of the _victim _then we will move onto the next witness," Karen hadn't been so thankful to anyone in her life "Miss Cartwright, you may leave the stand," and with that Karen left the witness stand and took her seat next to Derek. She sat bolt upright as Ana took to the witness stand.

Ana confirmed what Karen had said the previous day and then went onto explain how erratic Jimmy's behaviour was on a day-to-day basis. After that court was out for the rest of the day and Jessica, once again, understudied for Karen as she and Derek spent a quiet evening together with a home cooked meal courtesy of Derek. They then proceeded to go to bed and fell asleep with Karen feeling comfortable and secure in Derek's arms.

The next day of court was the last before closing statements and Derek had become the prosecution's secret weapon, not that they needed him. For all his fancy suits and titles, Richard Black was the opposite of the kind of lawyer that Jimmy needed, he was suave but he was also a bastard and he made it well known. The case had become one of whether Jimmy could knowingly and willingly attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend rather than one that proved that he did it, the proof for _that _was already there courtesy of Officer Taylor's team at NYPD.

As Derek sat at the witness stand after being sworn in he was ready and raring for a fight. First it was Bridget who questioned him "Mr Wills, you were the defendant's director when he was working on Hit List, what was he like as a performer?"

"He was talented, I'll give him that, but his behaviour was erratic, he was unwilling to co-operate should an idea be put forward that he disagreed with, he was rarely ever willing to work hard and he was unreliable at the best of times,"

"You bore witness to Mr Collins' treatment of Miss Cartwright when they were together what did you see of that?"

"He was possessive of Karen, it seemed as though he saw her as an object rather than a person," he knew he'd hit the nail on the head when Jimmy glared at him. The look in Jimmy's eyes was murderous; you could cut the tension between the two men with a knife.

"Why would you say that?" Bridget asked intrigued.

"If the pair weren't performing or rehearsing he'd keep her at arm's length, if you wanted to correct Karen's performance you had to tell her you couldn't show her without Jimmy yelling at you over the fact that you were too close to _his _girl. Karen was never allowed to be just Karen he practically forced her to be with him at all times. If she tried to talk to another man, outside of a professional capacity, he would grab her wrist and drag her back," he said honestly.

"Have you ever attempted to be friends with Mr Collins?" this was a question that had appeared out of the blue.

"I attempted it yes, I even leant him $8000," Derek replied.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I caught him trying to steal something and the only way I could see of stopping him, he said he'd stolen that much money from his dealer and I decided I was going to help the lad out, so I did, simple as that," Derek explained.

That was it, the jury was sold, but Jimmy's attorney decided to pick apart Derek's flaws, pointing out that Derek had a history with women, the judge didn't like the sound of Richard Black's defence for his client. "Claiming that a witness cannot be trusted based on his personal life alone is not evidentiary support to count for your case Mr Black, now if that's all you have to say court is adjourned for the day, we will return again tomorrow for closing statements and then the jury will make their decision," and with that everyone began to file out of their seats. Karen stood up in her seat, joined by Julia, Tom, Ana, Ivy and Sam. Derek walked towards his girlfriend, picked her up and whirled her around as Jimmy was returned to the prison and the lawyer, whose reputation was being soiled each day of the trial, closed his suitcase and gave Derek a vicious stare.


	23. The Showing

_**A/N – Okay so I've passed 10,000 views of the story and last time I checked the story had 48 followers, so I'm very excited at that one. Your reviews are greatly appreciated and so this chapter is dedicated to everyone who has continued reading my little Cartwills fanfiction.**_

The jury had been told to take their time with making the decision as to whether to convict Jimmy of attempted murder. Entertainment journalists sat at their desks with bated breath. After the tape of Jimmy's admission to everything that he'd done to Karen was heard, the case seemed pretty open and shut. Instead of having closing statements on the day they were supposed to have, Richard Black had sprung the decision to have Jimmy up to the witness stand and Jimmy had vehemently denied everything but the evidence was damning and everyone knew it. The entirety of Karen's Broadway family, including extended relatives like Veronica Moore and Eileen Rand, were sat in a café around the corner waiting to hear whether or not the jury had made their decision. Bridget had promised that she'd phone them when the jury came back into the court.

Karen sat playing with the salad on the plate in front of her, she was entertaining the thought that Jimmy might be set free and it frightened her. Derek looked at her from across the table, nothing but love and worry in his eyes. Over the week that the trial had lasted, Karen hadn't been the same happy young girl he'd known and loved, it was almost as if she'd turned into a much younger version of herself who cried at almost everything. He knew exactly what the signs showed; even a monkey could see the signs of depression in her. He wanted to prevent her from making any rash decisions but it was difficult. She practically refused to eat anything in front of her, she showed no interest in anything at all, not even Broadway. She barely slept at night, her face was permanently pale, she'd lost noticeable amounts of weight and she couldn't concentrate for long periods in time. Derek knew exactly what had triggered these symptoms but confronting his once happy girlfriend about it was going to be difficult. He also knew what Karen's sister had done and he felt that the only people who may be able to help were in Des Moines, Iowa.

Derek's thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. He checked the caller ID and noticed that it was Bridget; he picked up and was told that the jury had made their decision. Hanging up the phone he told everyone that they needed to make their way back to the court. As everyone began to file out of the little café, Derek entwined his fingers with Karen's and she smiled timidly before going back to the frown that she'd held on her face since the trial began. They made their way to the court, hand in hand, with Derek looking at her every so often to make sure she was alright, her face told her she wasn't.

When they got into the court, it was packed, with journalists who'd come to report on the circus that was Jimmy Collins' trial. Everyone watched with bated breath as the jury walked in, Jimmy had turned to see Karen sat next to Derek and his eyes shot daggers at the older man. The judge cleared his throat and asked the jury what they judged Jimmy to be.

The foreman of the jury stood up and said with a clear voice "We, the jury, find Mr James Collins guilty of attempted murder," a wave of whispers ran over the assembled crowd. When asked what punishment they felt required the foreman replied "We find that Mr Collins should be sentenced to twenty years imprisonment," another wave of whispers ran over the crowd.

"Mr James Collins, I hereby sentence you to twenty years in prison," the crowd began to erupt in noise and Karen was soon hugged by each of her friends assembled in the courtroom and she began to feel overwhelmed. Tears leaked out of her eyes as Jimmy's lawyer walked towards the small group.

"I suppose you're really happy with yourselves," Richard Black told them viciously, "You lot have just ruined my career with your fake claims and even faker tears," he continued.

"I'm sorry?" Ana asked ever so slightly confused.

"I'm sure that you'll be able to get another case defending a rapist drug abuser," Ivy told the lawyer with a bit of a laugh, summoning a large degree of courage as she did so.

"You've got some nerve making claims like that about my client," was Black's malicious reply.

"And you've got some nerve claiming that my girlfriend would be so cruel as to make false claims about your client's abuse of her!" Derek shouted before feeling himself forced off of his feet by an unexpected punch.

Derek then took it upon himself to return the favour, punching the lawyer square on his jaw. Richard then tackled the director to the floor before being lifted up off the floor by Tom and Sam as Ana and Karen helped Derek up onto his feet. Black dusted himself off and walked out of the room. Derek looked to each of his friends and put his hands around Karen's waist pulling her in for a kiss.

When they got home, Derek decided that he was going to talk to Karen about her behaviour from the past few days seeing as everyone had gone their separate ways. "Love can we talk?" he asked carefully.

"Sure, what about?" she asked with no interest whatsoever.

"Look I'm concerned about you, you've been distant lately you're not the same anymore, I haven't seen you laugh in a week and quite frankly it's scaring me," he said his voice full of worry, love and fear and his eyes repeated the same feeling.

"Okay," she said suspiciously. It was the first time she'd shown any feeling since her crying jag in the court.

"There's a doctor who I think you should see, he's very good, specialises in this sort of thing," Derek told her, knowing he would have to reveal another truth about himself.

"How would you know?" she asked.

_Flashback, 2001_

_The office of Dr Robert Spencer was very clean and beige. That was the first thing Derek noticed as he sat down on the beige leather sofa opposite his new psychiatrist. Derek's family, his mother, Emmeline, and his brother and sister more to the point, had insisted he go._

_It had only been a month since Nicola's death and he missed her dearly every day. Why the hell shouldn't he grieve for his only child? He'd asked them exactly that question but his mother's reply still rang in his head "Yes but this? The constant drinking, you haven't left you apartment since the funeral, and I know from the smell of this place that you haven't showered since then either. It's not normal, you need help,"_

_Nicola had died when her mother's car had careered off the road and off the side of a cliff in California. He'd been told that Charlene, his ex-girlfriend and Nicola's mother, was drunk at the time of the accident, which was no consolation. He still remembered his darling little girl fondly, her curly strawberry blonde hair, the big beaming smile she always had, her infectious laugh and her skin that was as white as snow._

_So here he was in the office of a psychiatrist, who was supposedly the best in New York (the jury was still out on that one for Derek), and the first question out of this man's mouth was "What's been happening in your life lately Derek?"_

'_Wow what a loaded question,' Derek thought to himself before answering "Well, my father and I aren't speaking, my four-year-old daughter died about a month ago, my best mate isn't speaking to me, not to mention the fact that I can't seem to get work for love nor money. So you could say that my life is pretty crap," _

'_Since when did I pour his feelings out to the first person I meet?' he asked himself._

_Within the space of a week of daily visits Derek was feeling better, happier, but still grieving._

"Wow, I-I never knew," Karen said quietly. It was beginning to dawn on her how little she knew about this man she'd fallen for; she knew the version of him that had been her friend and she knew the reputation that preceded him but she really didn't know Derek Wills' past as it happened.

"I was going to tell you one day, I just couldn't find a time that seemed appropriate," he told her, "Love, go and see Dr Spencer, I'll go with you if you want, just a few visits, think of it as though you're auditioning him," he continued.

"Okay," she told him before allowing him to give her a massive big hug and a kiss on her forehead.


	24. The Birthday Party

_**A/N – I had completely forgotten how boring revision could be! I swear it shouldn't be this boring, is there a fun way? Because I sure as hell haven't found it! Oh well! One actual exam over two more to go and then there's the two workshops.**_

Derek had been right about Dr Spencer; she'd opened up to him about things very few people knew about, in fact several of those things the whole world now knew about, she'd poured her heart out, cried several times but now that everything was out-ish she felt an awful lot better. She'd been going to therapy for just on a month and she felt an awful lot better. She laughed at jokes again, she didn't feel like actually jumping off of the platform when she performed Amanda's almost suicide scene, she didn't feel an extreme sense of guilt whenever she was happy. Every little step she'd shown had been seen by everyone who really, truly knew her, especially Derek.

She had two weeks left of her run with Hit List and then she'd be out of work for a few months whilst Julia finished writing and then Derek and Julia would audition actors for the stage adaptation of the Great Gatsby. Julia had leapt at the chance to give Karen the character of Daisy and Ana had been given the role of Jordan Baker. Then there was Tom Buchanan who had been offered to Steve Kasee and the very talented actor had accepted, but characters like Nick Carraway, Jay Gatsby, Myrtle Wilson, George Wilson and Meyer Wolfsheim were yet to be cast.

Karen was excited and nervous to be leaving Hit List behind her, it felt as though she was leaving Jimmy behind her but it _was _her first Broadway musical and so it felt like by leaving she was forgetting all about it. She was leaving Amanda in Jessica's very capable hands and the Diva was going to go to Sue, who'd been made Ana's understudy, meaning that both actresses knew the parts that they'd originated were in capable hands.

The day of Karen and Ana's last performance of Hit List was also on Karen's birthday and she was sure that everyone had forgotten it. No-one had said a single word about it 'Mind you it is Broadway, everyone's probably worried about the show,' Karen thought to herself before stepping out on the stage for the final act.

The final notes of The Goodbye Song played and Karen left the stage before having to rush back onto it for the final bows that she would ever take for playing Amanda and as she took her final bow she felt tears seep from her eyes, making her thank god that her mascara was both heat-proof and water-proof. She felt Sam release her hand as Derek ran out onto the stage before he proceeded to take hold of her wrist and after they bowed he whispered in her ear "Happy Birthday love," and kissed her on the cheek which resulted in a chorus of 'awws' from both the audience and the cast.

Derek had to push Karen forward so that she could introduce the new Amanda "Wow! This is quite overwhelming, as I'm sure you all know this is my last show as the brilliantly written character that is Amanda, so I have the honour of introducing you to the new Amanda, my fabulous understudy and friend, Miss Jessica Foster!" she said, introducing the audience to one of the best friends she'd made whilst in New York.

After Ana had made her speech introducing Sue as the new Diva everyone returned to their respective dressing rooms. Karen walked in and suddenly realised that this was going to be the last time she'd ever get changed out of this very costume in this very room and she noticed a dress in a clear plastic dry cleaning bag hanging from the rack with all of her other costumes on it and attached to the dress was a note. She grabbed the note after draping the dress over the chair that sat by her mirror.

_You might want to change into this for my surprise later tonight, love Derek xxx_

Karen smiled at the note before taking the dress and putting on; she looked breath-taking in the dark Blue Matthew Williamson gown with a high up embellished round neckline that made her look like a Grecian goddess. She then proceeded to walk over to her mirror, removing the pictures of her parents, her friends from both Iowa and New York and the picture of her and Derek from Hit List's opening night. She placed the pictures in her handbag, the same one that she'd had since arriving in New York and turned around to leave the dressing room when she saw Derek.

"I see you like my present," he told her noticing that she was wearing the same diamond-encrusted love heart pendant that he'd given her on Hit List's opening night and he smiled.

"Thank you," she said as he brought out a little Tiffany blue box and a bouquet of Amaranth (for immortal love), Orchids (for refined beauty) and Primrose (for eternal love). He'd spent a good half hour with a florist before deciding on it and he was proud of the decision.

Shock registered on her face as she saw it "Relax Karen it's not a ring, I figured that you could do with a little something to match that dress," he said before handing it to her as she calmed down, she opened it and discovered the box contained a pair of silver diamond drop earrings, complete with five diamonds surrounded by silver and joined together by several chain links.

"They're gorgeous!" she exclaimed before putting them in her ears and giving her boyfriend a kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and said "Anything for my gorgeous girlfriend," complete with a smirk, making her giggle.

"So are you going to tell me where we're going?" she said suspiciously.

"Now that would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it?" he told her, before they turned to leave the dressing room for the last time. The room, with its red wallpaper, its mirror that was surrounded by lights, the costume rack that held every one of Amanda's costumes, the plush white carpeting had been a meeting place for Karen and Derek when they felt like they needed some time together away from the rest of the cast and crew. It had been the sight of many a kiss and hug and everything in between for the pair and Karen realised that she would miss it as she turned the light off and rested her head on Derek's shoulder.

When they left the dressing room Karen noticed that the cast had left, the entirety of the backstage section was empty "Derek, what's going on? No-one is here," she whispered nervously.

"You'll see soon enough," he told her with a smirk.

They entered the theatre foyer and Karen signed a few autographs for adoring fans as they left the building. It made Derek beam with pride and love to think that people saw Karen for what she truly was: A Star.

While Karen continued to sign autographs Derek opened the door to the black car that he'd ordered for the night, partly to avoid having to tell the driver where to go. Karen left the crowd of people and got into the car, waving to the people as she did so. Derek followed shortly after her and once the door was shut the driver drove to the Empire State Building. When they arrived, Karen looked up at the tall building that stood before her, lit up in her three favourite colours: Purple, Pink and Blue. "D-did you do this?" she asked Derek.

"Maybe," he said accepting the kiss he received afterwards "Why don't we go inside," he told her, gesturing towards the doors. They went upstairs in the elevators, Karen staying silent, still shocked at what she'd already seen of her surprise. The elevator doors opened slowly to reveal a dark room that suddenly lit up.

"Surprise!" she heard from all corners of the room and her jaw dropped as she saw Marlena, Lisa, Amy, Julia, Jessica, Ivy, Ana, Bobby, Dennis, Sue, Veronica Moore, Tom, her parents and Eileen as she scanned the room.

"Oh my god!" Karen exclaimed when she finally found her voice; she turned to Derek and asked "Did you plan all of this?"

"With a little help from your parents and friends," he told her, "Now our lovely friends have decided to perform for us, so shall we let them?" and before he could finish the question Tom had already gotten up to the piano and began playing a version of the Black Eyed Peas' I Gotta Feeling, which Ivy, Jessica and Bobby ran up on the stage to sing.

After two hours of singing and dancing, including a rendition of Redneck Woman which Marlena, Lisa and Amy dragged Karen up onto the stage to sing, the music began to slow down and Karen took the opportunity to stand outside on the balcony for a few moments. Derek followed after her. She was looking out at the gorgeous New York skyline as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Karen quickly turned around to see who it was and when she saw Derek she hugged him. At that moment a well-timed rendition of Elton John's Your Song began.

_It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside_

_I'm not one of those who can easily hide_

_I know it's not much but it's the best I can do_

_My gift is my song and this one's for you._

"Karen," Derek said lovingly before reaching into his jacket pocket.

"Yeah," she replied suspiciously. He took out a small Tiffany blue ring box and watched her jaw drop.

_And you can tell everybody, this is your song_

_It may be quite simple but now that it's done_

_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind_

_That I put down in words, how wonderful life is, _

_While you're in the world._

Derek got down on one knee before saying "I love you, more than anything else in the world. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, I love everything about you, your smile, your eyes and your laugh, everything about you and so I was wondering…" he opened the box to reveal a Platinum ring with a single cushion shaped diamond, surrounded by two outer layers of smaller diamonds "Will you marry me?"

"Yes, a thousand times yes," Karen told her boyfriend with a smile before he gently placed the ring on her ring finger, then allowing her to place her hands on his face and bring it to hers so that she could kiss him.

_And you can tell everybody this is your song_

_It may be quite simple but now that it's done_

_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind_

_That I put down in words, how wonderful life is_

_While you're in the world._

The pair walked back into the party, with big beaming smiles "Did you ask her? Did she say yes?" Ana asked excitedly. Karen's beaming smile and the ring on her finger answered the question, fully and completely and she felt herself being hugged by every single person she knew.


	25. The Trip

_**A/N – So I hear you all liked my last chapter, I have to admit after I wrote and uploaded the chapter even I was screaming with happiness and when I told my best friend about the last chapter she freaked out, it was awesome!**_

As a birthday present Karen's parents had paid for two first class tickets to London and so the day after her birthday party Karen and Derek had begun packing for their two week trip. It was the most excited Karen had been about a trip overseas, although she wasn't looking forward to the flight itself. As she packed, Karen would pick something up and in looking at it she'd look at the hand with her engagement ring on it and immediately smile.

The next day the pair sat in the first class lounge at JFK as they waited for their plane to arrive at the airport when Derek brought up the wedding asking "So have you given a thought as to which city we'll get married in?"

Karen laughed "I don't know, when I was a kid I used to think that I'd get married in Des Moines but now I call New York home so…" she trailed off as the call to go to the gate rang over the conversation.

When they finally sat down in their seats Derek could see Karen's nerves, he remembered the last time the pair had been on a plane "Love, it's going to be fine," he said as he gently drew circles on her hand with his finger.

"Anything could happen, the plane could crash, and then we could be so badly injured that we'll never make any money and you'll leave me, and… and…" she said her voice trembling with a combination of fear and paranoia.

"Look at me Karen," Derek replied before continuing "Statistically, you're more likely to be killed by a terrorist than in a plane crash, and if you're worried about me leaving you it's not going to happen. I love you Karen and I'm not leaving," as he said those final words his fiancé started to calm down, knowing that Derek wouldn't leave her was comfort enough. As the plane started taking off she dug her nails into the armrests that were on both sides to the point where her knuckles went completely white until she felt Derek once again gently drawing circles on the back of her hand with his finger, completely relaxing her.

Seven hours later the plane arrived at Heathrow Airport and when Derek and Karen walked through the arrivals gate they were greeted by Derek's mother, Emmeline Ramsay. She beamed as she saw her son and his fiancé walk through the arrivals gate hand in hand.

"Mum?" Derek said with a mix of shock and joy in his voice.

"It's nice to see you too Derek," she said before turning to Karen "You must be Karen, it's lovely to finally meet you in person," Emmeline smiled.

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you to," Karen said with a slight blush "I was slightly nervous to meet you because your son seems to adore you,"

Karen's soon-to-be mother-in-law laughed "Well from what I've heard he adores you so we've got something in common there,"

Derek looked on in wonder; two of the three women he loved most in the world were getting along. He hadn't really been worried about the meeting in itself; he knew that there wasn't a single person in the world who couldn't love Karen and there wasn't a single person he knew that disliked his mother.

When Karen and Derek arrived at his childhood home, Karen found herself immersed in the beauty of the place. From the outside it looked like it could rival Pemberley, the house was less of a house and more of an estate but still gorgeous all the same. Its oak doors reached about 8 foot high and the walls surrounding it were covered in Ivy that had been pruned to make the front of the house look like something out of a picturesque fairy tale. As she walked into the entrance hall, she looked up at the cream ceiling, noticing the detailed fleur-de-lis that surrounded each light, the walls were the same shade of cream as the ceiling but it was plain to draw attention to the ceiling. She imagined her fiancé running down the hallways and giggled to herself at the thought.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked with a smirk.

"Nothing, just imagining you prancing down these halls," she said with a smile, noticing the oak floor beneath her after she said it.

"I didn't prance," he said, feigning offense as they continued up to the stairs, and then onto their shared bedroom which held a plain queen size bed and was completely neat and tidy, just like the bedroom the couple shared at home. The pair put their bags on the bag and went back downstairs where Emmeline was waiting in the lounge.

"I thought I'd invite James and Sarah round for tea so they could meet Karen, but if you're too jetlagged then we could always rearrange," Emmeline told the pair.

"Nonsense, I'd love to meet James and Sarah plus I'm sure Derek would love to catch up with his older brother," Karen said with a kind smile "How's Grace? I haven't spoken to her since she got back from New York,"

"Well as far as I know Grace is fine, she's got a new boyfriend actually, she said that they'll be round for dinner tomorrow night,"

The small group talked for an hour or so until they heard a knock at the door which Emmeline answered. "Where are my little brother and his wonderful fiancé?" was the first sound that Karen and Derek heard as the door was answered. When James and his wife walked into the sitting room, Karen was surprised to discover that James Wills was an exact replica of his father, right down to the brown hair and blue eyes whereas Derek looked almost exactly like his mother. James' wife, Sarah, was a slender woman who looked to be about thirty-years-old with fiery red hair, blue eyes and legs that went on forever. James walked towards his soon-to-be sister-in-law and after kissing her hand, something she assumed was what all Wills men did with women "So, you're my soon to be sister-in-law?" he said in his deep British accent.

"I believe I am, now as Derek's older brother I'm sure you can tell me all sorts of embarrassing stories about him," she laughed and received a laugh in return. At that moment she noticed that her soon-to-be mother-in-law had gone noticeably pale "Emmeline, are you alright? You look really pale," Karen asked concernedly.

"I'm fine dear; I'll just go and get myself a glass of water. Does anyone want anything?" was the reply.

Not wanting to push Derek's mother Karen asked for a glass of lemonade and left the subject alone, although she was concerned; people didn't go pale all of a sudden for no apparent reason. Karen and Sarah exchanged a look of concern and worry but neither said anything.

Dinner came soon enough and Karen had learned an awful lot about her boyfriend's family. She now knew that James was an actor and had met Sarah after he'd broken his ankle and she'd been the surgical resident doing an orthopaedic rotation who was assigned to his case; that had been two years ago and Sarah was now a neurosurgeon. She'd also learned about Derek as a child, the time he'd been suspended from school for having a bottle of Scotch in his bag, something that didn't surprise Karen in the slightest, she now knew about how over-protective he'd been of his two younger sisters, particularly when it came to boyfriends.

The small party of five were about to sit down to a meal of Filet Mignon, with green beans and roast potatoes which Emmeline brought out; as she removed her chair she collapsed like a building when it's been hit with a wrecking ball. Karen, Sarah, Derek and James rushed to the side of the older woman. On instinct Sarah opened her mother-in-law's mouth and looked for blockages before checking her neck for a pulse, there wasn't one. She started compressions on the older woman's chest and called "Somebody call for an ambulance,"

James took his phone out of his jacket pocket and dialled 999; Derek couldn't do anything except stand by and watch "What do you want me to do?" Karen asked Sarah her voice didn't shake at all, Sarah stopped compressions and checked Emmeline's pulse once again, satisfied, she stopped compressions.

"Help me turn her onto her side," Sarah told her before the pair gently rolled Emmeline onto her left side, "Okay now I'm going to check her pulse again while I do that I need you to roll her top leg so it's at a right angle, then I want you to gently tilt her head back; can you do that for me?" Karen nodded and did as she was told as James continued to talk to the person on the other end of the 999 call. Derek found himself crying and needing to sit down as Karen and Sarah continued to work on his mother.

"An ambulance is coming, they should be here in about ten minutes," James announced as he got off the phone.

Sarah checked her mother-in-law's pulse and discovered that there wasn't a pulse "Karen can you help me roll her onto her back again?" she asked to which Karen nodded and after they'd done so Sarah asked "Karen, can you start compressions?"

"Umm…" Karen said, suddenly she was nervous and she didn't know why. She looked over to Derek and noticed that he was breathing heavily and rocking back and forward in a chair, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Sarah looked over to Derek and said "Actually why don't you go and grab a paper bag, Emmeline keeps a load in the kitchen and sit with Derek?"

This was a suggestion that Karen felt was an awful lot easier and so she did as she was told. She quickly ran into the kitchen and came back with a paper bag which she handed to her fiancé. She sat and stroked his back, hoping that it would comfort him. It wasn't and so she began doing the next thing she knew would comfort him, singing to him, softly.

_I remember tears stinging down your face_

_When I said I'd never let you go_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Don't you dare look out your window, darling,_

_Everything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on_

_Hold on to this lullaby_

_Even when music's gone_

_Gone_

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh_

_Just close your eyes_

_You'll be alright_

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound..._

_Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh oh oh_

By the time she'd finished, Derek had stopped rocking back and forward and was staring deep into her chocolate brown eyes. The paramedics arrived soon after and wheeled Emmeline into the ambulance on a stretcher. Sarah drove behind them with James, Karen and Derek also in the car. When they reached the hospital, Derek felt himself gulp: it was the same hospital he'd been taken to on the night of Anne's death. Karen saw his reaction and squeezed him tightly; she had an idea as to what he was going through. When they found Emmeline she had a tube down her throat and several doctors were working on her. One of the doctors, clearly an intern based on the doe-eyed expression in his face and the way Sarah had rolled her eyes at him, walked over to the group. "Are you Emmeline Ramsay's family?" he asked as though butter wouldn't melt.

"Yes," was Sarah's reply, "Can we see her?"

"Actually I need to talk to you somewhere away from here, would you follow me please?" he requested and the group followed. When they reached a beige room with a table and a few chairs set around it, they were instructed to go inside.

When everyone was seated, the doctor started to talk "Do you know why Emmeline passed out earlier?" the doctor asked, his voice was full of concern.

"She said earlier that she was fine, she'd gone completely pale but that she just needed a glass of water and she got one and drank it, why?" Karen said confused.

"Emmeline has lung cancer, according to her medical records it was diagnosed three months ago and she'd decided not to fight it," was the junior doctor's reply but all Derek had heard was "Emmeline has lung cancer," and the sound of the words kept ringing in his head as he found himself vomiting on the floor, the shock hit him.


	26. The Trip Part Two

_**A/N – Okay so I got an awful lot of reviews about how Derek was definitely going to need Karen and I love that I'm getting such amazing feedback on this story, I know I hadn't updated in a while before the last update and that was because of exams which as I'm sure many of you know are not fun at all and so as they're no longer on I figured I would spend the time I have in English, Business Studies and Tourism writing. As much as I love English, they **_**are **_**dictating what we write for creative writing and so I've decided that instead of writing what we're being forced to write I'm going to write fanfiction and then not hand in the piece.**_

"Emmeline has lung cancer, according to her medical records it was diagnosed three months ago and she'd decided not to fight it," was the junior doctor's reply but all Derek had heard was "Emmeline has lung cancer," and the sound of the words kept ringing in his head as he found himself vomiting on the floor, the shock hit him.

"H-how bad is it?" James asked the junior doctor who stood before the group as Karen held Derek close to her, dabbing at his chin with a tissue.

"They're intubating her now James; if she survives that she hasn't got long," Sarah told her husband gravely.

At that announcement Karen felt her jaw drop; Derek's mother might die, she'd seen the doctors intubating her but it hadn't clicked that the older woman may not live past that. She took a quick intake of breath and thought of her fiancé. She thought of how he'd react to losing his mother, one of the very few people in the world whom he truly adored and admired.

"When she was first diagnosed she was given six months to live, and as I've already told you that was three months ago now, I'd say that if, _if _she survives intubation she won't make it past the end of January. If I were you, I'd be preparing for the worst," the junior doctor told them.

Karen was once again stroking Derek's back as he rocked back and forth in his chair, eventually he stopped and Karen let him bury his head in her hair as he wept. She kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his soft hair. She'd never seen him cry like this before, ever, these tears were uncontrollable ones of a loss still to come. She wanted to help him in any way possible, she didn't want to let go of him until she knew that he would be okay.

"S-somebody needs to tell Grace, she n-needs to know," James said, looking more-so to his wife than to anyone else, he'd noticed the state of his brother and had seen that Karen was the only one who'd be able to comfort him.

"We'll call her together," Sarah told her husband, although her voice seemed calm her eyes said otherwise.

The junior doctor walked over to Karen, tapped her on the shoulder and asked "Do you want me to get your husband a sedative?" he was concerned by the sight.

"I think my fiancé will be fine," she said with a slight smile that wobbled as she stroked her fiancé's spine.

"Okay, I'll check on you guys in half an hour," she was told.

The two lovers sat quietly as Derek finally began to fall asleep, the entire day had tired him out and his head lay on Karen's lap, she stroked his hair lovingly as he slept wishing that the entire thing had been a dream. As she looked at his face she noticed that his eyes were red and puffy from crying and that for the first time since his mother had fallen unconscious he was peaceful.

When he woke up Derek thought the events of the previous day had been a terrible nightmare that kept replaying over and over in his mind. Then he saw James, his head on Sarah's shoulder and Karen, asleep, her head against the wall as she slept, he'd slept with his head in her lap for the entirety of the night. He didn't remember much of the previous night, only Sarah and Karen trying to resuscitate his mother and then the announcement that she had lung cancer when they'd reached the hospital and then the thought popped into his mind 'Why didn't she tell us?' his mother had never withheld things from her children. She'd been the one who would tell him the truth even when everyone else was lying to him. Why hadn't she told him about something as major as this? She'd known for three months and hadn't told him or James or Grace or Sarah, did anyone know? Then he remembered that the doctor had told them that Emmeline had only until January to live, and that was if she'd survived the night.

He moved his head so that he could sit up and continued to think everything through. 'Does Grace know yet?' if she didn't she'd likely kill him and if she did she'd be distraught. 'Is Mum still alive?' was the next thought that popped into his mind, it was a thought he didn't even want to consider, if she was dead, he didn't know what he'd do without his mother, without the only person he adored as much as Karen.

"Hey sleepyhead," he heard as the last thought ran from his mind, he turned to see who it was and discovered that it was Karen.

"Hey," he said trying to hide the emotion in his voice, he leant over and allowed his lips to capture hers and after they tore apart from each other he said "Thank you,"

"For what?" she said in a shocked voice.

"For being here, I don't know any other woman who would have stayed through this," he said throatily, still trying to hide any trace of sadness in his voice.

Karen looked into his green eyes, they were filled with sorrow and fear "Derek, I love you, I'd stay with you through anything, I'm not leaving you for anything, when I accepted your proposal the other day I meant it with every fibre of my being," she reassured him and at her comforting words he smiled for the first time in just over ten hours, she wasn't going to leave him willingly just like he wasn't going to willingly leave her, they were forever.

The junior doctor that had seen the group last night opened the door and walked into the room leading James and Sarah to wake up. "Emmeline is awake and responsive, I just need to go over a few things with you," he said the sombre tone of his voice wasn't helpful to anyone in the room.

They sat at the table where the news of Emmeline's illness had been announced and no-one in the room felt that they were going to receive good news.

"Before I give you this information can I ask what relationship you are to Emmeline you all are?" he said suspiciously. Karen gave the required information and then allowed the doctor to explain what he needed to "When Emmeline woke up she requested that we give her a Do Not Resuscitate order to sign, we had to give her the order but you need to know this in case something does happen to her," it was something that nobody, not one of them, wanted to hear and it pained Derek and James to think of the situation their mother had placed them in. "She has made it clear that if she should find herself on life support, Emmeline would like the four of you, plus Grace Wills to become executors of her will, in other words she wants you to make the decision as to whether the life support should be switched off or not and when," the doctor instructed them before handing each person several sheets of paper "I need for you to sign these forms which outline the procedures that will be taken in this case," he told them.

Karen looked at the sheets of paper, stapled together, on the table in front of her 'Derek's mother signed a DNR?" she thought to herself as she read the papers. The words jumped off the page at her as she read the lines in front of her. If she signed these pieces of paper, she'd be signing away the life of her future mother-in-law.

As she thought of these things, Karen noticed that Derek was crying once again. The loss of his mother would cause unforeseeable emotional damage to the man she knew and loved and she although she couldn't believe that his mother had put him in such a position Karen _could_ understand it. She reached over to her fiancé and wrapped him up in her arms. He breathed in her scent, a combination of Coco Chanel perfume and the laundry detergent, a smell that was heavenly to him. For the second time since their romance had begun, Karen was the strong one.

James and Sarah had just signed the papers when they noticed the little display, Sarah smiled at the sight. In all of the time she'd known her brother-in-law, she'd never thought anyone would be capable of caring for him in the way that saw that Karen was.

Derek couldn't bring himself to sign the papers; he couldn't bring himself to even consider such a thing. He'd felt himself begin to cry and was relieved when Karen had hugged him; it was as though her arms were sheltering him from the hurt he suffered. He felt as if his mother had betrayed him in not telling him what had happened and the only person who seemed able to shield him from his own feelings was Karen.

It was now that he understood why his mother had wanted Karen to be involved in the decision as to when the life support would be switched off, Karen was the one who'd hold his hand and help him, she was the one who'd hold his hand and help him, she was the one who'd never leave him, who could be rational with him, who would love him unconditionally and who would always put his feelings before her own.

Eventually, he brought himself to sign the papers and after he'd done that, realising that her fiancé was comfortable with the decision, so did Karen.

Finally they were able to see Emmeline who'd had the tube removed from her throat and was sat, propped up by several pillows, in a bed. Derek and Karen walked into the room first, which had been limited to two visitors at any one time. Underneath Derek's eyes were red and puffy and his eyes themselves were bloodshot.

No-one really knew what to say, and so Emmeline began the conversation "Have either of you given any thought to wedding plans?" she asked calmly as she tried to hide the weakness that was still apparent in her voice.

Karen was about to talk but then she heard Derek angrily say "For god's sake Mum, quit trying to avoid the elephant in the room. You have lung cancer and didn't think to tell anybody?" his voice wavered slightly as he said it. Saying it out loud just seemed to confirm the fact that his mother was in fact sick.

"Derek!" Karen exclaimed, she knew her fiancé was annoyed with his mother, she would be too if she were in his place, but there was no real excuse for saying such a thing.

"No Karen, he's right. I'm sorry son I should've told you, but I knew you'd try and get me fight this thing and I don't want to. I've served my purpose in life, I've raised three wonderful children, I've been able to travel the world, I've loved and I've lost. I've seen what this terrible, _terrible _disease does to people and I know that chemotherapy and radiation therapy hurt. I know that by doing what I've done I've put you through an awful lot of pain, Derek, but I know that by trying to fight this and having you see me go through the pain of all those treatments it will hurt you an awful lot more. I'm not afraid of death, I would like to prolong the process a bit but I can't and as much as I'd love to see you have children of your own and to see you marry Karen but I can't as much as I want to," she said as tears fell down her face.


	27. The Surprise

_**A/N – I know I haven't written in a while but I had a terrible case of writer's block for this chapter and so it took me an awful lot longer to write than it normally would.**_

On the day Emmeline left St. Thomas' Hospital, the English weather was out in full force. The rain was light and the breeze was cool, typical for a November's day in London. Derek slowly wheeled his mother out of the automatic sliding doors "Where's Karen?" Emmeline asked her son, knowing now how strange it was to see him without the bubbly brunette by his side.

"You'll see mum," he told her, smiling as he remembered back to the conversation that he and Karen had, had a week previously.

_Flashback, a Week Previously_

"_I was thinking; why don't we get married over here, in a registry office? You know, so your mum can see," Karen calmly told her fiancé as they lay on the bed in Derek's bedroom on the unusually cold autumn night._

_Derek looked into her chocolate brown eyes "Really, you'd do that?" he asked, knowing that Karen had dreamed of a big wedding since she was a little girl and the fact that she'd give it all up was amazing._

"_I saw the look of sadness your mum had in her eyes when she said she wanted to see you get married and anyway I wouldn't care if we got married on a post-it note whilst I wear a trash bag, or if we get married in a church with me wearing a big white poofy dress, the point is I love you and I don't care where or when I get married so long as I get married to you," she told her fiancé, her voice was sincere and her face had a smile plastered across it. The speech made Derek Wills', the dark lord of theatre, heart melt._

"_Okay, but when we get back to New York, or go to Iowa, whichever you prefer, you are going to get the big white wedding," he told her._

"_But I don't see the point in it, I'll already be married to you," she whined._

"_Yes, but if you don't have one, your mother will most likely most likely kill me," he said with a smirk before he pressed his lips to hers._

Present Day, 25th November 2013

"Derek, why are we parked outside a registry office?" Emmeline asked her son; she was getting suspicious and hated not knowing what was going on; in fact it was the bane of her life.

"You'll see, okay mum?" he said as he got out of the car before walking around it and opening the door to his mother's side of the car just as a chauffeur would do "Now if you keep asking questions you'll ruin the surprise,"

"Okay, where's Karen by the way?" she replied, thinking that the change of tactic might work on her son.

Derek knew exactly where Karen was, on the way from James and Sarah's house where she'd gotten ready, James and Sarah were the only people who knew about the wedding and it had seemed better that only a small handful of people knew.

Derek led his mother into the foyer of the registry office where they waited for about half an hour.

When Karen walked into the foyer she looked every bit the radiant bride in her knee-length strapless dress which was as white as snow. Her smile shined like a star in the sky as she hugged her future mother-in-law and Derek's rare smile matched it in every way.

The small family of five walked into the small room dedicated to weddings and sat down on the chairs set up for such an event. "Karen Cartwright and Derek Wills?" a short, female minister with short dishwater blonde hair said as she walked into the room.

"Yes," Derek said as he and Karen stood up and moved towards the front of the room.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Derek Arthur Wills and Karen Natalie Cartwright," the minister began in a soft, musical voice "Do you, Derek Arthur Wills, take this woman, Karen Natalie Cartwright, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," he said, a big beaming smile on his face as he said it.

"Do you promise to love and to honour her till death do you part?"

"I do,"

"And do you, Karen Natalie Cartwright, take this man, Derek Arthur Wills, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," Karen said, a few tears of joy in her eyes.

"Do you promise to love and to honour him till death do you part?" the minister asked, the one thing that the couple had decided to omit from their vows was the word 'obey' and both were thankful for it.

"I do,"

"We will now have the giving and receiving of rings," the minister said and James handed Derek the small Platinum and Diamond ring which Karen had chosen. "Repeat after me, with this ring I thee wed,"

"With this ring, I thee wed," Derek said, _he _now had tears of joy in his eyes.

Sarah handed Karen the small gold band that Derek had chosen and the minister prompted the young bride, Karen repeated what she was told to repeat and smiled.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride," the minister announced and Karen wrapped her arms around her new husband's neck and he put his arms around her waist before he dipped her and leant in for a kiss, something that she would never forget.


	28. The Christmas Part One

_**A/N – I realise that it's been a while since I updated and I also realise that it is rather early for a Christmas themed chapter but I kind of needed this chapter to be a happy one, for reasons I could explain but won't, and so the idea of a Christmas chapter came to me. So here it is: Chapter Twenty-Eight**_

After their wedding, Karen and Derek decided to stay in London until the end of January, meaning that the couple would be able to stay with Emmeline for as long as possible. By the time Christmas came around, the Wills family had become even more tight-knit, although none of them had met Grace's new boyfriend. According to the youngest living Wills child he was very charming and very good looking though no-one had even seen a picture. Apparently he worked in politics and so he was rather busy. The entire family was to meet him for Christmas dinner.

When Karen woke up bright and early on Christmas morning, it was like she was a child again. Although she'd always loved the holiday this Christmas was her first one with Derek as a couple. To say she was excited was an understatement. She'd spent the previous fortnight working on her husband's present and she'd never been so nervous about a gift in her life "Karen go back to sleep, its six O'clock in the morning," Derek groaned sleepily as she sat up.

"But I can't sleep, it's Christmas," she told him excitedly with a big, beaming smile before leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Come on, get up!" she exclaimed happily.

Derek smiled at his wife's enthusiasm over the holiday "Okay love just give me five minutes," he sighed and he watched his wife get up, wearing only an old Rolling Stones T-Shirt and a pair of black lacy underwear.

She bounced around the room trying to find an outfit, scouring the closet until she discovered a simple emerald green dressthat accentuated every curve she had. Once she put it on she turned around to show her husband "How do I look?"

"Gorgeous darling," he said with a smile.

"Thank you, now get up!" she exclaimed laughing when he did get up and spun her around his arms.

He proceeded to find a pair of plain black trousers, a crisp white shirt and a plain black jacket. "There will I do?" he sighed with a smirk.

"I suppose so," she told him, a cheeky grin plastered across her face, her sigh having equalled the temperament of his.

The pair went downstairs and into the kitchen. Since Emmeline had returned from the hospital, her condition had deteriorated in the couple of weeks and so Karen and Derek had taken to cooking for her. Normally, breakfast was something as simple as cereal but for Christmas morning Karen and Derek had planned a full on breakfast, including crepes something Karen had never attempted to make in her entire life "It's basically the same as American pancakes but you don't add any baking powder and we just use plain flour, okay love?" Derek told his wife in a hushed tone so as not to wake his mother up and ruin the surprise.

"Okay," she replied nervously as she began the all-important search for ingredients. Once she'd found all of the necessary things Karen brought them over to her husband and he began to add them to the mixing bowl. She wrapped her arms around his waist and trailed kisses up and down his neck.

"Darling as much as I adore you and this distraction I'd prefer it if I didn't have you biting my head off when I accidentally get crepe mix all over your dress," he told her with a smirk.

"Fine," she sighed with a pout.

"Don't give me that look, it only makes me want you more," he said returning his wife's pout.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she retorted feigning innocence before turning towards the stovetop so that she could begin frying bacon. The olive oil started to sizzle away in the frying pan when she dropped the first few rashers of bacon in it, she flipped one over and the oil began to spit at her and she reached over the pan to grab the pan lid. Once she'd gotten a hold of it the oil spat up at her arm and in sheer panic and pain she dropped the metal pan lid "Shit!" she exclaimed loudly.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked worriedly, knowing full well that Karen only ever swore when she was in physical pain.

By the time he'd asked the question, Karen already had tears in her eyes "Oh it's nothing," she said through sobs "I just burnt my arm is all,"

"Love, you're crying it's clearly nothing. Here let me take a look at that," he said reaching for her arm so he could take a look at it. He could see the large blotch of red on her pale skin, she looked up at him as he stood up "You put it under some cold water and I'll see if there's some burn cream we can put on it," Karen did as she was told whilst Derek searched the kitchen cupboards for the cream, knowing that his mother kept a first aid kit somewhere in the kitchen. When he eventually found the cream, Derek brought it back to Karen and began gently massaging it into the burned area of skin. "Now you're going to sit down in the lounge and I'll finish making breakfast,"

"But… but," she stuttered.

"Not but's Miss Cartwright, you're going to rest," he said using the same voice he'd used on Rebecca Duvall back in the early days of Bombshell's Boston previews.

"Fine," She sighed sounded like a petulant child in a sulk and with that Karen left the kitchen.

When Emmeline came down the stairs and into the living room, she was surprised to see her daughter-in-law sat on the couch without Derek "Where's my son gotten to?" she asked quietly.

"He's in the kitchen, I got kicked out after I burned my arm," Karen replied with a faint smile.

"Ah, right," Emmeline sighed.

"Karen is mum up yet?" Derek shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes I am Derek," Emmeline yelled to her son and soon enough he came into the kitchen bearing plates of food.

They ate breakfast and soon enough it was time for unwrapping presents. First was Derek's first present to Karen. She carefully peeled off the wrapping paper that covered the thin package and discovered that it was an LP of Our Day Will Come by Ruby and the Romantics "Oh my god, it's, it's," Karen stuttered in shock and disbelief.

"Do you like it?" Derek asked his wife nervously.

"Of course I do, it's amazing, thank you," she said with a big, beaming smile, knowing exactly why Derek had given her this record as the pair had agreed that it should be their song, having been the one song that made Derek realize how in love with Karen he really was.

Next was Karen's present to Derek, she waited nervously as he unwrapped it. Quickly realising that it was a photo album he opened it up to reveal that it was a scrapbook of his relationship with Karen from the résumé she'd handed him on her first audition for Bombshell to a picture of the pair after the accident and even a photo of the two from Karen's birthday party. He was rendered completely and utterly speechless and so he gave his wife a small smile "Do you like it? You don't like it, I should have known you wouldn't like it," Karen rambled.

"Darling I love it, it's the best present I've ever gotten," he told her revealing a big, beaming smile.

"Really?" she asked still unsure.

"Yes love," he said with a grin.

There was a knock at the door which Emmeline answered "Hi mum, merry Christmas," came James' voice and at the sound of his gruff tones Karen and Derek stood up. When James and Sarah walked into the room, laden with large amounts of gifts, piled high in their arms.

Once the presents were placed in front of the tree Sarah and her new sister-in-law walked into the corner of the room "Sarah you look radiant, how on earth do you do it?" Karen complimented with a smile.

"Well I am pregnant," Sarah announced and it wasn't until she saw Karen's look of glee that she realised what she'd said "Crap! I wasn't supposed to say anything, James made me swear not to tell anyone until after the first ultrasound and now…" she trailed off.

"Calm down, I won't tell anyone, not even Derek, when did you find out?" Karen said as she tried to sooth the older woman who'd just almost gone into a fit of hysterics.

"Yesterday morning,"

"Well congratulations anyway," Karen said before hugging her.

Soon after more presents were exchanged and lunch was had, and the small group of five were sat in the lounge, Karen had her legs draped across Derek's lap as she leaned into his chest, Sarah had snuggled into James as they sat on the couch and Emmeline was sat, with her feet up, in an armchair as they talked animatedly about everything from Broadway to the West End and back again. At 6 O'clock exactly there was a knock on the door which Karen and Derek both got up to answer. When the door was opened on the doorstep stood Grace Wills and the one man neither Derek nor Karen expected to see again: Dev Sundaram.


	29. The Christmas Part Two

_**A/N – I know it's been a while since I updated but seeing as I'm now on holidays for two weeks I promise more updates. This is basically Karen and Derek's reaction to Dev dating Grace as well as a very uncomfortable Christmas dinner.**_

At seeing her ex-fiancé Karen had pursed her lips in complete shock and anger, keeping them clamped shut, to the point where they were almost white, to avoid losing her temper. She slowly backed away from the door as Grace entered the house followed quickly by Dev. Karen quickly noticed that Derek looked like he was ready to shoot the man before him on the spot and she didn't blame him. Once Grace and Dev had entered the lounge, Karen walked to be beside her husband. "You okay?" he asked in an almost whisper.

"Yeah, you?" she replied, her volume perfectly matched to her husband's.

"I'm shocked, annoyed, a number of other words spring to mind for what I'm feeling, none of them appropriate to be said in my mother's house, but you know," he said, putting his hand on the small of her back and moving it gently up and down her spine.

"Yeah I know," she said quietly, her tone still rather hushed, she quickly turned around.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked his wife, concernedly.

"Well if I'm going to have to be pleasant to that bastard for the next few hours then I'm going to turn this into a massive acting exercise so I'm going to calm myself down just like I do before a show," Karen told him with a smile.

"Okay," he told her with a smirk.

Once Karen had practised enough faces in the mirror that hung in the hallway she turned to face Derek, gave him a quick peck on the lips and led the way into the lounge desperate to show her ex the confidence she'd gained since she and Derek had gotten together. "There you two are, I was beginning to wonder where you'd gotten to," Emmeline said as the pair walked into the room.

'Damn it I didn't think I'd taken that long,' Karen thought to herself before laughing at the question. "So Grace, how're you settling in now that you're back at the Royal Ballet?" she said purposefully ignoring Dev's raised eyebrows as she sat next to Derek on the couch and leant into his side.

"Oh it's brilliant, you know New York's lovely but it's nice to be back home," Grace said.

"Yeah I get it, as much as I call New York my home now it's always nice to go back to Iowa every once in a while," she said with a polite smile even though she really wanted to laugh at Dev's shocked face because she'd never really liked leaving New York when they were together, namely because she never felt completely secure when she left him almost though she knew he would cheat on her, subconsciously.

"That's exactly what I told Dev when I first met him, New York's a truly gorgeous city but it's nothing compared to the magic of home," Grace agreed.

"Okay now you've brought it up, you have to tell me how you guys met, I love to hear about a romance," Karen said, for some reason her interest had been piqued by the thought of how Grace had met Dev.

"We were both in this little pub in London; you've probably never heard of it, it's called the Carpenter's Arms, on Cheshire Street," Karen fought to contain the shock she felt as Grace mentioned the pub where Karen had first met Dev "Anyway so I was being harassed by this hideous man at the bar and Dev saved me by telling the guy he'd beat him to a pulp if he didn't stop, after that Dev and I got to talking and at the end of the night he asked me out," Grace said her voice filled with glee.

'That sounds like Dev alright,' Karen thought to herself bitterly before saying "That's so sweet," she said it with a little bit too much enthusiasm before getting up quickly "I'm just going to put the meat in the oven," she announced before rushing off to the kitchen.

Knowing that the meat was already in the oven, both Sarah and Derek got up and walked into the kitchen to check on her. When they reached the kitchen they found Karen pacing around the kitchen, her hand doing a constant run through of her hair "He said that he hated that pub, when we first met that's what he said when we first met, 'I hate this place, I'm only here because I was desperately hungry' what does that mean? Was my entire relationship with him based on a lie?" she rambled as she paced.

Derek moved in front of her to see if it would stop his wife from pacing, she just proceeded to walk around him as she thought everything through. Sarah grabbed a glass of wine for her sister-in-law, thinking that it might calm her down "Sorry I'm just slightly confused what on earth is going on?" she asked after a while of watching Karen pace around the kitchen.

"Before Karen and I got together, she and Dev were together for about three years, he proposed and at first she said no and then whilst previews for Bombshell were in Boston he slept with Ivy, one of the fellow ensemble girls. Karen accepted his proposal after that but didn't find out until the day she went on as Marilyn," Derek told her.

"Ah, right, sweetie come on stop pacing," Sarah tried but it didn't work.

"Karen, love, I get it you feel like your whole relationship with him was a lie but you can't stay in the kitchen forever," Derek told his wife and somehow she stopped pacing.

"But I want to," she whined.

"Remember what I told you in Boston?"

"Art isn't therapy, we just choose to exploit our heartbreak for the sake of our work," she said with a questioning tone.

Derek smirked before saying "No, the other bit,"

"No matter what happens next, don't ever doubt that I'm a star," she sighed.

"I want you to remember that and I want you to remember that Dev, that rat bastard, doesn't deserve for you to even give him the time of day because you are so, so, much better than he is, you are sweet and innocent and pure. You are intelligent and gorgeous and talented and Dev out there HE is just a slimy little weasel who broke your heart and left you to find a new apartment and pick up all of the broken pieces because that's just the kind of screwed up little prick he is," Derek told her making her smile the big beaming smile which made him light up knowing that she was at least happy for now.

Sarah passed her the glass of wine which Karen quickly downed and the trio walked back into the lounge and sat down. "Is the meat alright? You were in there a while," Dev asked with the same smile he gave annoying journalists when they pestered him over a press release.

"The _meat _is fine Dev," Karen replied bitterly.

An hour later and the Christmas dinner was ready and served, everyone was sat at the table, happily eating when Grace said "So Karen, Dev tells me that you two know each other,"

Karen rolled her eyes before casually saying "Actually we used to date about what? Two years back was it?"

"Huh, you never told me that," Grace said to her boyfriend, slightly annoyed.

"What are you doing?" Derek whispered in his wife's ear.

"Saving your sister from the same heartbreak I suffered," she whispered back.

"Okay then,"

"Why did you end it? If you don't mind me asking," Grace asked her interest piqued.

"Do you want the long story or the short one?" Karen asked seeing a look in Dev's eyes which told her to stop but she ignored it. She was going to save Grace from the same heartbreak that she herself had suffered at the hands of Dev Sundaram.

"Either one," Grace suggested nonchalantly.

"Well, we'd been together for about three years, it's quite funny because we met in the same pub that you met him in, I say it's funny because he always said that he hated it. Anyway so we'd been together for about three years and he'd proposed, after having admitted to kissing his secretary, or whatever she was, RJ. Then I went to Boston with Bombshell for previews and he turned up there, and I told him I needed some space so he slept with one of the girls from the ensemble, Ivy. Then on the day I was supposed to go on as Marilyn I find out about it and ended up breaking down completely. I think that's about it isn't it Dev?" she explained a slight amount of annoyance in her voice.

"Karen can I have a discussion with you in private?" Dev asked.

"No I think we've said all there is to be said Dev," Karen replied angrily.

Dev looked from James, to Sarah, to Emmeline, to Grace who raised her eyebrows at him before saying "I think you should leave Dev,"

"B-b-but…" he stuttered.

"You heard her, Dev leave before I personally escort you from the house and you remember that if I have to do that it won't be pretty," Derek said with an extreme degree of anger yet he was somewhat restrained.

And quite suddenly Dev stood up and left the room and eventually the house. The rest of dinner went by in complete silence and when Grace decided to leave she hugged Karen "Thank you, you just helped me dodge a bullet," she said in a hushed tone.

"You're welcome, trust me, the last thing you need is to deal with the crap that comes with Dev Sundaram," Karen said in an equally hushed tone.


	30. The Death

_**A/N – So I got fairly distracted halfway through this chapter and decided to watch Rent. Did anyone else cry towards the end of it? This one may be a little depressing, so don't say I didn't warn you.**_

On Friday 17th January Emmeline Jane Ramsay went to sleep and the next morning she didn't wake up. Karen went in to wake up her mother-in-law and what she found shocked her. At first she tried to wake the older up but then discovered there was no pulse. Immediately she grabbed her phone and dialled 999 and called for her husband.

When Derek eventually trudged up the stairs he burst into tears, Derek Wills, the dark lord, Sauron himself, was crying, shocking didn't even begin to describe the sight. He crumpled to the floor and went into the foetal position as the tears flowed. Karen had seen her husband cry, several times but she'd never seen him in such a state. When the pathologist arrived they took Emmeline's body, lifted it, put it onto a stretcher and covered it with a white sheet.

"Is he going to be okay?" the pathologist asked Karen, pointing to Derek.

"He's just lost his mother, what do you think?" Karen said, allowing a degree of spite to enter her voice.

"I was just asking," the man said, slightly offended.

Karen proceeded to kneel beside Derek to see if she could help him get up "Come on babe, get up," she said hopefully.

"Don't feel like it," he said, sounding exactly like a petulant child.

"Derek, get up and get some food," she pleaded.

"Not hungry,"

"What about a drink?"

"No,"

"Sarah, James and Grace are going to be round soon, surely you don't want them to see you like this," she said desperately.

"Don't want to see them,"

"Derek, I know you are upset but you have to get up," she said as she attempted to drag him up from the ground.

When he willed himself to stay on the floor Karen tried something else. She sang.

_When I find myself in times of trouble_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

_And in my hour of darkness _

_She is standing right in front of me_

_Speaking words of wisdom _

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

At this point Derek looked up at Karen, who stood in front of him begging with her eyes as she sang.

_And when the broken hearted people _

_Living in the world agree_

_There will be an answer_

_Let it be_

_For though they may be parted_

_There is still a chance that they will see_

_There will be an answer_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_There will be an answer_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

Derek proceeded to stand up and take Karen's hand.

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Yeah let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

_And when the night is cloudy_

_There is still a light that shines on me_

_Shine until tomorrow_

_Let it be_

_I wake up to the sound of music_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Yeah let it be_

_There will be an answer_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Yeah let it be_

_There will be an answer_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Let it be_

_Yeah let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

By the time Karen had finished singing they had reached the room that Karen and Derek were sharing. Derek climbed into bed; Karen did the same and wrapped her arms around him, knowing that he may find some comfort in it.

"Will it always hurt?" he asked in an almost whisper.

"It'll fade eventually, there'll be some things that make you smile and eventually you'll laugh and you'll be happy but right now it hurts and the best possible thing for you to do is to try and sleep before everyone else comes round," she said, trying to keep her voice as calm and soothing as she possibly could. Truth be told Karen wanted to cry, but she had to be strong for her husband and she would allow herself to cry when he wasn't able to see.

Eventually Derek fell asleep, his breathing finally starting to even out and Karen gently let go of him and went downstairs to the kitchen where she allowed herself to cry as she cleaned it. She scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom, her tears flowing like a waterfall. The woman who'd helped to make Derek the wonderful, inspiring, kind yet guarded man that she'd grown to know and love had died and she was guessing so had a little bit of him. Once she'd cleaned the kitchen, Karen proceeded to begin baking anything she possibly could think of: Cookies, cakes, anything that may distract her. Once she'd emptied the house of all baking ingredients, Karen cleaned the lounge, adding a bouquet of flowers made from White Carnations (for remembrance), Peonies (for healing), Bellflower (for loss) and Marigolds (for pain and grief). She was glad that she'd remembered the language of flowers from the class her mother had forced her to take when she was a teenager.

Derek got up around twelve O'clock and was thankful that the rest of his family hadn't arrived. He'd always tried to stay strong for Grace, in fact she'd only ever seen him in a state of complete and utter numbness or depression three times: the first when Anne had died, the second after Nicola's death and the third after the fight with his father a few months previously. And James, well he'd just take the piss out of him no end if he ever saw his younger brother in such a state.

"Hey," Karen said when she saw him.

"Hey, I thought you said Sarah, James and Grace would be coming round," he said suspiciously.

"Sarah refuses to let Grace drive herself here, so Grace is waiting for Sarah and James to get to hers which means that Sarah has to get James off the couch," Karen said quietly which made Derek chuckle slightly "See I told you that you'd laugh at some point,"

"Thank you, now what is that lovely smell?" he asked.

"I baked, the cookies and cakes are just cooling down," she said with a wobbly smile "The undertaker's coming around tomorrow to discuss plans for the funeral," she continued quietly.

"Okay," Derek sighed.

"Do you want some tea? Coffee? Scotch?" she asked cautiously.

"Might as well have a cup of tea, scotch can wait till later," he told her quietly, his eyes showing the full extent of his emotions: sorrow, mourning and grief. The combination of all of these made for a heart-breaking sight.

Before she went into the kitchen, Karen walked towards her husband and flung her arms around his neck and allowed his head to rest on her shoulder as he wept once again. He let all of his emotions go as he stood in the arms of the woman he considered to be the love of his life. She forced herself to be the strong one, she couldn't fall to pieces. Derek needed for Karen to be strong for him, he didn't know that he needed her but she did.


	31. The Funeral

_**A/N – Okay so I'll admit that as I was writing the last chapter I did cry hence the reason why the last chapter was mainly lyrics to Let it Be. To be honest, that chapter was a little bit close to home at the moment but I suppose it's good for me to get these things out even if it's through my writing. You'll be getting another sad chapter for those of you who've come to love Emmeline, as I have.**_

The funeral was held a week after Emmeline's death, several of the West End's most famous attended to show their support for the woman who'd been known as the queen of it before she'd retreated out of the spotlight to look after her children. The church was packed with a crowd of over a hundred people, all of whom were invited to the burial as well; no-one had the heart to turn away the people who'd truly known Emmeline and her family.

At the very front of the sea of black, Derek found himself leaning on Karen's shoulder as the minister stood at the altar and said "We meet in the name of Jesus Christ, who died and was raised to the glory of God the Father. Grace and mercy be with you. We have come here today to remember before God our sister, Emmeline Jane Ramsay; to give thanks for her life; to commend her to God our merciful redeemer and judge; to commit her body to be buried, and to comfort one another in grief. God of all consolation, your Son, Jesus Christ, was moved to tears at the grave of Lazarus, his friend. Look with compassion on your children in their loss; give to troubled hearts the light of hope and strengthen in us the gift of faith, in Jesus Christ our lord,"

The congregation of people then joined in a chorus of the word "Amen,"

"Emmeline's would-be daughter-in-law, Karen Cartwright, will now sing us one of Emmeline's favourite songs Somewhere Over the Rainbow," The minister announced, although they'd told the minister about the wedding neither Karen nor Derek wanted it to appear in the press. Karen made her way up to the front of the stage where she was handed a microphone, she loved the song but knew it was going to be difficult to sing at such an event.

_Somewhere over the rainbow  
Way up high there's a land I heard of _

_Once in a lullaby  
Somewhere over the rainbow  
Skies are blue  
And the dreams _

_That you dare to dream  
Really do come true_

Someday I'll wish upon a star  
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me  
Where troubles melt like lemon drops  
Away above the chimney tops  
That's where you'll find me 

_Somewhere over the rainbow  
Bluebirds fly  
Birds fly over the rainbow  
Why then oh why can't I?_

If happy little bluebirds fly  
Beyond the rainbow why oh why can't I?

By the time Karen had finished the song, she had tears in her eyes. She walked to sit by her husband who leant his head on her shoulder once she was sat at his side. The minister went on to say "As children of a loving and heavenly Father, let us ask his forgiveness, for he is gentle and full of passion,"

Silence was kept for a minute and then the minister continued "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will by no means precede those who have died. For the Lord himself, with a cry of command, with the archangel's call and with the sound of God's trumpet, will descend from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up in the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the air; and so we will be with the Lord for ever. Therefore encourage one another with these words,"

"Merciful Father and Lord of all life, we praise you that we are made in your image and reflect your truth and light. We thank you for the life of your child Emmeline, for the love she received from you  
and showed among us. Above all, we rejoice at your gracious promise to all your servants, living and departed, that we shall rise again at the coming of Christ. And we ask that in due time we may share with our sister that clearer vision, when we shall see your face in the same Christ our Lord," he continued.

There was another chorus of Amen's from the party of mourners before the minister began again "Let us commend Emmeline to the mercy of God, our maker and redeemer," after this sentence there was silence for a minute as everyone bowed their heads, almost like an ensemble in unison "God our creator and redeemer, by your power Christ conquered death and entered into glory. Confident of this victory and claiming his promises, we entrust Emmeline to your mercy in the name of Jesus our Lord, who died and is alive and reigns with you, now and forever,"

"Amen," everyone chorused.

"The Lord is full of compassion and mercy, slow to anger and of great goodness. As a father is tender towards his children, so is the Lord tender to those that fear him. For he knows of what we are made; he remembers that we are but dust. Our days are like the grass; we flourish like a flower of the field; when the wind goes over it, it is gone and its place will know it no more. But the merciful goodness of the Lord endures for ever and ever toward those that fear him and his righteousness upon their children's children," the minister continued thus ending the service and after announcing that everyone would be allowed to attend the burial, he led the assembled guests to the church's cemetery for the burial itself, Derek, James and a few other men lifted the casket and carried it to the cemetery. "We have entrusted our sister Emmeline to God's mercy, and we now commit her body to the ground: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust: in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our frail bodies that they may be conformed to his glorious body, who died, was buried, and rose again for us. To him be glory for ever," as Emmeline's casket was lowered into the ground, Karen felt tears pour down her cheeks and as she looked to everyone else, she realised that she wasn't the only one.

Once the casket was in the ground everyone was asked to sow some dirt into the hole, James was the first to do so, then Sarah, then Derek, then Karen, then Grace and then everyone else. Once this had been done, the mourners began to leave and it was just James, Sarah, Grace, Derek and Karen at the graveside, due to the fact that the mourners had surrounded such a large space of area, Karen hadn't noticed that Emmeline's grave was next to Anne's. Derek kneeled down in between the two and burst into tears. On instinct Karen knelt down beside him and rubbed his back as she began to sing

_Oh why you look so sad  
The tears are in your eyes  
Come on and come to me now  
Don't be ashamed to cry  
Let me see you through  
Cause I've seen the dark side too_

When the night falls on you  
You don't know what to do  
Nothing you confess  
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad  
Don't hold it all inside  
Come on and talk to me now  
Hey, what you got to hide  
I get angry too  
Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads  
And don't know which path to choose  
Let me come along  
Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
Take me in into you darkest hour  
And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby  
You feeling all alone  
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
Take me in into you darkest hour  
And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you

Oh I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you

Derek turned around to face her and Karen wrapped her arms around him allowing him to cry on her shoulder as she held him.


	32. The Accident

Since the funeral Derek hadn't slept or eaten properly and Karen was worried, so she did the most rational thing she could think of: she called Dr Spencer, which caused the couple's first ever fight.

"Why the hell did you call him?" Derek demanded.

"Because, I'm worried about you and I'm not the only one. Sarah, James, Grace, Julia, Eileen and Tom they're all worried about you. Even _Jerry _is worried about you!" she exclaimed "I was at my wit's end, you're not eating, you're barely sleeping I had to call him Derek,"

"She was my mother and she died; what do you expect Karen?" he roared.

"Grace and James just lost their mother too but you don't see them lying in bed all day refusing to eat or sleep!" she screamed at him "Look, I'm going to go see James and Sarah like I promised them maybe you'll have cooled off by the time I get back," she announced, picking up her handbag and the car keys, walking out of the door and getting in the car.

She drove and drove until she found somewhere to stop. She sat in the small car and wondered whether her relationship with her husband was still salvageable. She knew it was but there was a little voice in the back of her mind that said it wasn't, she didn't trust it the only time she'd listened to it she'd landed in an abusive relationship with Jimmy.

She started the car again and left the small car park to begin the journey to Sarah and James' house in the centre of London. She got on the M3 and drove until the car began to stall and she pulled into the shoulder lane, grabbed her phone out of her pocket and searched for Sarah's phone number, once found she dialled it and on the third ring Sarah picked up "Hi Karen, you are still coming round right?"

"Yeah, the car's just broken down on the M3 though," Karen said.

"Okay, I'll come pick you up where abouts are you?" Sarah asked.

"Umm according to the sign I'm about one and a half miles from the exit to go Chertsey," Karen announced.

"Okay I'll see you in about three quarts of an hour," Sarah replied

"Okay," Karen told her before hanging up.

Karen sat in the shoulder lane for another hour when there was a knock on the passenger window; she turned to look and was glad to see that it was Sarah. "Sorry I didn't exactly factor traffic into the equation," she said with a smile.

"I called the AA and they said they'll be out here in another 15 minutes so we've just got to wait a little while for them to arrive," Karen replied "How are you anyway?"

"Not bad morning sickness is starting to get to me, but you know; how are you? You look like you've been crying are you okay?" Sarah told her sister in law.

"Derek and I got into an argument because I called his therapist," Karen said with a sigh.

"Ah, so you're worried to the point where you called his therapist and he thinks you're just being melodramatic,"

"Pretty much, I mean he's barely eating, barely sleeping, he only showers when I get down on my knees and beg, literally. He just lies there and stares into space, it's not healthy but he doesn't listen to me so I phoned someone he might listen to and he's taking it completely the wrong way. It doesn't help that apparently he's needed back in New York to re teach the choreography for Hit List, this according to the insufferable Jerry Rand. Eileen and Julia are pushing back auditions for the Great Gatsby so that he can at least have a go at recovering which is costing thousands by the day, and on top of all that we still haven't gone through all of Emmeline's stuff so that we can find the damned will so that it can be read at the lawyer's office and I don't know what the hell to do!" Karen said in a panicked ramble "And because he's refusing to answer his damn phone I'm the one having to deal with it all, because everyone keeps phoning me so that he actually gets the message,"

"Karen, take a breath and calm down, you're stressing yourself out which isn't good at all," Sarah said in an attempt to sooth the slightly younger woman.

Karen took a quick breath and slowly released it, just in time for the mechanic the AA had sent to turn up. Karen and Sarah got out of the car and stood whilst the mechanic checked out the car. It was serious enough to warrant the mechanic telling Karen that the car would need to be taken to the garage to be fixed. She signed the sheet of paper, promising to pick it up three days later and, once the car was hooked up to the tow truck the mechanic had driven to the spot, she got into Sarah's car.

Sarah got her car out of the shoulder lane and made her way back onto the M3. Within another 45 minutes they were at the junction to get onto Fulham Road, Sarah tried to turn the car onto the road, just as the car in front of her had, when another car came speeding up to the rear of the car and jolted it forward as it hit the rear bumper with such an impact that the car which held Sarah and Karen in its front two seats hit the car in front of it. Karen felt herself being thrown forward and then pinned to the seat by her seatbelt. She quickly attempted to wriggle her toes and fingers, both of which she was able to do, before removing her seatbelt and checking on Sarah who's head had flopped to the side against her seatbelt. Karen put two fingers on Sarah's neck to check for a pulse, she found it but also found a shard of glass piercing her sister-in-law's neck. There was a knock on the passenger window and Karen saw that it came from a man with short dark hair and dazzling blue eyes stood outside the passenger window, she quickly opened the window slightly. "I've dialled 999; are you two all right in there?" he asked.

"Umm I'm fine but my sister-in-law she's…she's unconscious and she's… she'd got a piece of glass stuck in her neck and I'm scared to move her in case I cause her further damage, she's… she's just over two months pregnant and I'm worried that if I move her then she'll get hurt further but if I don't move her then she might lose the baby and her husband might just kill me if that happens," she told him before bursting into tears.

"Okay, calm down, I'm actually a doctor so I'll try and help her, now can you move your legs?" he asked gently.

"I… I think so," Karen said before trying to move her legs, once she'd managed to free them from a stray piece of metal. "I can move them, now if I can just open the door," she said and with great difficulty she opened the door which seemed to be jammed shut. Once the door was open, she swung her legs around and clambered out of the car.

"Okay, now can do you mind if I assess your injuries?"

"Umm actually maybe we should try and get my sister-in-law out of the car first," she suggested.

"Yeah, of course," he said. They tried to open the door but even with all of their might they couldn't do it.

"What if we try and get her out through the passenger door?" Karen asked shyly.

"I'm worried that she might be trapped by something, if we could open this door then we might be able to get a better look," he told her "I'm sorry Miss…"

"Cartwright, Karen Cartwright," she told him.

"I'm Mark Wallace," he replied.

"I'm going to go phone her husband and then we can try again," she said grabbing her phone out and dialling James' number.

"Karen, where the hell are you guys? I thought you'd be here by now," James exclaimed worriedly.

"James, I need you to sit down. We're at the intersection at Warwick and Fulham, there was a car crash and Sarah's unconscious, with a… a piece of glass stuck in her neck we can't get her out without causing harm to either her or the baby because we can't actually tell whether her legs are trapped or not, there's an ambulance on its way and there's already a doctor here, I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that she and the baby survive, okay?"

"Okay," he said sounding deflated.

"I'll phone you when there's more information," she said before hanging up. Karen knew that in this current moment she was running on adrenalin and that the likeliness that she'd be able to continue to do so for much longer was low so she ran back to the car and Sarah. "Okay, I'm back, I told her husband we'd do our best and the guy's just lost his mother so I'll be damned if he is going to lose his wife and baby as well," she said, her voice cold and calculated.

"Okay, I want you to go around to the other side of the car and see if you can find anything in there that could act as a lever. Then I want you to go to my car, it's the one in front of this one and then go into the glove compartment and there should be a medium sized black bag in there get it and I'll see what I can do from here. Okay?"

"Okay," she said, still sounding slightly confident.

Karen went into Sarah's car and found a piece of metal and handed it to Mark, before going to his car, grabbing the black bag and running back to the car. Mark had wedged the piece of metal into the small gap between the door and the car frame "On my count we're both going to pull okay?" he ordered to which Karen nodded "Okay, 1… 2… 3… Pull," they pulled but still couldn't get the door open "Again, 1… 2… 3… Pull" they pulled again and finally the door opened. Sarah wasn't trapped by anything and so they pulled her out of the car. She had a large cut to her head "Okay you know how to do a basic running stitch?" Karen nodded "Okay, there's a needle and some plastic thread in that black bag, use them to sew up that cut whilst I see if she has any head injuries,"

"Okay," she carefully did the stitch, the first one she'd ever learnt to sew at the age of 12, making sure that each stitch was small enough to leave minimal scarring. Once finished she asked "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Umm can you go to the car behind us and check on the driver and anyone else who might be there?"

"Yeah sure," she said before running to the car behind them. When she arrived there she discovered it was empty "Damn it!" she exclaimed and ran back to the car "That bastard got out of the car and ran!"

"Okay, calm down, I'm going to leave your sister-in-law's other injuries until the ambulance gets here, she's got a probable concussion, but I'm going to leave that shard of glass until the paramedics get here. It'll be best to remove it in a controlled environment, now I'll just check you over, okay?"

"Okay," Karen sighed, knowing that they'd done all they could for Sarah at that point in time.

Mark looked her over and saw nothing more than she knew of: a sprained ankle, a gash on her head; a burn on her neck and a few bruises. She decided to wait until she was at the hospital to get the gash and her ankle seen to, so all Mark and Karen had to do was wait and make sure that Sarah survived until the ambulance arrived. Eventually the ambulance arrived and Sarah was lifted onto a stretcher and Karen climbed in too after confirming that she was family. Whilst in the ambulance Karen took advantage and called James and informed him of Sarah's condition, he sounded slightly relieved but also pained.

When they reached the hospital she was pulled into a consultant's room where her ankle was checked out and her gash sewn up. When she left the room, on crutches, she filled in the necessary forms, thankful that healthcare was basically free in the UK and went to find where Sarah had been taken to. When she reached it she was greeted with a hug from James "I called Derek," he told her.

"Did he answer?" she asked sarcastically.

"No," he said regretfully.

"He's still pissed with me," she sighed.

"Why?"

"I called his therapist, he thinks I'm overreacting but I mean he's barely eating, he's barely sleeping, I have to beg him to get a shower, I'm scared, I'm worried, I didn't know what to do so I called his therapist," she rambled.

"You did the right thing, he'll come around eventually," James said.

"How's Sarah doing?" Karen asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Well, they've managed to remove the shard of glass without her bleeding out and the baby still has a strong heartbeat so I suppose we just have to wait for her to wake up," he said in a hushed tone

"And the head injury? Was it just a concussion?" she asked, her voice equally as quiet.

"Thankfully yes," he said.

"I'll just go and phone Derek, more to the point see if he picks up," Karen told her brother-in-law before leaving the room to make the phone call. The adrenaline had worn off and she needed to hear her husband's voice telling her that everything would be okay.

The phone rang and rang until finally Derek picked up "Karen, love, are you okay?" he asked his voice filled with concern.

"Well barring the gash on my head and a sprained ankle I suppose I'm fine," she told him feeling instantly soothed by his voice.

"Wait, what? What happened?" he asked suddenly sounding fearful.

"Your mum's car broke down on the M3 so I called Sarah to come and pick me up which she did and on our way back round to hers and James' we were in a three car pile-up so now I'm in the hospital, with James because Sarah's unconscious and she's got a concussion and she had a piece of glass stuck in her neck and oh my god I was so scared Derek," she rambled.

"Okay which hospital are you at?" he said, wanting to be there at that exact moment to hold her hand and calm her.

"Umm Chelsea and Westminster," she replied.

"I'll see you soon," he told her. No sooner had the phone conversation ended then Derek was out of the door and into the rental car that he and Karen had hired for the time they were in the UK. He went as fast as he could to Chelsea and Westminster, the journey still took him an hour but he still managed to get there. When he arrived he asked for Sarah's room and when he entered and Karen saw him she ran into his arms and began to sob uncontrollably. He just ran his hand through her long brown hair with its blonde highlights at the ends and told her "It'll be okay, It'll all be okay," repeatedly to try and calm her down.


	33. The Blame Game

_**A/N – The Emmy nominations committee have officially proved NBC wrong in its decision to cancel Smash by nominating it for two Emmys for the performances of Hang the Moon and I Heard Your Voice in a Dream, if that doesn't prove to another network that the show should be picked up I don't know what will! I know that you guys may be slightly annoyed with me over the last chapter, because of Karen and Derek's argument but from my experience the best couples aren't afraid to argue over their problems, it's what makes them work, they're not afraid to speak their minds with the other because they're completely secure in it.**_

Karen and Derek refused point blank to leave the hospital until Sarah woke up, which, the doctors said, may have taken a few days because in order to safely remove the shard of glass they'd put her in a medically induced coma to avoid her moving and possibly dislodging the shard so that it may plug itself into the carotid artery, which, if pierced, could cause her to bleed out and die.

Eventually, Derek persuaded Karen to go and get a cup of coffee and he left with her to make sure that she was okay. "Are you okay?" he asked once they were out of the hospital room, knowing that she would try and lie and hide the real answer.

"I'm fine," she lied. It was a little white lie as far as she was concerned.

"You're not, you forget Karen I know you inside out and you're not fine," he told her as they walked down the hallway.

"Okay, well if you must know I'm blaming myself, if… if I'd checked the damn car before I left or… or driven the rental car instead, Sarah wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed, unconscious and… and…" she said before beginning to sob uncontrollably.

Derek pulled her into his arms and held onto her tightly as he said "None of this is your fault, you don't get to blame yourself for this, it happened and you heard the doctor, Sarah will be fine,"

"I had to sew up her leg, I didn't even look for dirt or anything I just sewed it up, it could be infected and if it gets really badly infected they might have to amputate it and then it'll all be my fault, damn it why did I listen to that guy in the car in front of us," she said.

"Who was the guy in the car in front of you?" Derek asked, confused.

"He said he was a doctor, Mark something, he told me to sew up Sarah's leg with a needle and thread and what if she's allergic to something in the thread or she ends up getting an infection or something like that?" she rambled.

"You did what you could in a very stressful situation love if anything happens it won't be your fault, okay? None of this is your fault, you followed instructions you were given, if anything goes wrong you won't be at fault okay love?" he said as calmly as he possibly could before kissing her on the forehead.

"Okay, and look I'm sorry for calling Dr Spencer," she said her tears finally beginning to subside.

"Love, you shouldn't apologise, you were right to call him, you were worrying about me and I shouldn't have gotten mad at you over it," he said.

"The great Derek Wills apologising? I must be a lucky lady," she said, looking up at him and laughing.

"Not as lucky as I am to have you," he told her as he stroked her cheek.

She moved her hands up from his waist to his jaw and moved his head down slightly so that she could kiss him. He ran his left hand through her hair gently and kept his right hand on her waist and she felt her foot lift off the ground just like in so many of the films she'd seen, she laced his lips with her tongue as he tilted his head slightly to the side. When they finally came up for air a minute later, Karen felt exhilarated and she really, really wanted to take her husband into a private room and have her way with him there and then but she figured that under the circumstances she'd best not so she decided to continue to find the coffee machine.

When they eventually got back to Sarah's room, they found James and Grace at her bedside, James had a hold of his wife's hand a sight that reminded Derek of Karen's accident and how he'd refused to leave her bedside, how he'd held her hand every second until she woke up. He understood his older brother's emotions better than anyone in the given situation. He felt Karen lean her head on his shoulder and smiled a slightly dopey grin as they walked through the door. "How is she?" Karen asked carefully.

"Stable, we're just waiting for her to wake up now," James said with a sigh.

Just then a group of doctors walked through the door and went to stand at the foot of the bed "Sarah Wills, age 30, 9 weeks pregnant, brought in unconscious with a shard of glass piercing her neck last night after a car accident, she is currently in a medically induced coma with a concussion," one of the doctors read from the chart in front of her.

"Thank you Dr Hart, now who knows the proposed treatment plan _without _looking at the patients chart?" another, slightly older, doctor said patronisingly.

Several hands rose and a voice familiar to Karen said "We monitor her until she wakes up and then make sure that she's completely responsive, keep her in for another few days to make sure that an infection doesn't appear and then release her into the care of her family,"

"Correct Dr Wallace. Now I'll leave you to keep an eye on her seeing as you were late in for your shift today," the older doctor announced, after which he and the other doctors left and so Dr Mark Wallace was left with the family of a fellow car crash victim.

Karen, on impulse, leant into her husband's side as she stood there and told him "That's the doctor from the crash,"

"Which one? The one that's staying?" he asked her, slightly baffled.

"Yeah," she told him followed by giving Derek a quick kiss on the cheek and then asking in a louder voice "So Dr Wallace, what exactly do you mean by monitor her?"

"Well it basically means that I stay here until Sarah wakes up and make sure that her and the baby's heartbeats are steady and normal and I take note of it until she wakes up… I'm sorry I've forgotten your name what was it?" told her as though he knew all.

"It's Karen," she said with a fake smile.

"I'm slightly confused, you two know each other?" James said.

"Oh well Dr Wallace here was the doctor the car crashed into, he's also the person who told me to sew up Sarah's leg without cleaning it, so if she gets an infection you know who to blame," Karen said her voice unexpectedly calm.

"That's not fair, you didn't think to ask," Mark told her sounding slightly offended.

"I was running on adrenalin, in case you didn't notice," she exclaimed loudly, not even bothering to attempt to hide the anger and hurt that appeared in her voice and on her voice and she left the room.

The moment she was out of the room she leaned against a wall and allowed herself to sink to the floor and burst into tears, wrapping her arms around her legs just as she had on the day of her first preview as Marilyn. 'I am to blame, I know Derek says I'm not, but there are so many things about that car accident that were my fault, if I had checked Emmeline's car, if I'd used the rental car, if I hadn't lengthened the drive by going the long way round so I could clear my head, and if she gets an infection in her leg that'll all be my fault too,' Karen was too lost in these thoughts to notice that Derek had come in and sat beside her.

"Love, it's not your fault," he said as he brought her into a hug.

"B-but it is, if I hadn't gone the long way round so I could clear my head, if I'd just checked your mum's car before I left, if I'd taken the rental car then we wouldn't have been in that damn accident and Sarah wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed. If I'd thought to attempt to clean up that big gash on her leg then her chances of getting an infection would be lessened, you know that," she told him in between hugs.

"Look that Doctor in there is a prat, not only that but he's a junior doctor so he knows nothing at all, okay?" Derek told his wife "I know that you did the best you could in a very, very stressful situation. You don't have medical training so if Sarah gets an infection in her leg, you don't get to blame yourself for it because that idiot only told you to stitch it up," he kissed her forehead and continued "You are extraordinary Karen, you are the strongest, most talented, kind, caring, beautiful, loveable woman I've ever met, I don't know a single person who would be able to stitch someone up like that without any medical training. You _do not _get to blame yourself for any of this okay? You are going to promise me that you'll stop blaming yourself, okay?" he told her making sure that the last question sounded like less of a request and more like an order.

"Okay, I promise," she sighed as she looked up at him "I love you, you do know that right?"

"Of course I do, and I love you too darling," he said with a smile and kissed her temple.


	34. The Finding

Karen sat outside of Sarah's hospital room with Derek's arms wrapped around her for a while longer, it was a comfort to her to know that her husband would stand by her and wouldn't blame her even though she blamed herself. He was one of the very few people who would do that for her, even her parents had made her feel like she'd been deserted at one point or another, the main time being after Caroline's suicide. She looked up at Derek and into the gorgeous, gentle green eyes that she'd only refused on a few occasions and felt glad that of all the people that could be with her at such a time, he was there. He always had been: after she and Dev split up Derek had been the one to offer his spare room until she could get back up on her feet, after Jimmy had begun to hit her Derek was the one to comfort her and clean up the cuts and bruises on her face, never judging her mistakes, just being there. When things went wrong for her there he was to help her back up on her feet, to help her heal, to tell her when she was being an idiot, to be brutally honest when she needed it, to defend her when she needed him to, to let her fight her own battles if necessary. He was the very man she'd dreamt of as a teenager; a roguish Prince Charming.

Eventually she released herself from Derek's arms and stood up but as she did so she immediately felt light-headed and began to swoon, she was thankful when Derek caught her just in time "You alright?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, just haven't taken my iron tablets, didn't grab them before I left the house yesterday," she said feeling slightly stupid.

"Okay, well we can just go back to the house and grab them," he told her gently.

"Okay," she sighed, she couldn't really be bothered arguing or going back into Sarah's room and dealing with the arsehole that was Dr Mark Wallace.

Derek led Karen out to where he'd parked the rental car, opened the door to it and helped her in, she didn't feel she needed the help, but Derek knew that she did. He avoided Fulham Road and went the long way around, knowing that seeing the site of the accident could cause Karen to begin to cry again. She'd been so strong over the few weeks prior and now she was starting to crack and he hated to see the strong, talented, beautiful, kind, caring woman he so ardently loved break down. When they reached his mother's house, Karen had fallen asleep, for the first time since the car accident. When she slept she looked younger, like she was completely worry free, Derek noted as he brushed a strand of her hair from her face before lifting her, taking her inside the house and laying her down on the bed, making sure that she was covered by the duvet cover before going back downstairs. He grabbed a glass of water and her iron tablets and went upstairs to put it on the bedside table, careful not to wake his sleeping wife.

A few hours later, Karen woke up and was confused and panicked by her surroundings at first but then realised where she was and immediately calmed down. She looked to the side of her, noticed that Derek had left her iron tablets and a glass of water on the bedside, smiled and took the tablet, quickly downing it and hoping that the taste wouldn't last too long, a hope that was futile as she knew but she still hoped.

She walked downstairs and was greeted by a smiling Derek, sat on the couch "How long was I asleep for?" she asked quietly.

"A few hours, you looked so peaceful that I couldn't wake you," he said with a slight smile "I told James that we'll go back to the hospital tomorrow,"

"Okay," she said with a sigh.

"I tried looking for mum's will," he said hopefully.

"Any luck?" she asked as she moved to sit next to him.

"No, couldn't even find the contact details for her lawyer," Derek told her regretfully "I've checked everywhere except…" he trailed off.

"Except her room," Karen sighed, understanding the situation completely.

"Yeah, it's just, every time I pass it I… everything just comes flooding back to me, like the one Christmas morning when James and I decided to open everyone's presents, and once Dad had yelled at us mum told us that she understood and then she hugged us both, or when I woke up in the middle of the night screaming after Anne died and Mum just came in and held me as I cried…" he trailed off once again and Karen pulled him into her as tears filled his eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Derek pulled himself away from his wife, took a hold of her hand and began to lead her up the stairs and into his mother's room. He let go of her hand and went to the wardrobe and began searching through it, pulling out item after item of clothing and tossing it onto the floor behind him. Karen stood and watched in disbelief, she was unsure as to whether she should help him in his search or whether she should leave him to it, her mind was made up when her phone rang and she found that it was Ivy.

"Hey Ivy," Karen said with a sigh.

She heard Ivy sob hysterically and talk in a voice that the younger woman couldn't for the life of her understand, Karen was shocked; barring the incident in Boston, Ivy Lynn had always appeared to be calm, cool and collected.

"Calm down Ivy, what's wrong?" Karen said trying to sooth her friends.

"I'm pregnant," Ivy announced before bursting into tears.

"Whose is it?" Karen asked ever so slightly shocked.

"I don't know his name, I had a drunken one night stand just after Christmas and I don't know the name of the guy or his phone number or address," she told Karen in between sobs "I told mum and she's cut me off completely, I didn't think to save any money from Bombshell and now I can't afford my rent and I can't afford the deposit for another apartment and… and…" she said before bursting into tears again.

Derek had stopped looking through his mother's wardrobe and asked Karen "Who is it, love?"

"It's Ivy," Karen said "Look Ivy, I think Ana still needs a roommate, I'll explain the situation to her and you can stay with her, okay?"

"Thanks Karen," Ivy said "How's Derek?"

"Better, but still well you know," Karen replied "I'd best get going, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here,"

'Okay, thanks Karen," Ivy responded.

"Bye Ivy," and with that the phone conversation ended.

"Is Ivy okay?" Derek asked, concerned for the woman who'd eventually become one of his wife's biggest protectors.

"Not exactly, she found out that she's pregnant by a one night stand, told her Leigh and now she's been cut off and can't afford to stay in her apartment. I told her I'd call Ana and see if she could stay in the apartment with her until she's got enough money for another apartment," Karen explained carefully.

"You know considering she slept with your ex-fiancé, you're being awfully kind to her," he told her.

"I've let that go," Karen said "I'm going to phone Ana and see whether she'll be able to help," she announced and dialled the phone number of one of her best friends.

"Hey girl didn't think I'd be hearing from you today," came Ana's voice.

"Hey Ana, listen I need a huge favour, do you still need a new roommate?" Karen asked.

"You and Derek didn't break up did you? My offer still stands on breaking him you know," Ana said sounding deadly serious.

"No, nothing like that, Ivy needs a place, she can't afford to stay in her apartment anymore and I told her that if you still needed a roommate she might be able to stay with you," Karen told her friend with nothing but concern and worry in her voice.

"Of course, I think I've still got Ivy's number so I'll give her a call,"

"Thanks Ana," Karen said before both women said their goodbyes and hung up their respective phones.

"So, it's all sorted then?" Derek asked.

"Yes, now where else are we going to look?" Karen asked.

"Well there's the dressing table and there's also the bedside table," Derek said.

"Right we'll go through both together then," Karen decided aloud and led her husband over to the dressing table, they looked and found nothing but when they went and looked through the first drawer of the bedside table they found six envelopes: one addressed to Derek, one to Karen, one to James, one to James, one to Sarah and one to Grace. The final envelope was unaddressed and the pair assumed that it was the will.

"Maybe we should wait to open them, until Sarah's awake," Derek said calmly.

"You okay?" Karen asked quietly.

"Yeah, just a bit shocked," he said, his voice equally as quiet. Karen decided to leave her husband to himself for a while and went to make a start on dinner.


	35. The Letters

_**A/N – After the last chapter was uploaded one of the reviewers pointed out that Karen may be pregnant I will now announce that Karen Cartwright is NOT pregnant at this current moment in time, her anaemia is caused by the loss of blood she suffered after the accident. I'm sorry for not having made that little bit clear earlier.**_

The next morning, Derek and Karen went to the hospital to see how Sarah was doing and deliver the letters. They were surprised to see that Sarah was awake and responsive and that Dr Mark "The prat" Wallace had left. "Hey guys," Sarah said quite happily.

"You seem happy," Karen said sounding slightly surprised.

"She's doped up on morphine," James told her with a smile and both Karen and Derek laughed remembering Karen's morphine highs after the accident.

"We've found the will along with a letter for each of us, we figured it'd be best to open them together," Derek announced, proceeding to hand out the letter to its respective person. After agreeing that when they opened theirs they would read it.

Derek was the first to open his, it read:

_My dear son,_

_If you've found this I've died and you're looking for my will. So, for your sake this letter will be short and to the point just like you've always preferred. I'm sorry that I had to leave so early but my time has come and one day so will yours. There are a few pieces of advice I want to give you:_

_Remember your own self-worth; you're worth every bit of happiness you get, every single bit._

_You've always pushed people away, especially those close to you so I'm telling you now don't push Karen away or let her go ever, she's good for you, better for you than you'll probably ever know_

_Continue to work hard, never accept a hand out no matter how tempting it may be_

_And finally, no matter what your father says remember that you ARE wonderful and amazing at what you do._

_I know you've probably tried to cut yourself off from everyone and everything, you always were a bit of a drama king, but please don't, if not for me then for Karen._

_With all my love,_

_Mum_

By the time he'd finished reading the letter out, Derek was in tears and Karen had a firm hold on him as he began to cry into her shoulder and so Grace began to read her letter out.

_My darling daughter,_

_Seeing as you're reading this then you know that I've passed away and I am truly sorry to leave you without seeing your wedding. I want you to remember the next few things as you go through life even if it hurts to remember them:_

_Don't settle for second best, you are worth the best and nothing less_

_You were always the child who was cautious so I want you to remember to dream big, as big as you possibly can and try your best to achieve those dreams even if they appear to be impossible_

_Love, love often even when it hurts_

_Lastly, find someone who makes you feel like you're t__nd someone who makes you feel like you'person to achieve those dreams even if they appear to be impossible_

_r and so Grace be__he person you want to be._

_I'm sorry that I didn't get to see you get married or have children of your own, I'm sorry I didn't get to see you meet the man of your dreams and rave about him to me until the cows come home. I'm sorry that I won't be able to have our little chats about love and life, I'm sorry that I won't be able to hug you when you cry but you need to remember that through every little heartbreak, every little moment of happiness I will be watching down on you, making sure that you're okay._

_With love,_

_Mum_

Grace sat their completely numb as she drank in the words she'd just read and so James read his letter.

_My dear boy,_

_I know that these words will be difficult to read, but I ask you to read them anyway. I'm sorry I never got to see my grandchild but I know that you will be an amazing father. I want to impart some wisdom upon you my son and I want you to pay attention to it._

_Love your child unconditionally, although this seems obvious it is the mistake your father made with you and I don't want you to make the same mistake._

_Don't take every one of your child's cries as a personal defeat, it's not._

_You were never good at this but I want you to attempt it anyway: Look at the big picture not just the minor details_

_Don't believe everything you hear, always double check facts, although I've always loved your ability to be gullible, as has your brother, you need to remember that not everything you hear is the truth._

_Take care of Sarah, although I'm sure you're already doing that to the best of your ability even if it's to your detriment. I love you my son._

_Yours,_

_Mum_

James looked away from everyone and Sarah attempted to get out of bed to comfort her husband but found herself being held back by numerous wires and cables and gave up. She reached for the letter, which she'dplaced on the table next to the bed, opened it and began to read.

_Sarah,_

_You and I didn't get along originally, namely because I felt I was losing my son to you when he cancelled dinner to go see you. Then I got to know you and I realised that you are a kind, caring young woman who my son could be proud to call his wife. I know that you will make an amazing mother and I already know that you are an amazing wife. We've only known each other for a few short years but I feel that you have become a friend to me in so many ways and so I tell you the next few things not as your mother-in-law but as your friend._

_Look after yourself, I know that you're probably focussing on James and the baby but you're important too so I suggest that every once in a while you do something just for you_

_Life is short so stop worrying you have plenty of time to do all of the things you want to do_

_The key to success isn't fame, fortune or power it's about how happy you are in life so if you find that you are completely happy THAT is your success_

_Always, always, always know your worth._

_And so I leave you with that advice, something I want you to remember for as long as possible and to tell your children when they are older._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Emmeline_

With that tears began to leak out of Sarah's eyes and down her face, tears that she tried to wipe away and so Karen let go of Derek and began to read.

_Karen,_

_I'm so sorry that I didn't get the chance to know you better but from the few weeks I've known you I got the impression of someone who is incredibly strong yet still fragile, innocent yet worldly. I want to leave you with some advice and some instructions._

_From what I've seen of you, you have very few fears but those fears are what hold you back so I want you to smash your fears to the ground but just remember that fear is all a part of the game._

_I know this advice shouldn't really apply to you as you embody it so fully but you should still remember it all the same. Audrey Hepburn once said "For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are not alone," the first few parts don't really apply but the final part of that quote is the part I want you to remember: you are not alone._

_Love life as much as you can in the words of Mae West "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough,"_

_Nobody is perfect, they never have been nor will they ever be in the words of Marilyn Monroe, the woman you once portrayed "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring,"_

_I want; no I need for you to take care of Derek for me. It's not that he can't take care of himself it's just that he needs to be taken care of every once in a while and you, my dear, are the best person for the job._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Emmeline_

By the end of the letter, Karen had begun to cry and as she looked around the room she noted that there wasn't a single dry eye, each person was taking in the advice given to them in their letter by the late older woman who'd been important to them all. To James, Derek and Grace she was their mother, protector and teacher. To Sarah and Karen, Emmeline was the woman who had given them the love of their lives, the woman who'd taught their men to love and be loved and she'd been the woman to create the men they knew and loved.


	36. The Will

Two days later, Sarah was released from Chelsea and Westminster hospital and a few days later, the family of five visited a lawyer for the reading of the will. They'd opened the unnamed envelope and discovered that it was exactly what they thought it was but had to go to a lawyer to make everything official and so they decided to see an old friend of Derek's from his Cambridge days, Robert, who was believed to be the best family law specialist in the United Kingdom.

The family were called into the lawyer's office where they were greeted with handshakes and in the case of Karen, Sarah and Grace, a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll admit when I heard that Derek had gotten engaged I was shocked," the lawyer told Karen as she went to sit down.

"I'm as shocked as you are, Robert, when I first met him Derek was the definition of a commitment phobe," she said with a laugh which received a laugh in return from both her husband and his friend.

"Anyway let's get down to business,"

So they sat in the office of Robert Jones QC as he read out the will.

_The Last Will and Testament of Emmeline Jane Ramsay_

_This Last Will and Testament is made by me, EMMELINE JANE RAMSAY, of 25a WOODLANDS ROAD EAST, VIRGINIA WATER, SURREY, GU25_

_I do hereby revoke any prior wills and codicils made by me._

_I appoint as executors and trustees of my will Sarah Imogen Wills of 333 Fulham Palace Road, London, SW6 6TE and Karen Natalie Cartwright of 8 West 65__th__ Street Apt PHAB, New York, NY, USA, 10023 and should one fail to or be unable to act I appoint Charles Thomas Wills of 23 Hyde Park Street Apt 4, London, W2. _

_I give (1) the sum of __30,000 to my son JAMES CHARLES WILLS of 333 Fulham Palace Road, London, SW6 6TE. _

_I give (2) my shares in the Dominion Theatre to my son JAMES CHARLES WILLS of 333 Fulham Palace Road, London, SW6 6TE. _

_I give (3) 33.33% of my shares in the London Academy of Performing Arts (also known as LAPA) to my son JAMES CHARLES WILLS of 333 Fulham Palace Road, London, SW6 6TE._

_I give (4) my holiday house, 34A Boulevard de Sebastopol, Paris, France to my son JAMES CHARLES WILLS and his wife SARAH IMOGEN WILLS of 333 Fulham Palace Road, London, SW6 6TE_

_I give (5) the sum of __30,000 pounds to my son DEREK ARTHUR WILLS of 8 West 65__th__ Street Apt PHAB, New York, NY, USA, 10023._

_I give (6) my shares in the Cambridge Theatre to my son DEREK ARTHUR WILLS of 8 West 65__th__ Street Apt PHAB, New York, NY, USA, 10023._

_I give (7) 33.33% of my shares in the London Academy of Performing Arts (also known as LAPA) to my son DEREK ARTHUR WILLS of 8 West 65__th__ Street Apt PHAB, New York, NY, USA, 10023._

_I give (7) my house, 25a Woodlands Road East, Virginia Waters, Surrey, GU25 to my son DEREK ARTHUR WILLS and his fiancée KAREN NATALIE CARTWRIGHT of 8 West 65__th__ Street Apt PHAB, New York, NY, USA, 10023._

_I give (8) the sum of __30,000 pounds to my daughter GRACE AMELIA WILLS of 375 Kensington High Street, Kensington, London, W14 8QH_

_I give (9) my shares in the Victoria Palace Theatre to my daughter GRACE AMELIA WILLS of 375 Kensington High Street, Kensington, London, W14 8QH_

_I give (10) 33.33% of my shares in the London Academy of Performing Arts (also known as LAPA) to my daughter GRACE AMELIA WILLS of 375 Kensington High Street, Kensington, London, W14 8QH_

_I give (11) my villa, Kalyves, Chania, Greece to my daughter GRACE AMELIA WILLS of 375 Kensington High Street, Kensington, London, W14 8QH_

_I give (12) my engagement ring to my daughter GRACE AMELIA WILLS of 375 Kensington High Street, Kensington, London, W14 8QH_

_I give (13) my Sapphire heart pendant and earrings set, along with my sapphire and diamond ring to my daughter-in-law SARAH IMOGEN WILLS of 333 Fulham Palace Road, London, SW6 6TE. _

_I give (14) my Emerald pendant, earrings and ring set to my future daughter-in-law KAREN NATALIE CARTWRIGHT of 8 West 65__th__ Street Apt PHAB, New York, NY, USA, 10023._

_I also wish (12) to set up a fund so that any grandchildren I may have are gifted __10,000 on the day of their birth, this using the remainder of the money available._

_The rest and residue, once taxes, debts and testamentary expenses are paid, are to be divided evenly between JAMES CHARLES WILLS, DEREK ARTHUR WILLS and GRACE AMELIA WILLS. Any disputes over items shall be solved by my executors SARAH IMOGEN WILLS and KAREN NATALIE CARTWRIGHT._

When Robert finished reading the will he looked around the room and saw that there wasn't a dry eye to see "I'll leave you for a few minutes and then we can go through the paperwork that needs to be done,"

Once Robert had left Derek found that he was once again leaning on his wife's shoulder as he cried, it wasn't something he liked doing, crying, mind you no-one ever does, it made him feel like less of a man, like he was weak for being so dependent on his wife but he was glad that she was there for him. Karen pulled her husband in for a hug and he was reminded of how much he loved her as he loved her as he inhaled in the smell of Coco Chanel perfume and Roses, two of the sweetest smells in the world the perfect scent for someone so kind, considerate and loveable.

When Robert eventually walked back into the room with a pile of paperwork, he saw Derek and Karen and smiled, glad that his friend had finally found happiness. He remembered their Cambridge days, the loner that Derek had been back then and how unconfident he'd been with women; it wasn't until the theatre days when Derek had become known as the womanizer. To see the man with someone who seemed to balance him out and comfort him made the lawyer smile, being in family law it was something he didn't see too often.

Robert sat down at his desk and said "Umm, so I've got the paperwork if you want to take a look at it," there was an element of nervousness in his voice as he said it.

Derek broke free from Karen's arms and sat up straight, "This paperwork just says that you accept the will and that you agree to be executors," Robert told Sarah and Karen as he handed them a wad of about 6 sheets of paper. Karen quickly signed without a second thought, as did Sarah.

The rest of the paperwork was explained and signed and before the family left the office Derek asked "How much do I owe you for this?"

"Think of it as a pro-bono mate," Robert told his friend and with that the grieving relatives of Emmeline Ramsay left.


	37. The Return To New York

_**A/N – I realise that in the last chapter I did take a few liberties, like with the premise for the chapter itself in that in the UK it isn't a legal requirement for the will to be read out by a lawyer and I'm not actually sure if there is paperwork for the executors to sign as an acceptance of terms but it kind of worked for narrative reasons.**_

"Promise me you'll Skype us at least once a month," Sarah told her sister-in-law before giving her a hug as they stood in the airport.

"Of course we will and you'll have to send me the pictures from the next scan," Karen told her, it had been two weeks since the will reading and most of that time had been spent packing up Emmeline's stuff or more to the point, persuading Derek, James and Grace to pack up the things.

Karen received a hug from James next as he told her "Look after my little brother,"

Karen looked to her brother-in-law in surprise for a second but quickly recovered "Of course I will and you look after Sarah," she warned.

James chuckled and Karen accepted the brief hug from Grace.

"Love, we've got to go through security, the flight leaves in about half an hour," Derek told his wife and soon enough they were forced into running to get to their flight.

Their flight landed safely, as Derek had expected, and they collected their baggage. They went to the arrivals gate and were surprised to be greeted by Amy, Lily, Julia, Ivy, Ana, Eileen, Tom, Sam, Jessica, Sue, Bobby and Dennis.

"Oh my god," Karen exclaimed, she'd only actually expected to see Julia, Amy and Lily at the airport and the thought that all of these people had come to greet them was quite nice.

"Iowa we've missed you," Bobby said with an excited smile "and of course we've missed the dark lord as well," he added with a laugh.

"It's good to see you guys," Karen replied with a laugh "Although I'm a little surprised to see _all_ of you, I hear the producer of Hit List is a little bit of an ass," the line earned a laugh from Jessica, Sue and surprisingly Eileen laughed at her ex-husband.

"We'll just risk it Iowa," Jessica said.

The group continued to laugh and joke for a few minutes as they walked over to their respective cars with Karen and Derek travelling in Julia's car.

Julia dropped them off outside of their apartment building knowing that they'd want some time alone together in the apartment to sort out things in the apartment. When they got home Karen and Derek breathed a sigh of relief as they saw the familiar surroundings of the place they called home. Karen went and sat down on the couch and looked out at the view of the New York skyline she loved so much. Derek walked over to the phone and played the messages many of them were condolences, there were several from Michael Riedel asking for quotes and several offering Derek money to direct new shows.

Karen went and took a look at the mail that had collected up in a pile on the kitchen workbench. Karen began looking through for anything interesting. There was a letter with her name and the apartment's address handwritten on the envelope, which appeared to be rather bulky, that caught her eye and she opened it. What she found inside the envelope shocked and horrified her. There was a vial of red liquid and a handwritten note which read

_KAREN CARTWRIGHT YOU DESERVE TO DIE YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!_

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed fearfully.

"What's up love?" Derek asked confused and concerned.

She turned to look at him and upon seeing the doe-eyed, Bambi scared in the woods look on her face he rushed over to her. He took one look at the note she still held in her hand and pulled her into his arms. As she wept in his arms he wondered who on earth would want his beautiful, loveable, kind wife dead, it was unlikely to be Jimmy, although prison guards could be persuaded he still knew it was unlikely, there was Dev but he doubted that one, the man had a career in politics to think about. The one thing he was certain about was that he was getting his wife some security, even if she protested, it was the only way he could make sure that she was safe on a close enough to permanent basis. He found that the envelope was on the kitchen bench next to him, grabbed it and took a look at the back. There wasn't a return address on it, this person, whoever he/she was, knew what they were about. Karen continued to sob in Derek's arms and he just held her, knowing that she'd calm down eventually.

After another fifteen minutes of crying, Karen stopped and looked up at Derek "What do we do?" she asked.

"Well I want to get you some security," he announced and watched as she shook her head.

"They're obviously not serious about their threats otherwise they would have done something about it," she said.

"Karen, we lay pretty low while we were in London, there's still a chance that whoever this psycho is will do and I'm not willing to take the risk," he told her firmly.

"You're not going to back down are you?" she asked quietly.

"No," he replied, his voice still firm "And if you receive any more letters we are going to the police about it, this counts as grounds for harassment,"

"Okay," she said softly, she couldn't be bothered arguing the matter with him, she knew he wouldn't give up.

So, Derek went through the rest of the mail as Karen went to sit on the couch and look out at New York skyline. Derek found another letter this one contained what looked like a plastic finger with blood all over it this one read

_I WILL CUT YOU INTO A MILLION PIECES YOU SLUT!_

Derek placed it with the other letter and continued through the mail making sure there wasn't any other letters. He found another one; this one was slim and didn't appear to have anything in it. Derek opened it and was surprised when he found a shard of glass inside it, glad that it hadn't actually cut him he took it out of the envelope and read the note.

_I WILL KILL YOU AND THE LIGHTS OF BROADWAY WON'T DIM FOR YOU, YOU WHORE!_

Every word Derek read was like a dagger being plunged into his chest as he took in the viciousness and malicious nature of the words. 'Who would write such things? Karen Natalie Cartwright, the woman I've loved and adored from the very moment I saw her is the most kind, caring, loveable woman anyone could ever meet, who would want her dead?' he asked himself.

He went through the list of people he knew that she knew in his head: Ivy, the pair had buried the hatchet long ago; Ana, about as unlikely as the end of the world; Sam, too kind and loving; Tom, nope; Julia, the woman didn't have a vicious bone in her body; Jessica, the pair were like sisters; Sue, ditto; Bobby, too gentle a person; Dennis, unlikely; Linda, no woman in their right mind would even consider murdering their own daughter. He didn't even bother considering Amy. Either this was some sick psychopath or Karen had really hurt before he'd met her, something that seemed extremely unlikely. His mind was made up on what he should do: he was going to call Tom and Sam, who, it appeared, had gotten back together, as well as Julia and Ana, get them to come around and keep a watch on Karen whilst Derek went to the police station to see if he could sort the issue out.

The first person he called was Julia "Derek, I didn't expect to hear from you so soon," she said when she picked up.

"Would you mind coming round to keep an eye on Karen for me? Please," he said practically begging.

"Yeah, sure what's up?" she asked slightly suspicious.

"I'll explain when you get here," he told her desperately trying to keep an air of coolness.

He then phoned Sam, Tom and Ana, keeping details to a minimum because of the possibility of phone hacking, and unsurprisingly they all agreed to come round.

When Julia and Ana arrived, at the same time, they walked into the apartment, saw Karen staring out the large window opposite the sofa and both simultaneously asked "What did you do?"

Derek sighed and said "She was going through the post and found a threatening note along with a vial of red liquid, she was in tears for a full fifteen minutes and then I started looking through the rest of the mail and found two more letters, I'm going to go down to police station and see what they can do," he said in an almost whisper.

"Is anyone else coming round?" Ana asked

"Tom and Sam should be round here soon," he said.

Once Tom and Sam arrived, Derek explained the situation again and then he left ready to make hell if the police decided not to do anything.


	38. The Fright

_**A/N – It feels like a while since I updated even though it's only been a day and the reason for that was because my lovely, lovely parents decided that I shouldn't be allowed to write for a day to "make sure that [I] don't turn into a crazy cat lady" as my mother so eloquently put it which, by the way, will never happen namely because I have awesome friends who won't allow it.**_

When Police Officer Taylor finally saw Derek it was 9pm, Derek Wills had been kept waiting for an hour and by god was he annoyed "Mr Wills, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,"

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about something, my fiancé received a few threatening notes in the post and I was wondering what the police could do about it," Derek said sounding slightly frustrated.

"Okay, well then we can go into my office," and Derek was lead into a small office which was occupied by a desk, two chairs and a filing cabinet "Do you have these notes with you?"

"Yes," Derek replied and handed over the black cloth bag which held all three of the notes.

Office Taylor looked through the notes a horrified look appearing on his face as he read them; he'd met Karen Cartwright on several occasions during the investigation into Jimmy Collins prior to his trial and had found her to be a kind-hearted young woman who couldn't hurt a fly, "Well according to New York State Law this is harassment in the first degree which is basically a class B misdemeanour, so if we catch the person who's sending these then we can sentence them to imprisonment but there's no guarantee as to how long,"

"So basically after that we'd have to file for a restraining order," Derek said.

"If you feel that way inclined then yes. Now is there anyone you can think of that might do something like this?"

"There's Jimmy Collins but he's locked up in Sing Sing for twenty odd years so I doubt that. I'll admit the handwriting does look familiar but I just can't place where I know it from," Derek admitted.

"Could it be Jimmy's handwriting?" Officer Taylor asked.

"No, I'd recognise that from a mile away," Derek sighed.

"I'll look into our records and see if I can find any matches and I'll check with some of my FBI contacts as well but until I find a match for the handwriting there's nothing I can do,"

"Okay, well thank you for your time anyway," Derek said with a sigh and then left the room.

"At a push we could provide police protection,"

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Karen was pacing the lounge floor wondering why in the world her husband had taken so long.

"Karen he'll be fine, he's probably gotten stuck in traffic," Tom tried to reassure her.

"Even in heavy traffic it only takes five minutes to get there and it'd only take another 5 minutes to get back," she exclaimed, her voice shaking with fear "What if something's happened to him? What if this psycho, whoever they are, has found him and… and…" she continued before bursting into tears of worry.

"Karen, Derek will be fine, we all know he can throw a punch or two, if anyone ever tried to do anything to him they'd be the one to come worse off," Sam told her as he guided her back to the couch.

None of the people in the room had ever seen Karen so scared or worried. She let her head rest in her hands as she sobbed; Ana and Sam rubbing her back to try and calm her down but it wasn't working. Julia, Ana, Tom and Sam all knew that she wouldn't be able to calm down until Derek arrived back to the apartment, safe and sound.

When the door creaked open about ten minutes later, Karen turned around and when she saw it was Derek she rushed over to him and practically fell into his arms "I was so scared that something had happened to you," she said softly, as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"It's okay, I'm okay, I'm here," he soothed as she sobbed in his arms, he stroked her hair as she cried into his chest until she'd run out of tears.

She let go of him and led him over to where everyone was sat.

"What did the police say?" Julia asked quietly.

"Well apparently until they can figure out who wrote the notes there's not much they can do and even when they do find out whom it is they can only get him on a class B misdemeanour which means they can only imprison him for a short period in time after which we're left to either get a restraining order, which doesn't guarantee anything, or we leave it," Derek explained.

"Right so in theory, the only way of getting him locked up for good is if they actually do something like try to murder one of you," Tom said sounding appalled at the thought of it.

"Basically, yes," Derek said quietly.

"So what? Karen's supposed to live in the fear of something actually happening until they catch this psycho?" Ana shouted sounding horrified.

"Well the police _have _agreed to provide protection for a while, until we're actually able to get some security," Derek announced.

An hour later, Julia, Tom, Sam and Ana left, feeling ever-so-slightly more comfortable with the situation their friend had been placed in and Karen and Derek sat on the couch for a while.

"How about we go to bed?" Derek suggested, knowing that they both needed the sleep.

"Okay," Karen sighed and Derek scooped her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. He lay her down on the bed and got in after her wrapping his arms around her "What if the police protection isn't enough?" she asked fearfully "What if instead of coming after me, whoever this psycho is goes after you?"

"I don't know love, but we'll think of something," he said and with that they both fell asleep.

The next morning Karen woke up and went downstairs to make coffee, she had heavy bags under her eyes from the fitful sleep she'd had the night before. Just as she was turning the coffee pot on, the phone rang. She picked it up and all she could hear was the sound of heavy breathing so she hung up. 'Must be a prank call,' she thought to herself. Then the phone rang again and she picked it up "THANK YOU FOR PICKING UP KAREN CARTWRIGHT. NOW JUST REMEMBER THAT I _WILL _KILL YOU," said a computerized voice.

"Who the hell are you?" Karen shouted, her voice shaking with fear.

"SOMEONE YOU'VE PISSED OFF," the voice said again "AND NOT EVEN THE POLICE WILL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU. YOUR LOVELY FIANCE WILL BE IN MOURNING FOREVER," and then she heard a maniacal laugh.

"You're crazy, that's all you are you're a psychopathic bastard," she said her voice filled with fear.

"I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST VERY ANGRY!" the voice exclaimed loudly.

At that point Derek came into the kitchen and upon seeing the look of sheer terror on his wife's face he grabbed the phone "Listen here, you little weasel, if you continue to harass Karen I swear to god I will beat you to a pulp, you got that?" Derek shouted, there was silence on the other end of the line and Derek hung up the phone "You okay?" he asked Karen.

"Yeah just a little freaked out," she said her voice shaking slightly; at that admission he pulled her into a big hug and kissed her forehead.

"I'll get the number changed," he told her.

"No," she said, shaking her head at the offer.

"But it'll prevent the harassment," he said.

"Yeah, but the cops could still trace the number to the location the call was made from and therefore catch the psycho," she said quietly.

"Beautiful and intelligent, how did I ever get so lucky to marry a girl like you?" he said sweetly.

"You understood love," she told him with a smile.


	39. The Phone Call

_**A/N – I love that everyone who has reviewed the last chapter is guessing who Karen's psychopath stalker is and I can tell you that within the next few chapters you will know.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own SMASH or The Great Gatsby, the former belongs to Teresa Rebeck, Steven Spielberg and unfortunately Joshua Safran, the latter belongs to the family of F. Scott Fitzgerald**_

It had been two weeks since the first phone call and no-one was any closer to finding out who the psycho was. The phone calls were being made from burner cells which made them basically untraceable and the letters which continued to arrive had no return address. Karen had been in police protection for the entirety of those two weeks and she was beginning to resent it. It wasn't that she disliked the officers assigned to her, they were good, kind people, but she felt claustrophobic and it annoyed her that her friends couldn't visit or come near her without going through what felt like airport security.

On the bright side, they'd finally cast the principle actors for the Great Gatsby and rehearsals for the debut at Manhattan Theatre Workshop were about to begin. She'd met Daniel Johnson, who was to play Gatsby, twice, he was from a Dayton, Ohio and seemed nice enough but Karen still felt it was going to be difficult to play a character who was hopelessly in love with him; there was something about him that made it difficult. Derek and Julia had cast T.R. Knight as Nick Carraway and the decision had been made to cut Meyer Wolfsheim out as a character because he didn't add much to the play itself. Ivy was cast as Myrtle Wilson, that was until she went on maternity leave when Jessica would move from Hit List to Gatsby and take over the role, and Dennis had moved from Bombshell's ensemble to playing George Wilson.

The whole cast were assembled at Manhattan Theatre Workshop for the first day of rehearsals, Karen practically knew the blocking for each character after having seen Derek work it out in their living room. The first scene to be rehearsed for the day was going to be the scene with Daisy and Nick talking about her daughter and so Karen and T.R. were required first

"We don't know each other very well Nick, even if we are cousins. You weren't at my wedding," Karen said in her best version of a light southern accent.

"I was still in the middle of the war,"

"That's true, well to tell the truth I've had a rather bad time of it and now I'm afraid I'm somewhat cynical about it all,"

"How is your daughter? I presume she talks and… eats and everything,"

"Yes, would you like to hear what I said when she was born?"

"Of course," T.R. said with a nod.

"I warn you it'll show you how I feel about… everything. She wasn't even an hour old and Tom, well he was lord knows where. I woke up out of the sleep with a completely abandoned feeling and I asked the nurse whether I'd had a boy or a girl and she told me that I'd given birth to a daughter so I turned my head away and wept. All right I said I'm glad it's a girl and I hope she'll be a fool – that's honestly the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool," Karen said wistfully.

"Karen it needs to be a light southern accent not full blown hillbilly southern accent," Derek yelled "Run it again!"

They ran it three times before Derek was satisfied and called for a ten minute break "And you're still engaged to him?" T.R. asked Karen quietly.

"Work is work and home is home," she replied equally as quiet. Just then Karen's phone rang and she picked up "Karen Cartwright speaking,"

"STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHO I AM YET I SEE," came the same computerized voice she'd heard on several occasions.

"How did you get a hold of my mobile phone number?" she asked timidly.

"OOH WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU KAREN CARTWRIGHT, WELL YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT YOU," came the voice.

"Who the hell are you?" she demanded in what was almost a shriek.

"GETTING SCARED NOW? YOU SHOULD BE, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE MISS CARTWRIGHT. MANHATTAN THEATRE WORKSHOP ISN'T FAILSAFE YOU KNOW, AND YOUR SECURITY WILL BE EASY TO GET PAST,"

"What the hell did I ever do to you?" Karen yelled down her phone.

Everyone stopped and stared at Karen and upon noticing the look of terror, they all rallied around her. "YOU DID SOMETHING SO TERRIBLE TO ME THAT I DON'T EVEN CARE TO RECOUNT IT YOU BITCH!" Karen's mind was sent whirring at that one thought, she didn't even know what she'd done or to whom she'd done it to.

"Look I don't want any trouble, surely we… we can work s-something out," she pleaded with a shaky voice.

"YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU? YOU SCREWED UP MY LIFE AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!" the voice shouted before there was a loud, long beep signalling that the phone had hung up.

"Karen, are you okay?" Ivy asked worriedly.

"Karen what's wrong?" Ana asked anxiously.

"I'll be fine, just… just excuse me for a minute," she said and she pushed past everyone and ran into the cast and crew's break area where she proceeded to burst into tears on the couch.

"I'll just go make sure she's okay," Derek said before following her. When he saw her in tears it almost broke his heart, he knew they weren't tears of sadness or joy they were tears of sheer terror and fear and that made him feel even worse "Hey," he tried.

"Hey," Karen said as she dried her eyes.

"It was them wasn't it?" he asked, wanting confirmation of what he'd already guessed.

"Yes, I just wished I knew who _they _are," she said, the desperation obvious in her tone.

"So do I love, so do I," Derek told her as he pulled her into a hug. He wanted her to feel safe and she'd once told him that being in his arms made her feel safer than anywhere else. He kissed her forehead then asked "What did they say to you?"

"They said that they know where I am, that Manhattan Theatre Workshop isn't failsafe, that my security will be easy to get past, that I screwed up their life and that I'm going to pay. I can't for the life of me think of what I could have done to deserve this but I can't think of anything at all," she said before bursting into tears once again.

There was a knock at the door and Julia poked her head through the door, "Can I come in?" she asked.

Karen quickly wiped her eyes before squeaking "Yes,"

"I've sent everyone home for today, but Ana, Ivy, Amy and Dennis are refusing to leave until they know you're okay,"

"I don't think I'll be okay until this person quits harassing me but they can come in anyway," she said feeling a little happier at the thought of how much her friends cared for her.

Julia ushered Ivy, Dennis, Amy and Ana into the room and they stood unsure as to what to say "What's wrong?" Ivy asked sounding especially troubled by what she'd seen unravel.

"When we got back from London there were several threatening notes that had been mailed to me and Derek got the police involved hence the huge influx in police activity around me over the last two weeks .The day after I got the notes there was a phone call from somebody who we assume is the same person and that phone call just before was from the same person," Karen explained.

"Oh my god Broadway why didn't you tell us?" Amy said using the nickname she'd given her best friend during high school.

"Because I thought it would just die down," Karen said regretfully

"The police had a wire-tap on our phone for a while but it wasn't worth it because the calls just come from a burner cell and it's pointless trying to trace the notes because there's never an address on the back of the envelope, but I'm sure I recognise the handwriting from somewhere I just don't know where," Derek explained.

"How about we go back to ours and we can take a look at them again," Karen suggested.

"Okay," Derek replied.

When they all got back to Karen and Derek's apartment the group waited on the couch whilst Derek grabbed the most recent note. Julia stared at it for a few moments until it clicked in her mind "Yeah I think I know this handwriting too, I think it had something to do with Bombshell," she said.

"What about Eileen's old assistant? What was his name?" Dennis asked

"His name was Ellis, I could have sworn I saw him and Eileen having an argument on the day of your first preview as Marilyn, something about how he should get a say as a producer and then he mentioned that he was the one who put peanuts in Rebecca's smoothie," Ivy said.

"And then his ex-girlfriend told me that he'd gotten that job working for Jerry as an informant for Bombshell and I told Eileen," Karen said.

"Which is why Eileen, Katie and I ended up spending hours looking through Bombshell's paperwork so that we could find the loophole that meant that Jerry couldn't produce it," Julia finished.

"Guys you do realise this is all speculation, it's never gonna hold up in a court or with the police," Ana told them.


	40. The Loss

_**A/N – So I spent so much time writing and enjoying writing over the past two weeks that I'd completely forgotten to do my homework hence the reason there wasn't an update yesterday. By the way I am loving the response I've gotten over the past few chapters, but all is not resolved just yet with Karen's stalker (I can safely call them that).**_

"There was just so much blood," Derek said as Julia sat down beside him in the hospital waiting room.

"It'll all be okay," she told her friend, she sort of wished she'd been able to spare him the pain of finding the love of his life in such a condition in her dressing room.

_A few hours earlier_

_It had been three months since the phone call during rehearsal and it was the Great Gatsby's opening night on Broadway. There hadn't been any phone calls or letters since the phone call during rehearsal and so Karen and Derek had made the decision to get rid of all security. There was about an hour and a half before show time and Karen was doing her make-up before she changed into her costume. It was one of those times when she could just think and be alone, back during the days of Bombshell she'd used it to try and figure out where she'd gone wrong with Dev and during the days of Hit List she'd used it to thank god that she was alive after being hit by that car. Now she used the time to think of Derek, thoughts that always made her smile 'How do I tell him?' she thought to herself with a big, beaming smile, she'd only found out that morning and wanted some big, grand gesture as to how she'd tell him. _

_There was a knock at the door and Karen turned to see her mother's old friend, Annabelle, the same old friend whose husband Karen had dated as a teenager. Annabelle had her hands behind her back but that had been a behavioural trait that Karen knew the older woman had and so she didn't suspect a single thing. "Annabelle, I haven't seen you in years how've you been?" Karen asked happily, not even seeing the wife of her ex was going to bring her off the high of happiness she was on._

"_Oh I've not been too bad, I found out that Robert's been cheating on me though," the older woman replied._

"_Oh, well that's too bad," Karen said trying not to sound too surprised._

"_Yeah, I was surprised too, especially to find out that you'd been one of the _whores _he'd cheated on me with," Annabelle said, this was all just the lead up._

"_I'll admit we went out, but I had no idea, absolutely no idea that he was your husband until after it ended, I promise you," Karen said, suddenly scared of what this woman might do._

"_I'm surprised that you didn't keep up the security after all of those notes and phone calls, even if they did stop" Annabelle told her viciously._

"_How do you know about those?" Karen asked and suddenly her mind was sent whirring, was Annabelle the person who'd been behind it all? "It was you wasn't it?"_

_Suddenly Annabelle brought out a knife from behind her back, lunged forward and plunged it into Karen's stomach. "Well, I actually paid your little friend Ellis to write the notes, but the phone calls were me yes," Karen felt herself forced forward as Annabelle withdrew the knife, took a step back and then lunged forward again plunging the knife into Karen's chest. She removed the knife and as Karen fell to the floor she ran from the room hoping to make a quick escape._

'_Breathe, breathe,' Karen thought to herself 'You have to breathe,' she lay on the floor for fifteen minutes before Derek walked into the room. His eyes bulged in disbelief as he rushed to his wife's side. There was blood everywhere and he had no clue what to do "Derek, I, I love you," she said, it was barely a whisper._

"_Karen, you don't get to say that because you're not going to die, you got that? You are not going to die on me today," he said to her, almost in tears as he said it "We're, we're going to have such an amazing life together, you and me and our three or four kids and the massive collection of Tonys you're going to win and I know that because you _are not _going to die!" he told her allowing himself to cry "Can we get some help in here?" he yelled and Ana came rushing in wearing her first outfit for the show._

"_Hey I heard you yelling and… oh my god I'm calling an ambulance," she said running back to her dressing room to grab her phone. She ran back into the room and was on the phone "My friend, Karen Cartwright I… I don't know what… what happened, there's just so much blood," she said sounding panicked. _

_Soon enough the paramedics arrived and Karen was loaded into the ambulance while Derek held her hand, as soon as they got to the hospital she was rushed into surgery and Derek was left sitting in the waiting room._

"Derek Wills?" a doctor in dark green scrubs called, there was a sombre expression on his face as he saw Derek stand up and walk towards him.

"Yes, h-how is she?" Derek asked he was once again on the brink of tears.

"We had to remove Karen's appendix in order to prevent any further internal damage, luckily the stab wound to her chest didn't actually hit any vital organs but there is something else," the doctor took a sharp intake of breath before saying what needed to be said "Your fiancé was pregnant when the attack happened,"

"Was, w-what do you mean was?" Derek asked slightly confused.

"I'm sorry but despite our best efforts she lost the baby," and the doctor watched Derek Wills breakdown in front of his eyes, with a total eleven words the director's world had come crashing down on him "Karen is currently in the ICU but I can take you to see her if you'd like,"

Derek followed the doctor to Karen's room and he saw her attached to several wires and cables, a needle stuck in her hand. He sat at her bedside and once the doctor had left he burst into tears with her hand in his. He stayed like that for a while until he heard a groggy "Derek?"

Derek quickly thanked god and whatever other deities he had to thank for her survival before saying "I'm here love, God I was so scared,"

"W-what about the baby?" she asked worriedly.

"W-we lost it," he told her with tears in his eyes and as Karen began to cry he enveloped her in his arms, kissed her forehead and stroked her back.

They stayed like that for fifteen minutes before she was able to say, quite weakly "It-it was Annabelle that did it,"

"What?" Derek asked, confused.

"The-the notes that was Ellis, well she paid him to do that, but the phone calls, the actual stabbing it was all Annabelle,"

"Who's Annabelle?" he asked still confused.

"She was a friend of my mum, Elizabeth's, and when I was a teenager I dated her husband, at the time I didn't realise that he was her husband, at least n-not until mum saw us at a play one day and we broke it off but obviously Annabelle found out recently about it and she must have been hell bent on revenge," Karen said regretfully "I've screwed it all up again haven't I?"

"You haven't screwed up anything love, what we do in the past shouldn't affect our future but this one did and we'll live with it, Annabelle is obviously deranged but the police will find her and sort her out okay?" Derek said reassuringly.

"I had a feeling it was a girl, the baby I mean, I had this vision of this blonde teenage girl going on a date with a boy and you going all over-protective dad over the whole situation," she said with a slight laugh.

He chuckled and said "I can imagine that, what do you think we'd have named her?"

"I was thinking of Abigail, I would have liked Emmeline but that's what Sarah and James wanted to name their daughter once she's born, but I liked the sound of Brittany as well," she said.

"I like the sound of those too, Abigail Brittany Wills, she'd have been as kind-hearted and as beautiful as her mother," he said

"And probably as bossy as her dad,"

"I'd have taken her to every one of the shows you performed in,"

"And I'd have taken her to see every single one you directed,"

"We could have a little funeral for her at some point, just you and me in Central Park or somewhere like that," he said.

"I'd like that," Karen said quietly.


	41. The Aftermath

_**A/N – Wow, I got such an amazing response from the last chapter and I'll admit that it was difficult to write but somehow I felt it was a necessity to make it slightly more difficult for Karen and Derek to have a child. I also realise that I've not really updated in a while but I've been back at school and my mum just gave birth to a little boy so I have a baby brother as well so I haven't really had time for my constant writing as I have for the past couple of weeks so for that I am really honestly sorry.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Smash or E! News.**_

_Abigail Brittany Wills_

_April 2014 – June 2014_

_Beloved Daughter of Karen Natalie Cartwright and Derek Arthur Wills_

_Taken too soon_

That was what the grave stone of Karen and Derek's unborn daughter read, they'd decided to give her a proper funeral a few days after Karen was released from hospital. Grace had come over from London, Karen's parents had travelled into New York from Des Moines and the couple's Broadway family had decided to gather for the small funeral in New York City Marble Cemetery.

The opening night for The Great Gatsby had been postponed until a point in time when both Karen and Derek felt they were able to return to work. Karen wanted to return to normality, or as close to it as she could get, as quickly as possible which meant that as soon as the recommended two weeks were up she would be back to work. They both wanted life to return to as normal as possible but the looks of sympathy they received from everyone didn't really help.

Every attempt had been made to find Annabelle, Elizabeth and Roger had searched the entirety of Des Moines for her along with the police and the NYPD were out in full force trying to find the almost-murderer but nothing came up.

The night after the funeral, Karen had fallen asleep although she continuously tossed and turned.

_Annabelle walked towards Karen with a look of such malice and cruelty in her eyes as she looked at the younger woman. "Annabelle, I… I swear I didn't know he was your husband until it was over," Karen said fearfully._

"_Sure you did," was the sarcastic reply as she continued forward, the silver knife inches away from Karen's stomach._

"_No, no, No!"_

"No, no, no!" Karen's screams woke Derek with a start.

"Karen, it's okay, it's just a dream, it's just a dream," Derek soothed as Karen cried into his shoulder.

"I… I dreamt that she w-was back and sh-she wanted to kill me and… and I couldn't defend myself," she said in between sobs.

Derek just continued to hold her and stroke her long brown hair as she cried, he so desperately wanted to help her and he figured that she needed to return to work as soon as possible so that she had the possibility of returning to normal, the doctor had recommended two weeks off. He'd also recommended that she go back to seeing Dr Spencer on a weekly basis. He knew that Karen was blaming herself for the loss of Abigail but he couldn't blame her, if anything he blamed himself for not walking into her dressing room at an earlier point in the night of those events or if they'd kept the security for a little longer. He kept thinking of how he could have done something earlier, rerunning the events in his head to see what he could have done to change the events somehow. They'd both been told by everyone they knew that it wasn't their fault, that someone should have realised Annabelle didn't belong in the theatre at the time she was there, Elizabeth said she should have realised something was wrong with Annabelle before the events but of course no-one was allowing her to take the blame and so Karen and Derek blamed themselves.

The next morning, Karen woke up with a headache; she blamed the combination of a lack of sleep and the amount of crying she'd done in Derek's arms after the nightmare. She tip-toed down the stairs, knowing that Derek was still asleep, and went to the kitchen and began to make herself a cup of coffee.

As the coffee pot boiled, she began to think. She knew that she needed help and she planned to go back to seeing Dr Spencer before she started work again. The thought of setting foot in the dressing room where she'd been attacked, where she'd lost her child, scared the living daylights out of her but she was determined for her life to go back to normal. Once the coffee pot had finished boiling she poured what coffee there was into a mug, added some milk and took a sip just as she went to sit down on the couch. She flicked on the TV and before she could actually look at the screen she heard Giuliana Rancic's voice saying "I'm stood here at New York City Marble Cemetery where just yesterday famed Broadway director and his fiancé, Tony winner Karen Cartwright, held a small funeral for the child the world never got to meet, Abigail Brittany Wills. This a little over a week after Karen was attacked by an as yet unnamed woman on the scheduled opening night of the Great Gatsby which was written by Julia Houston and was to star Hit List alum Ana Vargas, former Grey's Anatomy actor T.R. Knight and Bombshell star Ivy Lynn…"

"Stupid bloody woman," Karen heard herself shout at the screen "Who the hell do you think you are Mrs Rancic?" she continued in anger.

Hearing Karen's shouts, Derek walked down the stairs and asked "Karen are you okay?"

"Look at this, just look," she said, her voice slightly high pitched with anger.

"… and it has been reported that Karen Cartwright is currently in a state of depression, reportedly not even leaving her house bar yesterday. It has also been reported by a source close to the couple that the pair are arguing and it is unlikely that they will be together for much longer,"

"How dare she? How dare she even say such a thing?" Karen continued to rage at the TV screen "I am going to get my lawyers on that woman's ass so fast she won't believe what hit her!" she exclaimed.

"Love, although I don't approve or condone our private lives being splashed in front of the whole world suing certainly isn't going to help," Derek told her calmly.

"It's an invasion of our privacy! It's totally illegal and if it's not then it should be! In fact I'm fairly sure that under the Constitution we have a right to privacy," she ranted.

"Yes but there's also Freedom of the Press to be considered which is under the Declaration of Human Rights love. Unfortunately it can be argued either way," he told her still managing to keep his calm tone.

"Why do you have to be so goddamned neutral? This isn't just my life they're invading it's yours too!"

"Yes but you forget Karen, I'm used to this, it'll all blow over in a couple of days and we can go back to normal, okay?"

"No, it's not okay! I'm pissed off it is my constitutional right to have privacy!" she declared.

"Whatever you say love," Derek sighed with a smirk on his face.

"Oh my god! Quit being so passive Derek Wills!" she said with a laugh "And quit smirking like that you know I can't resist it,"

"I know you can't which is exactly why I do it," he said continuing to smirk.

"I'm-I'm not exactly coping too well am I?" Karen said in a serious tone "W-with the incident I mean,"

"No not really, but I'm not either" he replied giving her the god's honest truth.

"Maybe I should go and see Dr Spencer again," she sighed.

"I think you probably should," he told her with a sigh equally as deep as hers.


	42. The Start of Healing

_**A/N – I'm so, so, so sorry for this being so late, I'd actually finished the chapter a few days ago, after much struggle, and I'd saved it onto my memory stick but now I can't find said memory stick so this is based on what I can remember about what I'd written.**_

"And how do you feel about that?" Dr Spencer asked Karen for the fiftieth time within the hour-long appointment.

"Like I've failed not just myself and mine and Derek's child but also Derek. We'd talked about having kids a few times but I didn't have the strength to make our child hold on," she replied with tears in her eyes.

"Look Karen, statistically speaking it would have been a miracle if Abigail had survived, you know that. It isn't your fault that this happened to you, okay?" the psychiatrist tried to reassure her.

"But don't you see? It is my fault because I went out with Robert all those years ago," she said before sinking her head into her hands. She now understood what Rebecca Duvall had meant those two short years ago in Boston. It was also beginning to dawn on her the true heartbreak that Marilyn Monroe had dealt with was more than anybody could handle without going just a little bit mental. No-one could truly survive the tragedy of losing a child without help from a doctor.

"But you said that you didn't know that Robert was married to Annabelle?"

"I-I didn't, n-not until t-the relationship-p, if y-you could call it t-that, ended," she said through tears.

"Shall we move onto something else? Derek says you're not singing?" Dr Spencer asked, noting that having Karen in tears would not be a good idea.

"I just don't feel like it's right, I don't think there's a song for this sort of thing," she said wryly "I used to sing my feelings out all the time, if I was sad I'd just find a piano or a guitar and sing, my parents used to hate it with a passion. They said I wasn't dealing with things properly or something like that. The last time I fully sang my feelings out was after Dev and I split up," she said and looked reflectively as the memory came into her mind.

_Karen sat at the grand piano in the small, empty bar she'd walked into. Nobody was there, Bobby, Jessica, Dennis and Sue were at some club in the centre of town; Ivy was still in the hospital with Sam and Tom at her side. Derek, Eileen and Julia were having a production meeting at some fancy restaurant in the city centre, Karen was completely alone, it was her first moment of isolation since being in Boston. Her hands began to move across the keys as she began the intro. She began to sing, her voice fragile but still strong._

"Who says it's over just because

You're too afraid to say it's not?

So where does that leave me?

What part of being torn apart

Makes even any sense to you

At all, 'cause I don't see

I need to hear in black and white

That you don't need me, now"

_She allowed her voice to break slightly as searing hot tears leaked out of her eyes._

Say you don't want me

That it's not like it was for you before

Say you don't love me

I'll turn around and walk right out the door

And let you go

I'm ready for the very worst

If that's the best you have to give

To me, well, I'll deal with that

As long as there's a little doubt

As long as you don't say out loud

Those words that I fear the most

_In one fluid motion her hands played the bridge on the piano as the tears continued to fall._

So here's your chance

Fly or fall, take a stand, show it all

Say you don't want me

That it's not like it was for you before

Say you don't love me

I'll turn around and walk right out the door

And let you go

But until you, you say that you

Wish I wasn't close enough to reach

There won't be a day where you can't say

Please, hold me, that I won't be there

I won't be there for you, that I won't be there

Say you don't want me

That it's not like it was for you before

Say you don't love me

I'll turn around and walk right out the door

And let you go

I'll turn around and walk right out the door

And let you go, and let you go

_As she finished the song, the barman and his very few patrons began to applaud and she looked up to see that Derek had entered, making her nervous. Either it was a coincidence or planned, she hoped for the former as she began to play the intro to How, something she'd written after Caroline's suicide._

They say  
Get up out of that bed turn the lights on  
Gotta try to forget where it went wrong  
Don't you beat yourself up asking questions  
Love's gonna come your way again, oh

They say  
Step outside of your door let the light in  
You never really escape when you hide in  
All I want is to be set free  
From this pain that is haunting me

Can you tell me how?  
When I am looking down and all hope is over  
Can you tell me how?  
Ten million pieces of my heart to put back together  
If I could I'd take hold of myself  
Pull me out of this living hell  
Can you tell me how?  
Can you tell me how?

They say  
If you open your heart to the healing  
Time will take all those scars you've been wearing  
Please don't tell me how I should be feeling  
I'm not sure I even want to try, oh

They say  
You just gotta let go and move on  
You're only hurting yourself when you hold on  
All I want is to lose this pain  
Every drop of it washed away, yeah

Can you tell me how?  
When I am looking down and all hope is over  
Can you tell me how?  
Ten million pieces of my heart to put back together  
If I could I'd take hold of myself  
Pull me out of this living hell  
Can you tell me how?  
Can you tell me how?

How do I leave this love behind, how?  
Can you tell me how?

Quite suddenly she was brought out of the memory by something that Dr Spencer had asked "I'm sorry what did you say? I was off in the distance for a couple of seconds there," she apologised.

"I was just asking whether it worked,"

"Yeah, it did actually," she told him.

"Well, I'm going to give you two things to do before next week, one: I want you to sing at least one song and two: I want you to do at least one interview," the recommendation seemed reasonable to Karen and so she took the offer and left the office and onto the road to the awaiting paparazzi.

She immediately hailed a taxi and got in it. Once inside it she phoned Derek who, she knew, would be worried as the therapy session had overrun by a quarter of an hour. On the third ring, Derek picked up "Hey babe," Karen said casually.

"Therapy overran?" he asked sounding slightly worried.

"Yeah, hey I think maybe we should do an interview, maybe then we'll stop being harassed by the paparazzi," she suggested "Maybe Richard Frances would be willing to do something?"

"Okay, at least we can trust Richard to do a good article, I'll put in the call shall I?" he said.

"Okay," the conversation ended soon after and five minutes after that Karen was forced to get out of the taxi and face the hummed tune of questions from the paparazzi.

"Karen is it true that you and Derek are on the road to Splitsville?" one asked.

"Splitsville? Is that a place? I've never been," she replied playfully earning a laugh.

"What about the rumours that you're pregnant once again?" another one, this one ten times more intrusive, requested.

"Completely false," she said "Now if you have any more questions I'm sure you can wait for answers but I'd like to be able to head up to my apartment if you don't mind," and with that she rushed off and into the apartment building breathing a sigh of relief.

_Sitting in the Imperial Theatre with Broadway actress Karen Cartwright and her fiancé, famed Broadway director Derek Wills, you get the sense that a great tragedy has definitely befallen the usually private couple who granted Richard Frances access to their lives after the attack by Annabelle Robertson backstage in the very same theatre, just a few short weeks ago._

_**Richard Frances: **__How does it feel to be back in this theatre?_

_**Karen Cartwright: **__It's saddening really, this is the place where I lost our child and it's the place where I almost lost my life. I always used to think of the theatre as a sacred place but between the attack and what happened with Jimmy I don't think it'll ever be that for me again._

_**Derek Wills: **__It's weird because I keep envisioning what I saw when I came into Karen's dressing room and to be honest it scares me._

_**RF: **__Karen you mentioned Jimmy, and I'm sure we heard the majority of what went down with him at the trial but can you tell me, how did you feel being abused like that by someone you loved?_

_**KC: **__First thing's first, looking back on it I don't think I ever truly loved Jimmy, I think it was more of an attraction thing really but it still hurt more than many people would ever like to know. It's one of those things that you don't even attempt to imagine until it happens to you, I suppose. I'll admit that I trusted Jimmy before it all happened but now I think I was foolish. Then again, hindsight is a wonderful thing._

_**RF: **__Now onto brighter things, Karen, you've played some icons, Marilyn Monroe, Amanda and now Daisy Buchanan, how does that feel?_

_**KC: **__I suppose the only difference is that I have a tad more money and more people following me around. I owe all of my success to my fiancé here; if it wasn't for Derek's never ending belief in me I wouldn't be where I am today but at the same time I'm still the same girl from Iowa who loves to pad around the apartment in short shorts and a T-shirt. There's the glamorous side of things which, don't get me wrong, I love but still I'd prefer a little bit of privacy. Listen to me I sound like a whiny little bitch, I've achieved my dream I shouldn't complain. The characters that I've gotten to play have been really awesome, in light of recent events I identify with Marilyn far more than I ever wanted and I think that no-one could survive losing a child like she did without going a little bit crazy, although I don't think she was crazy just misunderstood. Daisy is innocent but in such a cynical way, the innocence I've been able to identify with since before I came to New York but the cynicism is something I'll never truly understand. Amanda is the character that allowed me to combine the innocence with the heartbreak I suppose but her ending was so tragic._

_**RF: **__Derek, how does it feel to be engaged to a star?_

_**DW: **__Bloody fantastic, Karen is one in 7 billion, if you get what I mean. I don't think I'll ever find someone like her again so I'm going to do my best to hang onto her._

_**RF: **__One last question, are there any regrets?_

_**KC: **__Of course I have regrets regarding my career, but what I have with Derek I wouldn't trade it for the world._

_**DW: **__If I regret anything, it's that I was such a womanizer in the past because if I wasn't, maybe Karen and I would have gotten together earlier._

_**A/N – Just another note from me, the first song from the flashback was Let You Go by Jason Walker as covered by Katharine McPhee and the other was How by Katharine McPhee, I'll start putting the links to the songs on my profile page.**_


	43. The Birth

_**A/N – I realise that this is another chapter set in a hospital but this one has a happier ending than some of the others that have been set in hospitals.**_

A week after the New York Times interview, Karen was woken in the middle of the night by a phone call from Ana "Swear to god Ana, if you are drunk and need somebody to pick you up from some seedy bar, I am NOT coming to get you," she groaned groggily.

Anan laughed nervously before saying "Ivy's gone into pre-term labour and she wants you to meet her at the hospital,"

Karen sat up, suddenly alert "Which hospital?" she asked, worried for her friend.

"New York Presbyterian," Ana replied as calmly as possible.

"Okay, I'll meet you guys there," Karen said as she leapt out of bed, not realising that she'd woken Derek in the process.

"Where are you going love?" he asked sleepily.

"Ivy went into labour so I'm going to the hospital," she told him as she pulled a T-shirt over her head.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll take you," Derek told her as she pulled on the same pair of jeans that she'd worn that day.

"Are you sure?" she asked knowing about Derek's dislike of hospitals.

"Yeah," he told her a re-assuring tone to his voice.

True to his word, Derek was ready in a few minutes and the pair were in his SUV on the way to the hospital. Throughout the whole journey, Derek found himself drawing circles with his finger on the back of Karen's hand, neither person knew what kind of condition Ivy would be in.

When they arrived, they were met by Ana who told them that Ivy had already been admitted but that only family were allowed to see her. On instinct, Karen walked over to the front desk and asked "Can you tell me which room Ivy Lynn was brought to?"

The nurse gave her a quick once-over followed by a look of disgust and announced "You can't go in unless you're immediate family,"

Karen almost threw a fit when she heard Derek say "I'm Ivy's brother-in-law and this is Ivy's sister, my wife,"

The nurse told them the floor and room number and Karen breathed a sigh of relief as they got into the elevator and pushed the button for the floor. When they got to Ivy's room, they heard Ivy yelling for an epidural and Karen swiftly pushed the door open and walked into the room "Karen, thank god you're here. Can you tell these assholes to give me an epidural?"

"Ivy the epidural in and you're allergic to that" Karen said simply before turning to the three doctors who stood at the foot of Ivy's bed "Can't you give her some Demerol or something?"

"Yes, I'm assuming that you're the next of kin?" a female doctor with flaming red hair asked to which Karen responded with a nod, remembering what Derek had told the nurse at the front desk "Can we talk outside?"

"Sure," Karen said quietly. Once they'd stepped outside Karen said "Okay, so seeing as you want to talk to me outside I'm guessing something's wrong, so what is it?"

"The baby is in the transverse position which means that we have to do a C-Section but Miss Lynn is refusing," the flame-haired doctor replied.

"I'm guessing that you're only residents so I will make myself very clear: Ivy is your patient and unless there is evidence of insanity, which there isn't, then I will make the decision but until then you can bloody well attempt to persuade her!" Karen roared before storming back into the delivery suite and telling Ivy "You're right, they are assholes," then inspiration struck her and she remembered that her cousins was an obstetric surgeon in New Jersey and would probably be able to help.

She stepped outside, took her phone out of her jacket pocket and began searching through her contacts for Amanda George's phone number. Once it was found, Karen dialled the number and hoped and prayed that her cousin would pick up.

"Hello?" came Amanda's familiar voice.

"Amanda, it's Karen, do you think you could come into New York?" asked the brunette.

"Sure, wait are you pregnant? Are the stories the paparazzi publishing true?" Amanda asked, her voice a mixture of concern and surprise.

"No, my friend, Ivy, is in labour and apparently the baby's transverse and the doctors at New York Presbyterian are completely incompetent," Karen pronounced.

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can," Amanda said before hanging up.

Karen walked back into Ivy's room and breathed a sigh of relief as she shut the door "I've got you a new doctor," Karen announced.

"How?" Ivy asked before screaming at another contraction.

"My cousin is an Obstetric Surgeon in New Jersey, she's flying in as soon as she can,"

"Okay, thank you," Ivy said softly "Look I wanted to ask you if you'd be the baby's godmother? I was going to ask a couple of weeks ago but then…" she trailed off figuring that the subject was still sensitive for Karen.

"The attack happened. I'd love to be the baby's godmother," Karen told her friend with a beaming smile "Have you thought of what you're going to name the baby?" Karen asked kindly.

"If it's a girl, I was thinking of Natalie Rose and if it's a boy, I thought Emmett Joseph," Ivy said decisively.

"Aww those are such sweet names," Karen said gleefully.

An hour later, Amanda had arrived at New York Presbyterian Hospital and immediately got to work explaining to Ivy why a C-Section was imperative to the baby's survival "If you don't have the C-Section, there's a huge chance that the baby could die, did any of the doctors you saw earlier explain that to you?" Amanda asked a now crying Ivy.

"No th-they didn't," Ivy replied.

"Right well I'm going to get you prepped for surgery, now is there anyone you want in the OR with you?" Amanda said.

"Umm…" Ivy thought through all of the possibilities 'Tom's afraid of blood, might be a bit too sensitive for Karen and Derek, I don't really know Ana that well, Julia hates doctors in general, Sam…' "Karen can you go and get Sam?"

"Sure," Karen told her friend before quietly stepping outside where a crowd of people, including Sam, Tom, Bobby, Julia, Ana, Derek, Jessica, Sue and Eileen, flocked around the brunette "Okay before you ask, no the baby hasn't been born yet. They're going to take Ivy to the OR for a C-Section and Sam I think she wants you in there," Karen said stepping aside so that Sam could go into the small delivery room. Then she took Tom, Julia, Derek and Eileen aside and said "Do any of you know Leigh's phone number? I know she cut Ivy off and all but if I were her I'd want to know,"

"I think I've still got it," Tom said before checking through his phone and showing Karen the number which she quickly dialled.

"Hello, Leigh Conroy speaking, who is this?" Karen heard on the other end of the line.

"Hi Leigh, this is Karen Cartwright, I'm a friend of Ivy's and –"

Karen found herself being cut off by Leigh's voice "I don't know why you're calling me but just know that I won't have anything to do with my slut daughter or her bastard child, now it is the middle of the night so I'd appreciate it if you'd allow me to hang up," Leigh said bitterly before hanging up and leaving Karen in a state of shock.

"What did she say?" Tom asked hoping for good news.

"That she didn't want anything to do with Ivy or the baby," Karen replied still in a state of astonishment. "I-I just don't understand why," she finished before briskly walking down the hallway until she was completely out of sight. She leant against a wall and felt herself sink down to the floor,. She was exhausted and the conversation with Leigh had left her emotionally spent. Maybe it was the amazing relationship that she had with her adoptive mother, or the whole saga with her biological mother or even because her own child had been so mercilessly taken from her but Karen had no idea how on earth a mother could be so cruel as to have a relationship with their child and then drop them like a stone the very moment that something didn't go according to plan. She began to think of the child she'd only recently lost and how she would never done anything of the sort to her own child, how she would make sure that if her child were placed in Ivy's position she would have supported her to no end just as she'd supported Ivy throughout the whole ordeal. Karen's thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her phone and without looking at who was calling her, she pressed the deny button and tucked it back into her jacket pocket. She just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts for a while.

"There you are," Derek said shocking Karen out of her thoughts "They've just taken Ivy down to surgery, you okay?"

At that point Karen realised that she'd been crying so she quickly wiped away her tears before saying "Just thinking,"

Derek sat down next to her and said "What about?"

"Abigail, how I would have treated her if she were Ivy's position," she said quietly as tears clouded her sight. Derek immediately pulled her into his arms and allowed her to cry into his shoulder for a good five minutes before she pulled away. "Maybe we should go back to the rest of them,"

"Okay love," he said pulling her up and linking arms with her as they walked down the hallway and into the crowds of people.

A half hour later, Sam walked into the waiting room as Ivy was wheeled back into her room. He was immediately flanked by a crowd of people "It's a girl, she weighed six pounds even and both of them are fine," he announced.


	44. The Great Gatsby

_**A/N - Okay so I got really bored in a few of my classes so I started writing this chapter so I hope you guys like it.**_

Karen sat in her dressing room for the first time since the attack and looked in the mirror. Her hair was put into a short blonde wig and her make-up was natural, her first costume laid out on the chaise longue which sat against the wall closest to the door. Fear took over her as she heard a knock at the door remembering the attack as she walked towards the closed door. She extended her trembling hand to get a hold of the door knob and twisted it before pulling the door open slightly. She peeked through the gap and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Ivy with Natalie in her pram. Karen swiftly opened the door and stepped aside so that Ivy could come in before she shut the door.

"I thought I'd come and see you before the show, are you okay," Ivy said her voice transforming from its normal slightly brash tone to a concerned one as she saw how pale Karen's face had gone.

"Yeah, just nervous," Karen said truthfully.

"You'll be fine," Ivy assured "I know what we should do, let's talk about the wedding, how are the plans going?"

At that one sentence, Karen wanted to tell Ivy that she and Derek had gotten married when they were in England and so that's what she did "Well the wedding may end up being more of a vow renewal,"

"What do you mean?" Ivy asked feeling slightly confused by her former rival's statement.

"When Derek and I were in London, before his mum died, we got married in a registry office and we were planning on doing the whole big white wedding thing when we got back but then Emmeline died and we extended our stay out further so that all the legal stuff could be dealt with and when we got here we got so caught up in Gatsby and then the attack happened so neither of us have fully thought about it, I mean don't get me wrong we've both sort of mentioned it in passing but other than that it's not really been that high on our lists," Karen admitted.

"Well isn't it a good thing that I stopped off at a news agents on my way here and grabbed a few bridal magazines? What date are you thinking of?"

"I was thinking of 14th May just because it's kind of the anniversary of the day Derek told me he understood love," Karen said confidently "I've also thought of bridesmaids too. I want you, Julia, Amy, Marlena, Lisa, Ana, Jess and Sue and I was thinking that you could all wear that aquamarine shade of blue because aquamarine is Derek's birthstone and if we make it the year after next then Natalie would probably be able to walk and she and Lily could be flower girls," Karen thought aloud.

"Aww those are such sweet ideas," Ivy said before passing Karen a magazine to flick through.

The pair sat flipping the pages of the magazines, folding pages of things they thought would be good ideas, for another hour as the three-week-old Natalie slept in the pram. Karen quickly realised she had to change into her first costume and quickly did so. Upon realising the time, Ivy told Karen that she'd see her afterwards and took Natalie to her seat in one of the boxes.

"Ten minutes to curtain call," Linda announced just as Karen stepped into the theatre's wings, now ready for her first scene. When she stepped onto the stage, Karen felt all of her nerves and fears fall away from her as she saw the audience look up at her. As she said Daisy's monologue about how cynical she'd become, something Karen now understood completely, she looked out to the audience and saw Annabelle's face. She quickly turned to face T.R. as she articulated about how she wished for her daughter to be a fool, then turned back to face the audience again but couldn't spot the woman who'd attacked her just over a month before. For the rest of the scene, Karen did her best to keep her composure and when she left the stage she fought hard to catch her breath.

"Karen, are you alright?" Karen turned to see who'd asked the question and saw Gatsby himself, Daniel Johnson.

"Oh hey Dan, I'm fine, just nerves is all," she assured more for her own benefit than for his.

"Okay, I'll see you on stage then," Dan said a bewildered look on his face as he walked back to the wings where he would walk on for his next scene. Karen waited until he was gone and then rushed back to her dressing room knowing that she wouldn't be needed for another twenty minutes at least.

She sat down for five minutes before deciding to change into her next costume. Once she'd put on the lavender dress knee-length dress embellished with a cornflower blue ribbon she heard a knock on the door and paranoia took over her whole body once again. She walked towards the door and locked it, knowing that it wasn't Derek or Ana or Julia or Eileen or even Linda, any of those five would have just walked straight in. The same thoughts she'd had the night she'd been stabbed ran through her mind 'I'm going to die in my dressing room and all because I was stupid enough to date a married man,' Karen quickly grabbed a pen and a piece of paper off her dressing table and wrote:

_Dear Derek,_

_I'm writing this to you just in case something does happen to me. _

_I love you, I've loved you ever since you told me that you understand love and I always will. I was glad to have gotten the chance to love you and fall in love with you and be your wife._

_If I do die tonight, know that it was Annabelle and no-one else. If that does happen I don't want you to hunt her down I want you to let the police deal with it okay? I'm going to guess that you're shaking your head right now, so I will tell you that the sentence before this was a command and not my normal request._

_I love you._

_Forever yours,_

_Karen_

"Iowa sweetie, could you unlock the door please they need you on stage soon," Jessica said through the door.

"I don't think I can," Karen said her voice shaking with fear.

"Honey if you don't you'll never get to hit Jess with a car and we all want to see that happen almost as much as we want another Karen-Ivy catfight," Dennis said in an attempt to make Karen laugh.

"I-I can't," Karen admitted fearfully.

"Dennis, see if you can get Derek maybe he can get her out of there," Jess ordered feigning annoyance at Dennis' prior comment.

"Sweetie, if you're nervous you shouldn't be, you're so talented they'll love you even if you make a tiny mistake," Jessica assured thinking that was why her friend was refusing to leave the room.

"That's not it, I-I saw... I saw..." Karen trailed off unable to admit to seeing Annabelle in the audience, unsure whether it was a hallucination or not.

"What did you see? Or-or who did you see?"

"I... I saw her in the audience and what if she's here again and she tries again, I mean what if Annabelle is here to try and kill me again I got lucky last time because she didn't hit anywhere vital but..." Karen trailed off.

"Karen, do you know how likely that is? Do you really think she'd attempt it in the same place she got you last time and with all of the police crawling around looking for her...?" Jessica trailed off as Derek approached.

"What's up?" Derek asked expecting the problem to be a general bitchy ensemble style thing.

"Karen won't come out of her dressing room; she says she saw," Jessica quickly hushed her tone before uttering the name "Annabelle,"

"Karen, it's me love can I come in?" he asked kindly before telling Dennis "We're up to the part where Gatsby is organising Nick's place for tea with Daisy, tell Linda I want the curtain to fall for an early intermission after that scene ends," then he turned to Jessica as Dennis rushed off to find the stage manager "Can you go and check with the backstage security and see if they've seen anyone try and come through here,"

Jessica rushed off and Karen and Derek were left alone in the small section "I saw her Derek, she was in the audience and I turned away so that I wouldn't see her and when I turned back she was gone, I don't know whether I hallucinated or she was lightning quick or not but I'm freaking out," she admitted before bursting into tears, they felt as though they burned her cheeks as they streamed from her eyes.

"Love let me in or at least unlock the door, I can hear you crying and I hate not being able to hold you as you cry," Derek admitted.

Karen unlocked and opened the door and before he could step through the doorway she had flung herself into him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. He pulled her closer to him as she cried into his chest "Derek why the hell did you call for an early intermission?" rang the unmistakeable voice of Eileen Rand "And why on earth have you got Jessica searching for the security guys?"

Karen looked up for a second before pulling herself away from Derek and turning to answer Eileen "It's my fault Eileen, I-I saw..." she was unable to finish the sentence without bursting into tears again and Derek pulled her into him again.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed as she continued to cry.

"Derek what the hell is going on?" Eileen yelled before changing her tone "What did you see Karen?"

"I-I-I saw... I s-saw Ann-nab-belle," Karen finally managed through her sobs as Derek continued to hold her "Sh-she was in th-the audience I-I saw her when I was doing Daisy's m-monologue and I-I turned away and sh-she was gone, I-I'm n-not sure whether I-I hallucinated it or n-not b-but..." she trailed off into a fit of sobs.

"It's okay, it's okay," Derek continued to soothe as best he could, all Eileen could do was to watch on.

Suddenly, Jessica ran up to the group slightly out of breath "Karen, you were right, according to the security guys Annabelle was here but she ran off somewhere,"

"So I-I w-wasn't hallucinating?" Karen asked, still sobbing slightly.

"No it wasn't a hallucination sweetie," Jessica told her friend receiving a small smile from the normally bubbly brunette.

"What did you tell security Jessica?" Eileen asked, it had suddenly dawned on her that the threat was once again real.

"I told them that if they saw Annabelle they were to grab her, keep a hold of her and call both the police and either you or Derek," she said.

"Okay, thank you Jessica, if you want to Karen, we could cancel the rest of the performance," Eileen said softly.

Karen tore herself away from Derek, wiped away her tears and immediately said "No, I know how much money that costs and I'm not going to let that happen, how about we extend the intermission and I'll redo my make-up, and I'll go out onto the stage and perform as though nothing has happened. We need to disguise it so that the reviewers don't notice so could we have the intermission at this point every night? That way it looks like it was planned and just a typo in the programme,"

"Sure that sounds feasible, don't you think Derek?" Eileen said

"Yeah, easy enough," Derek replied.

Karen dashed into her dressing room and began applying what little make-up she was required to wear and then ran out of the room and towards the group. She put on a smile as they walked towards the wings.

She walked onto the stage mustering all of the courage and confidence she had and Derek watched on as she performed the scene to perfection, if he hadn't just beared witness to the scene backstage he would have thought that everything was normal. When she left the stage she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before the wardrobe assistant helped her out of her dress and into the next costume, a 1920s set of underwear. She dashed onto the stage for one of the love scenes, her innocence being completely shown. As she lay on the bed in Daniel's arms on the stage, Karen blushed uncontrollably, all of her innocence, or what she had left of it, shown to the audience, she could never get used to doing a scene like that. Soon enough, the scene was over and she rushed off stage where she was quickly changed into her next scene.

By the time Karen's last yet very long scene of the night came around, she was beginning to tire of the quick costume changes and was glad that she only had one more outfit to go. It was a simple peach lace dress which floated down to her ankles. She walked onto the stage and sat herself down at the mini-table. Steve Kasee, who was playing Tom Buchanan, got up and walked away and Karen was left with T.R., Ana and Daniel on the stage. She got out of her seat and walked towards Daniel "You know I love you," she said before planting a kiss on his lips.

"Daisy, you forget that there's a lady present," Ana articulated in a slightly upper-crust accent.

"Oh please, Jordan you kiss Nick all the time,"

"What a low, vulgar thing to say,"

"I don't care," Karen said with a shrug of her shoulders as she rushed back to her seat as Steve returned to the stage armed with a tray of drinks "What'll we do with ourselves this afternoon and the day after that and the next thirty years?"

Ana feigned a look of disgust "Don't be so morbid. Life will start over again in the fall,"

"But it's so hot and everything is so muddled. Let's all go to town. Who wants to go to town?" Karen announced in the continuation of her light southern drawl.

The rest of the scene went splendidly and when entire cast was brought back onto the stage for their final bows, Karen beamed with pride as she looked out to the audience and took her bow, noticing that they were giving the cast a standing ovation. The cast left the stage and each went to their dressing rooms to get ready for the after party.

Karen quickly changed into the pillarbox red one-shoulder knee-length dress she'd chosen which had a zip that went right down her back to where a small slit began. She paired it with a pair of black peep-toe pumps, a black clutch and the Tiffany earrings that Derek had given her on her birthday. She smiled as she saw her reflection in the mirror of her dressing room. Ana and Jessica walked in and said in unison, yet loudly enough for Derek to hear from outside the door "Oh my god Karen, you look amazing, Derek won't be able to keep his hands off you,"

"What on earth do you girls..." Derek trailed off as he walked into the dressing room.

"Don't you like it? I knew I shouldn't have worn this dress, it's too much isn't it?" Karen began to ramble.

"Karen you look stunning," Derek managed.

"You're sure?" she asked suddenly nervous about the dress.

Derek laughed "Of course I'm sure love," the group made their way out and into Table 46 which was made the venue for the after party.

Inside they were greeted by several of their friends and even Karen's parents, in all her fear, worry and then excitement and elatedness she hadn't noticed Roger and Elizabeth Cartwright at all. "Mum, dad," Karen said as she hugged her parents.

"Honey are you okay? Intermission was called early we thought that something had happened with, you know," Elizabeth said to her daughter.

"I'll explain it to you later," Karen said as Julia came over to the group.

"Karen sweetie, you were amazing," the writer complimented.

"Well it was only because of your brilliant writing," Karen replied with a smile.

"Can I talk to you privately?" the older woman asked with a polite smile.

"Sure," Karen said unsuspecting of anything that her friend may have to say.

Once they were away from Karen's parents and husband Julia began to speak "So there are two things I wanted to talk about first thing are you okay?"

Karen took a quick intake of breath before replying "Honestly not really, I saw Annabelle in the audience tonight and to be honest I thought it was PTSD and I was hallucinating but then Jessica spoke to security and I wasn't so now I'm kind of shaken up but I think I'll be fine,"

"You're sure?" Julia asked and received a nod in reply "The second thing I wanted to talk to you about was a tribute concert for Kyle, I've been thinking about the possibility of one for a while but I didn't want to do it without your permission because you and Derek have the rights to the music from Hit List,"

Karen hugged Julia, Kyle had been dead for over a year and while his parents had held a small service for him on the anniversary of his death nothing had really been done to honour him in the Broadway community and Karen knew she wanted to be as involved as possible. After she'd torn herself away from Julia, Karen told her friend "That sounds like a wonderful idea and I want to be as involved as possible, have you put the idea to Tom yet? It's just that he and Kyle were kind of an unofficial item and I know he'd want to be involved,"

"I'll talk to him about it soon," Julia said with an assuring smile plastered on her face.

"Mind if I take the leading lady for a dance Julia?" Derek asked from behind Karen.

"Go for it Derek," the song playing changed to Our Day Will Come as Derek led Karen to what little bit of a dance floor there was available.

He placed his left hand on Karen's waist and his other hand in her hand as they began to move across the floor. "So I was talking about the big wedding with Ivy earlier," Karen mentioned.

"Were you now?" he said as he sent her into a twirl.

"Yeah, I think I've got an idea for a date," she said as she spun back into his arms.

"And what date would that be?" as they whirled around the floor.

He sent her down close to the floor before she could begin her answer "May 14th,"

"That's the day of your first preview as Marilyn," he said slightly shocked.

"And the day you told me you understood love," she finished with a smile as she was pulled back into him.

"BANG" Karen felt herself being pulled down and to the side by Derek's arms as someone walked into the bar and the sound of screams bounced from person to person as Annabelle walked through the crowds.


	45. The Shooting

_**A/N – Here it is Part Two of Gatsby's opening night. I realise that I left the last chapter on a bit of a cliffhanger so I set to working as quickly as possible so that this chapter could be uploaded, and it would have been ready earlier if it weren't for the fact that my laptop kept overheating and so I had to rewrite parts of the chapter.**_

"_BANG" Karen felt herself being pulled down and to the side by Derek's arms as someone walked into the bar and the sound of screams bounced from person to person as Annabelle walked through the crowds._

Karen hoped and prayed that her friends and parents were okay and uninjured while she sat underneath the small table that Derek had pulled her under. Her hand was still interlocked with his as she breathed heavy breaths each one filled with fear, her heart racing with a combination of fear and anxiety. Soon enough, Karen was able to catch a glimpse of the reason for her fear as Annabelle strutted into the centre of the room, a gun in her right hand. She walked up to someone and lifted the person off of her feet but neither Karen nor Derek could tell who it was. "Where is Karen Cartwright?" Annabelle asked, her voice was so malicious that it struck up an image of Hitler, Jack the Ripper and Stalin all rolled into one.

"I-I don't know," the person squeaked and upon hearing the terrified voice, both Karen and Derek looked to each other knowing that it was Dennis.

Derek mouthed the word 'no' to Karen but she still released her grip on his hand, crawled out from under the table and stood up before summoning up all of her courage so that she could say "Annabelle, this is between you and me, no-one else, now leave him alone. I'm the one you want aren't I?" it amazed both women how steady Karen's voice had been and she had to wait for her adversary to recover and prepare for a rebuttal.

"Oh you'd love that wouldn't you? Broadway's sweet, innocent darling saves the day, well that's not going to happen. Will you tell everyone here about your slutty behaviour or shall I?" Neither woman had noticed that Derek had followed Karen out from under the table and stood behind Karen.

"Are you still pissed off because I went on a couple of dates with your husband 10 years ago? Don't you think you've punished me enough for that? Because of what you did to me I lost a child!" Karen exclaimed loudly enough for Derek to feel the need to move slightly closer to her.

"Well isn't that just lovely? You think that just because you lost ONE child you've been punished? I really should just kill you now!"

"Fine, kill me then," there was a collective gasp from the surrounding group as Annabelle aimed the gun at Karen's chest. The young brunette braced for the impact of the speeding bullet which she thought would surely come towards her but instead the impact she felt was from being pushed to the ground by one of Derek's strong arms.

"BANG!" and he was on the floor beside her as blood began to pour from his stomach.

"Derek, Derek, please be okay, please be okay," she cried, on the brink of tears as she crawled towards him. She got a hold of him and placed her hand over the wound in the hopes of preventing as much blood loss as possible "Get me some tissue paper or something NOW!" she yelled as tears began to seep from her eyes for the second time that night.

"Karen?" Derek said weakly.

"Oh my god Derek you're going to be okay, we're going to get you some help okay?" Karen told him hopefully.

There was another "BANG!" and Annabelle was on the floor.

"Hello I need an ambulance," Julia's voice could be heard on the phone "Umm, Table 46 on 8th Street my friend has a gunshot to his stomach and the woman who shot him shot herself but I'm 99% sure she's dead,"

"Where the hell is that tissue paper?" Karen demanded just as Ana came running from behind the bar, her arms loaded up with tissue paper. Karen began to hum a tuneless song as she began to press the tissue paper to the wound, her hands now red from the blood.

"Karen..." he was cut off as he went out of consciousness 'Need to wake up, need to stay strong and wake up for Karen,' he thought as he tried to force himself back into consciousness.

It was another 10 minutes before the paramedics arrived to take Derek to NYU Medical Centre. "No, I'm not going to let go of him," Karen screamed as the paramedics lifted her away from him.

"Ma'am if you don't then we won't be able to help him, okay ma'am?" one of the paramedics asked kindly.

"O-okay," she stuttered through her tears.

Julia put her hand on her friend's shoulder but Karen just shook it off and walked off trying to find the only person she could possibly want who wasn't her husband: her mum. Her mascara had run but she didn't care, her eyes were red and puffy, but she didn't care. The threat that Annabelle had caused was gone but Karen didn't care about that either.

Elizabeth Cartwright had been in the bathroom throughout the whole ordeal and when she stepped out to see her daughter wandering around looking severely numb, her mascara streaking down her face; her eyes red and puffy; her hands red with what looked like blood. "Karen?"

"Mum," Karen sighed as she rushed towards her mother "It was so d-damn quick, w-why did he h-have to push me aside? W-why d-did he have to take the damn bullet? God he's so stupid. I-I don't know whether he'll make it or not," she thought aloud as her mother held her.

It only took a few seconds for Elizabeth to figure out who her daughter was talking about "Derek's a strong-minded man and he loves you, he'll make it," Elizabeth told her daughter as she kept a hold of the now fragile young woman "But you have to stay strong for him, no more tears once we leave here okay sweetheart?"

"I don't know if I can mum," Karen replied, looking up at her mother and seeing worry in the older woman's eyes.

"Karen Cartwright, I have known you since you were a toddler and I know that you are one of the strongest young women possible. After Caroline... after Caroline died, you were the only one who was able to hang on, if it hadn't been for you I don't know what I would've done at that point. After the accident last year you held on and I know that after Derek's mum died you were the strong one. My point is you are a strong independent young woman and you need to keep that strength for your own sake and if not for yours then for Derek's," Elizabeth told her adoptive daughter as they began to walk out of the building. She knew that the one place that Karen needed to be was in the hospital where she would hear the news about Derek first. She also knew that somebody would have to phone Derek's brother and sister to tell them of the incident but that could wait until everyone knew more.

The taxi ride over to NYU Medical Centre was quiet, only broken by Karen's occasional sniffles as she tried to pull herself together. The two women had been hounded by the press as they left Table 46, clearly there had been a tip off but neither truly cared so long as they were able to get away from it.

When they arrived at the hospital, Karen found herself being surrounded by the buzzing insects known as the paparazzi as she tried to get into the building "Karen, what is Derek's condition? Who shot him? Was it you?"

The fact that someone could be so impertinent to even think of asking a question like that was beyond Karen so she made her feelings known "For god's sake! Leave me the hell alone! You're all vultures the lot of you, there is no way in hell I would shoot my fiancé you bastard! Now quit it before I sue you all on harassment charges!" Karen was in tears by the end of her small speech but she didn't care, the photographers had no idea whether they could actually be sued by the young actress after the recent law changes and so they stepped back and left the young woman alone as she ran into the hospital. She walked up to the front desk "C-can y-you t-tell me where D-Derek Wills is?" she asked the receptionist in between sobs.

"You're Karen Cartwright, his fiancé right?" the young girl asked.

"Y-yeah," Karen replied still sobbing.

"He's still in surgery but if you like I can take you to a private waiting room and tell his surgeon to come and get you when the surgery's finished," the girl said with a sympathetic smile on her face.

"P-please," Karen tried to return the smile but found herself crying harder than before.

The young receptionist handed Karen a couple of tissues which she used to wipe away the tears that dripped down her face "If it helps, I know what you're going through, my boyfriend was shot last year," the receptionist told her as she walked around the desk.

"Really? H-how did you cope?" Karen said as they began the walk to the private waiting room, she had no idea how she would cope.

"When they told me, I was still at work here so I was there when they brought him in they said he was trying to help a woman who'd been mugged but neither is really any kind of consolation. The whole coping thing, it's not easy but you find a way, I'd always dance it out if I could. You just find the thing that lets you get everything out into the open and use it. And I know this sounds like it's going to be difficult but you've got to be strong, at all costs, it helps him in the end," the young woman told Karen.

"Is your boyfriend okay? Like he's able to do things like run and stuff?" Karen asked carefully.

"Yeah, he's fine," the young girl said "I'm Leanne by the way, my shift finishes soon and my boyfriend won't be round here to pick me up for a couple of hours after that so if you'd like I could sit with you, I know from experience that it's an awful lot easier to sit through the waiting with someone who's been through something similar," Leanne told Karen.

"Are you sure? I mean I can just get my mum to come here if it's easier," she replied.

"It's fine, plus it looks like you could do with the company," Leanne told the brunette.

"Well if you're sure," Karen said as they turned what must have been the twentieth corner but this one led into the small private waiting room.

"I'll be back in about half an hour okay?" Leanne informed Karen before leaving the room.

Left alone to her own thoughts for that half hour Karen began to cry again 'Why did he have to take the damn bullet for me? Why did he push me aside? I don't think I'll be able to go on without him, it's like he's my fate or my destiny or something' she thought to herself as she sat in the slightly uncomfortable plush chair. Then it hit her: She'd have to phone James and Grace and tell them how she'd not be able to protect their brother from her _own _stalker. How on earth was she going to tell them? Part of her wanted to phone them and tell them and tell them at that very moment but the rest of her, the part of her that was intelligent told her to wait until she knew more about Derek's condition. Just then her phone rang and, noticing that it was in fact James on the other line, she wiped away her tears and picked up the phone "Hello?"

"Karen, is Derek with you?" James said sounding excited.

"No he's not," Karen said her voice shaking as she replied.

"Well when he gets back from wherever he is can you tell him that he has a niece born about an hour ago she's 7 lbs 6oz and that we've named her Emmeline Katharine Wills?" he told her, still sounding excited.

"Yeah sure," she said as tears slid down her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he enquired his voice switching from one of excitement to worry.

"N-not really, n-o," she replied truthfully.

"Do you want to tell me what it's about or..." he tried but was cut off.

"Derek was shot! We were at the party for Gatsby's opening night and one minute we were dancing and there was a gunshot and he pulled me underneath the table. It was Annabelle and she started threatening one of my friends so I got out and told her that the whole thing was between her and I, so she said that she should kill me and I told her to go ahead and she took aim and just as she began to pull the trigger Derek pushed me to the ground and he was shot," she rambled ending up in tears "It's all my fault if I hadn't gone out with her husband all those years ago then he wouldn't be in surgery right now and... and... and..." she trailed off unable to think of anything else to say to her brother-in-law.

"Karen, calm down. Annabelle was clearly crazy; she wouldn't have gone after you ten years later if she wasn't, so stop freaking out it's not your fault. Do you know what Derek said to me while you guys were over here the other month? He told me that you were the best thing that's ever happened to him and that he would gladly take a bullet if it meant that you were safe. Derek has always been bloody minded, even when we were kids there's no stopping him from doing what he wanted to do and clearly in this case what he wanted to do was to save you," James assured.

"Thanks James, I'll phone you when he comes out of surgery and congratulations," Karen said suddenly slightly happier with the situation she'd been placed in. She knew now that telling Grace about the situation when she herself knew more.

She began to pace around the room, it was the only thing that she could do to keep herself from going crazy. She knew that if Derek were placed in the same position that he would be beside himself with fear as she was now and the only thing that she could think of was how stupid his action was, she had a feeling that she would have survived if it were her who'd been shot but she couldn't be sure just as she wasn't sure that Derek would survive this. Her hands were still red, she hadn't bothered to wash them since the shooting; it was as though having his blood on her hands was the only way of keeping him close to her, almost like a shrine to someone who wasn't even dead.

The image of her husband's look of fear as she crawled out from under the table, like he knew that something would have happened; the image of his face as it grew more pale and drawn by the second as she held the tissue in place as she tried to stay the blood loss; the image of his eyes closing shut as he fell unconscious; they all popped into her head along with images of the moments of their time since they first met showed up in some sort of flashback.

The first time they met.

"Hi,"

"Hello Karen, how refreshing you're the only girl we've seen today who didn't come as Marilyn,"

The couch casting.

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday Mr President_

_Happy birthday to you_

"Not gonna happen,"

The discussion about Marilyn and Karen _being _her.

"Look Karen, you have a lot of what makes Marilyn, Marilyn essentially in you okay?"

When he asked her to be a part of the ensemble.

"So how do you feel like being in the ensemble?"

"Well it's a terrific opportunity,"

"Oh well done very polite,"

"Well what am I supposed to say? I'm pissed?"

"Yeah you should be, you've got way too much talent to be in the ensemble,"

When they worked on Touch Me together.

"Don't be afraid of the sex,"

"I'm not,"

Just after she started hanging out with Rebecca.

"I think you'd make a brilliant Marilyn. I see it. You know. In my head,"

"Really?"

Just before she stepped onto the stage for Don't Forget Me in her first preview as Marilyn.

"No matter what happens next don't ever doubt you are a star and I do understand love,"

The discussion and almost kiss at Bombshell's launch party.

"I wasn't doing so well but now I'm better how do you do that?"

"I'm your muse; it's what we do,"

When Derek told her that he loved her in his own very Derek way.

"Karen, you know I care about you,"

"Yeah, I care about you too,"

"Yeah, that's not what I mean,"

Waking up after being hit by the car to see his face.

"Derek?"

"I'm here love, how are you? Actually you must be feeling like crap, don't answer that, it's a stupid question,"

Derek telling her parents that she could stay at his apartment.

"She could stay in the guest room at my place if she wants. It's perfectly accessible for Karen in her current state and I can be there for as much time as necessary, plus your daughter is the most talented, beautiful woman I've ever met,"

The first time they'd kissed without being drunk.

"Well aren't you in love with her?"

"How could I be? She's no you darling,"

"Derek Wills, do you know how long I've waited for you to say that to me?"

"A fair while I'm guessing," he chuckled as he cupped her head in his hands before lifting it so he could press his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes closed as she kissed him back.

The first time he _actually _told her he loved her.

Derek looked at her affectionately, careful to avoid seeing the doctor's stitching, "I love you,"

When he proposed to her on the balcony of the Empire State Building.

"I love you, more than anything else in the world. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, I love everything about you, your smile, your eyes and your laugh, everything about you and so I was wondering..." he opened the box to reveal a Platinum ring with a single cushion shaped diamond surrounded by two outer layers of smaller diamonds "Will you marry me?"

"Yes, a thousand times yes,"

The day they got married.

"Do you, Derek Arthur Wills, take this woman, Karen Natalie Cartwright, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do,"

"And do you, Karen Natalie Cartwright, take this man, Derek Arthur Wills, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do,"

All of these images which had been imprinted in her memory for so long all added together mixed with the images from the shooting to form one big romantic horror movie. She began thinking of how they could have gotten together sooner; if she'd allowed the couch casting to go further; if she'd spoken to him at the party in Boston for Bombshell instead of ignoring him; if Ivy hadn't interrupted the kiss that wasn't; if she'd told him about Jimmy's abusive behaviour before she was compelled to; if she'd listened to what Kyle had said about the inevitability of the relationship; if she'd told Derek that she loved him when he told her that he cared about her. They were all things that would have changed their love story and elongated it beyond the whole will-they-won't-they relationship they'd had for so long. As she paced she began to pray to every god she could think of. Her prayers were interrupted by Leanne walking into the room and saying "He'll be okay, you know,"

"Sorry, what?" Karen said as she drifted back to reality from the alternative her life could have taken if her hindsight was correct.

"You're pacing, I remember that stage, you're worried if he'll make it and then you're worried that you didn't make the most of the time you had with him, do any of his family know?"

"His brother knows, I only told him because he phoned me because Derek now has a new niece... anyway I decided based on that reaction not to tell his sister because she has a tendency to be slightly over the top," Karen explained.

"What about his mum?" Leanne asked noticing that Emmeline had been skipped out of the explanation.

"She died in January and oh my god! I'm going to have to tell his dad, who likes me enough to flirt with me in public which is just creepy but oh my god he'll hate me forever!" Karen announced worriedly.

"It'll be fine,"

"You say that but you've never met Charles, he's an asshole if ever I met one. He's never really concerned about his children's welfare unless he can benefit from it, I practically had to stage a full mediation thing between him and Derek in our living room because of all the crap that went down between them and that was after a full scale argument in the middle of a party," Karen went on before finally running out of breath.

After that conversation ended, the two women discussed Leanne's life with her boyfriend, who, it turned out, was named Jesse and taught music at night school. This conversation went on for over an hour when a surgeon walked into the waiting room, he still had his scrub cap on but he had brilliant sparkling blue eyes that made Karen consider setting him up with Ivy or Ana. "Miss Cartwright?"

"Yes," Karen replied, as her fear suddenly came back to her.

"Your fiancé will be just fine, the surgery took a while longer than expected but he should make a full recovery," the surgeon told her.

A look of relief on her face, she asked "When can I see him?"

"Right now, if you'd like to follow me," and so he led Karen down another corridor into recovery where she found Derek lying in a bed, hooked up to several machines "He lost a fair bit of blood so we had to do a transfusion but he should be fine,"

"Thank you," Karen said as she sat down in a plastic seat which had been placed beside the bed, once seated, she took a hold of Derek's hand and began to thank all of the gods; the Greeks; Allah; the Egyptians; El; the Christian god; Krishna; every single god she'd prayed to whilst waiting for the surgeon was thanked in the hours during which she waited for Derek to wake up from his drug induced sleep.

When he finally did wake up, Derek's speech was slurred but he still managed to pronounce the name of the woman he'd been dreaming about whilst asleep "K-Karen?"

"I'm here Derek," Karen said a single tear running down her cheek "Oh my god I thought I'd lost you for a while back there, I kept thinking of how I should have told you I loved you sooner, that way if this had happened..." she stopped all of the strength she'd possessed earlier had now vanished "And now I'm crying and I promised myself I wasn't going to cry,".

"Love, I'm okay, bit battered and bruised but okay, now c'mere," he told her, looking into her chocolate brown eyes which once showed innocence but now showed maturity and worldliness as he beckoned her to climb onto the bed with him, she did as told careful as she snuggled into his side that she didn't hurt him further.

"You have a new niece by the way," Karen announced quietly.

"I do?" he asked, a loving look in his eyes.

"Emmeline Katharine Wills, James said she weighed 7lbs 6oz, he called while you were in surgery, he knows about you being shot by the way, I'll tell Grace and your dad later," Karen said with a slight sigh showing just how much she was dreading making those phone calls.

"We can leave that until later, if we're lucky James might have been kind enough to phone them himself," Derek said hopefully with a yawn.

"Go to sleep," Karen said knowing that she was tired too and as they went to sleep the feeling that all was right with the world arrived for them.


	46. The Arrest

_**A/N - This chapter had several versions to it and it took a fair while to decide which version I was going to use but here is the one.**_

* * *

**__**Derek was woken up by a searing pain in his stomach and it took a while for him to remember where he was and why he was there. Then he remembered Karen's voice saying his name repeatedly through her tears. He looked to his left and saw Karen snuggled into his side, her mop of brown hair covering his chest as it heaved. His vision was still slightly blurred when he saw a woman with long, curly red hair walk into the room.

"Derek," the voice, which he recognized as Julia's, said with relief as she walked over to one of the seats "How's Karen?" she asked in a hushed tone

"Same as she was after the miscarriage," he replied, his tone just as hushed as Julia's had been.

"I'm not sure if you remember this, but she tried to prevent the bleeding with her own hands. She wouldn't let you go in the ambulance until the paramedics all but pulled her away from you. To be honest it would surprise me if she _wasn't _emotionally spent," Julia told him honestly.

Karen began to rub her eyes as she woke up, it felt like everything had returned to normal when she first woke up and then she realised where she was and her few moments of bliss ended. She looked up at Derek's face and noted that he was considerably less pale than the night before and she smiled "Morning," she said before yawning.

"Morning love,"

"Morning Karen," Julia said.

Karen blinked a couple of times before replying "Morning Julia,"

"Karen, there's something I should probably mention but I'm not exactly sure how to tell you," Julia said nervously.

"What's wrong Julia?" Derek asked, confused.

"Just tell me, I can take it," Karen said taking a deep breath before Julia had a chance to speak.

"The police are looking for you and from what I heard of their conversation last night, they're looking at you as a suspect," Julia announced.

"B-but there were witnesses, a tonne of them," Karen said out of shock

"For whatever reason, they don't believe a single one of them, they said something about everyone being in shock. The point is, they're going to treat this the way the South Africans are treated the Oscar Pistorius case, I figured you'd want to know in case they..."

"In case they arrest me," Karen said, she'd become resigned to the fact during Julia's explanation.

"If they claim that then I'll make sure that they don't I'll be the witness," Derek announced.

"They'll just claim that it's Stockholm Syndrome Derek, it's pointless to even attempt it, didn't Table 46 have security footage?"

"From what I heard as the cops were talking, it wasn't working that night,"

"It's like Annabelle planned it, all of it, like she wanted me to be blamed," Karen thought aloud.

"What you're saying is that it's a setup?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"Think about it Derek, she shot you in a room filled with actors and friends of ours as well as my family. Then she shot herself. Already I look like I'm vengeful because of the attack. There's no video footage unless someone was recording the whole thing on their camera or their phone and even then the police might think that it's staged,"

"An interesting deduction Miss Cartwright," an unfamiliar voice said and Karen turned away from her husband to face the person who'd said the statement. He wore a suit and had black hair with a few grey streaks through it "Tell me, what was this whole thing? Some sort of insurance scam, no I've been through your finances you don't need the money. It must have been an act of malice for you to try and kill your own fiance,"

"B-but I didn't shoot him," she said on the verge of tears as she tried to keep herself together.

"Nervous are we? You're looking guiltier by the second," he continued.

"Who the hell are you?" Karen demanded before bursting into tears.

"I'm Inspector Sturgess of NYPD and given the evidence I'm putting you under arrest for the attempted murder of Derek Wills," he announced.

"What?" Derek shouted "You can't do that because it wasn't her! You have witnesses for christ's sake!"

"And the majority of those witnesses are actors," Inspector Sturgess replied.

"That's prejudice, plus if I recall correctly for you to even attempt to charge her with attempted murder there has to be proof of mens rea," Julia argued.

"Mens what?" Karen asked feeling slightly confused.

"Essentially it means that there has to be proof of guilty mind, which means that they have to do a psychological analysis of you to arrest on those grounds," Derek explained

"What about the ballistics report and the coroner's report? Surely those haven't come back yet," Julia questioned.

"Well they haven't come back yet,"

"So then how can you prove _actus reus_?" Julia pointed out.

"Somebody's been reading a legal dictionary I take it," the inspector said sarcastically.

"Actually before I studied theatre I did a little bit of study in law," Julia replied proudly.

"Doesn't really matter anyway, Karen Cartwright, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Derek Wills," Sturgess said beckoning Karen to come towards him which she did.

"Karen, I'll make sure that you get out," Julia said as the inspector put the handcuffs on Karen's wrists. Karen had a fair idea as to what she was doing because the inspector hadn't read out the Miranda Rights which, she knew for a fact, was unconstitutional. She prepared herself for the paparazzi waiting outside for a story. She was led through the front doors of the hospital and into the back of a police car with bulbs flashing in her face.


	47. The Release

A/N - I know it's been awhile since I updated but I do have a very valid reason: Technical difficulties and all because my brother has decided that my laptop is his and so he should be allowed to download games such as Roblox, whatever the hell that is, onto it and so that screwed up the laptop so I've had to spend what felt like forever trying to fix it.

Karen had spent an age and a half, or what felt like one, in the interrogation room being spoken by several police officers when Officer Taylor walked into the room "I'll take it from here John," he told the young officer who had been sat talking to Karen for the previous hour, "Miss Cartwright, we have to stop meeting under circumstances involving the almost death of you or Derek," he said jokingly making Karen shift in her seat uncomfortably.

"Why on earth am I here? You know that I wouldn't try and kill Derek, I love him for god's sake," she cried before resting her face in her hands on the table.

"I know that and to be honest none of the evidence adds up, the M.E.'s report states that Annabelle had to have committed suicide, the gun was registered to Annabelle, all of the witnesses are saying that you were on the ground when Derek was shot, none of the evidence points to you but Inspector Sturgess is adamant that you're guilty," Officer Taylor explained.

"Why the hell is that the case? If the evidence adds up to Annabelle being guilty, then why am I being interrogated as though I'm a suspect?" Karen demanded.

"I don't know why,"

"I'll… I'll do anything, get me a lie detector test, I just want to be out of here so I can be with Derek," she exclaimed before bursting into tears, she knew for a fact that she was an emotional wreck but she didn't care.

"Okay, I'll organise that, is there anything else I can get you? A coffee maybe?" Officer Taylor suggested.

"Sure, a coffee would be nice thanks Officer Taylor," she replied politely.

"Please, we've known each other long enough for you to call me Jim," he told her kindly.

"Thanks Jim," Karen waited for another fifteen minutes before Jim came back into the interrogation room with a man, whom she assumed to be the polygraph examiner, a thing that looked like it would take her blood pressure with a needle attached and a coffee. He handed her the coffee before making the necessary introductions.

The armband was wrapped around Karen's arm and the test began "Are you Karen Natalie Cartwright?"

"Yes," The needle recorded the response on a sheet of paper.

"Were you born in Des Moines, Iowa?"

"Yes," the response was recorded again.

"Are you an actress on Broadway?"

"Yes," Karen replied calmly

"Are you currently living with Derek Wills?"

"Yes," Karen's calmness continued through this answer as well.

"Did you know Annabelle Robertson?"

"Yes,"

"Did you kill Annabelle Robertson?"

"No," Karen continued to answer calmly even though she knew what the next question would be.

"Did you attempt to kill Derek Wills?"

"No,"

Once all of the questions were answered the polygraph examiner looked over the results and declared "She's not lying, you can let her go,"

Karen breathed a sigh of relief and began to cry, knowing that she had to step outside and deal with the paparazzi who she'd yelled at just a day before for accusing her of the attempted murder of her husband and now the police had tried to arrest her for it. She dried her eyes, took in deep breath and walked out of the room which Jim had left open.

"Where do you think you're going Miss Cartwright?" came the voice of Inspector Sturgess.

"I've been allowed to leave," Karen said with a very fake smile.

"Says who?" he asked.

"Officer Jim Taylor, I've passed a polygraph test, I've answered any and all questions put to me, you can't keep me here," she told him, a degree of annoyance in her voice.

"Actually I can, you see I put you under arrest, you're officially in police custody," he replied, sounding all-knowing.

"Actually you can't for several reasons. 1. I've already been let out by a police officer 2. You don't have any evidence to keep me here and 3. You didn't read me the Miranda Rights when you arrested me," she replied in an equally all-knowing tone.

"I'm sorry?"

"I took U.S. Government as a subject in high school, you can't hold me because it's unconstitutional. By not reading me the Miranda Rights you broke both the Fifth and the Sixth Amendment, if you do try and hold me I will gladly speak to your superior," she said, her inner bitch was beginning to come out "Now if you have nothing more to say to me I will be leaving now," she continued before spinning on her heel and walking out of the police station. When she walked outside she was hounded by paparazzi but was immediately met by a cab which happened to contain Jessica, Dennis, Bobby and Ana.

"Iowa sweetie, Julia called and told us to meet you here I can't believe they arrested you!" Jessica exclaimed as she hugged her friend.

"Yeah," Karen said, her strength now having left her.

On instinct Ana hugged her friend and Bobby told the driver to head to NYU Medical Centre, when they arrived the group stepped out of the now cramped taxi, paid the driver and walked into the hospital. Karen half ran to Derek's room and smiled when she finally saw his face. He was fast asleep and had a small smile on his face. Julia was sat in the same chair as she'd been sat in when Karen had been dragged away beforehand. "How is he?" Karen asked, panting slightly from the run she'd just taken.

Julia snapped up before saying "He fell asleep about an hour ago, he's been really worried about you but other than that he's been fine,"

"Thanks for keeping an eye on him," Karen told the older woman who she now considered to be her friend.

"It's fine, how did it go with the police?" Julia asked suddenly remembering why Karen hadn't been in the hospital room.

"Well, I answered every question they had several times over, then I took a polygraph so that they knew I wasn't lying after which I was let go but that stupid bloody inspector decided in his infinite wisdom that he could hold him but I reminded him that he didn't read me the Miranda Rights so he couldn't hold me. I was told by one of the officers that there isn't actually any evidence for them to charge me so there was no point in calling me in as a suspect," Karen explained.

"Karen? Is that you?" Derek said sleepily in his gruff British accent.

"Yeah, I'm here babe," Karen said with a delicate smile as she looked down at him with an adoring look in her eyes.

"Right well I'm going to get going, Karen do you wanna give me the key to your apartment and then I can grab you some clothes?" Julia said, feeling slightly awkward at being in the room for what was quite possibly going to be a romantic moment for her two friends.

"Yeah, my keys are in my purse on the chair over there," Karen said absentmindedly without looking away from Derek's face.

Once Julia had left, Karen climbed into the bed and lay down next to Derek "I'm thinking of quitting Gatsby," she whispered.

"What? Why?" he asked completely shocked.

"Because I'm beginning to feel like my being in Gatsby, playing Daisy, is cursed, I mean look at the facts, each time we've opened something's happened. First opening night, I got stabbed and second opening night you got shot!" she explained, her voice rising as she got to the climax of her point "Plus, Julia spoke to me about this really amazing idea for the second anniversary of Kyle's death and I want to be as involved as possible with it and if I'm planning the wedding as well, then my performance won't be as good and my understudy is completely trained to take the role whenever, it's just a case of explaining to Eileen and she said that if I wanted to leave then she'd understand, so I don't see why not," Karen continued.

"You're sure that's what you want?" Derek asked, knowing full well that when Karen set her mind to something she rarely ever gave up.

"Yes," she said, returning to her normally soft tone.

"So what's this idea of Julia's for the second anniversary?" Derek asked, now completely intrigued and so they stayed like that for a while with Karen explaining the truly genius idea of Julia's. Eventually, they both fell asleep in each other's arms and dreamed of what the future may hold for them, what they hoped would be a lifetime of delights.


	48. The Announcement

_**A/N - Sorry this chapter took such a long while to be uploaded, my muse is being a complete asshole so I was uninspired for a while and then the moment I managed to get inspired I discovered that my laptop needed reformatting so I had to work on this on Google Drive from my phone while that was being fixed but anyway here is chapter 48.**_

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"Derek!" Karen screamed in her sleep. The couple had been home for about two weeks since the shooting and Karen was starting to get night terrors, almost as if being out of the safe, secure hospital had made her feel the fear that Annabelle had instilled in her.

"Karen, wake up, it's just a dream," Derek told his wife as he tried to shake her awake.

Karen's eyelids snapped open and she was forced to try and catch her breath "I'm okay, I'm okay it was just a nightmare," she told herself as she tried to convince herself that the nightmare she'd just had was exactly that… a nightmare.

"D'you want to talk about it?" Derek asked her after a couple of minutes.

"No, just hold me," she told him and he wrapped his arms around her as she burrowed her face into his chest "It was the shooting, the nightmare was about the shooting and in the nightmare you died," she said before bursting into tears.

Derek ran his hand through her soft brown curls "I promise you I'm not going anywhere, if it ever comes down to that ever again I promise you I will fight," he told her in a soft tone.

"I know, I'm sorry it's probably just the hormones," she said through her tears.

"Yeah..." Derek said before realisation hit him "Wait a second what do you mean by hormones?"

"I'm... I'm pregnant Derek," Karen announced as calmly as she possibly could.

"You are?" Derek asked hopefully, his eyes just lighting up at the thought of being a father.

Karen giggled slightly as she said "Yes,"

And after a lengthy discussion about all things baby, both Derek and Karen went to sleep, happy and content at least for a small while.

* * *

The next day, Karen was at Julia's apartment discussing the tribute concert for Kyle.

"So I was thinking we could end the concert with the Goodbye Song but then I thought that might feel a little bit morbid," Julia said to Karen as they sat in Julia's apartment talking about the memorial concert for Kyle.

"Mmhmm," Karen said distractedly as she beamed her radiant smile.

"Karen, are you okay? You seem really distracted," Julia asked concernedly.

"Yeah, umm let's scrap The Goodbye Song, you're right it does seem a bit morbid, what about Thank You For The Music from Mamma Mia, we could do it as a number with Ivy, Ana, Tom and I at the end, plus I remember Kyle telling me that Mamma Mia was one of his favourite musicals," Karen said, suddenly she began to feel the familiar sensation of vomit beginning to rise in her throat as she stood up. She immediately put her hand out to signal that she needed a minute and ran off to the bathroom. Once she got to the bathroom, she pulled her hair back and began to throw up whatever food she had in her stomach into the small toilet bowl.

"Karen, are you okay?" Julia asked from behind the shut door.

"Karen wiped her mouth, and called out to Julia " Yeah, I'll just be a minute,"

Karen quickly left the bathroom and walked into Julia's tiny living room "I called Derek," Julia announced.

"What? There's no need," Karen told the writer.

"Sweetie, you've been distracted for the majority of the afternoon and you just threw up. Don't pretend that you didn't because I was able to hear," Julia explained.

"I'm fine, it's just... just..." Karen trailed off as she tried to worm her way out of making the announcement to Julia at that very moment.

"Oh my god, you're not... are you?" Julia stuttered through the question, unsure of what Karen's response would be. The signs were all there or at least looked to be there to the eyes of the redheaded writer.

"No... Yes," Karen said, she had wanted to wait to make the announcement until she was at least three months along because of the fear that she might lose this baby as well but Julia had figured it out without much evidence.

"Oh my god!" Julia shrieked with excitement "How far along are you? Have you seen a doctor yet? Does Derek know yet?" the questions were fired at such a rapid pace that Karen had to stop and think for a second before answering.

"About eight weeks, no I've not seen a doctor I'm going to see one tomorrow and yes Derek does know, I told him the other night," Karen told her friend and was immediately ambushed by a hug from Julia "We weren't going to tell anyone until I was three months along because of the miscarriage but this little one's a survivor already," Karen said with a small smile.

"Oh Karen, it'll all be fine," Julia reassured, picking up on her friend's fear.

"So are there anymore offers from performers for the concert?" Karen asked trying to change the subject in case she jinxed her baby's chances.

"Well, Alexis Wilson has offered to perform," Julia mentioned and looking at Karen she saw serious disgust on the younger woman's face "She's from Iowa as well and she's about the same age as you," Julia went on.

"Yeah, she kind of hates me, ever since high school, jealous cow that she is," Karen said with disgust.

"What do you mean?" Julia asked, relatively confused.

"Remember how on my resume it sadi that I was Maria in The Sound of Music?" Karen asked, Julia nodded in recognition "Well, I beat out Alexis for the part and ever since then, throughout the entirety of high school, she made my life a liviing hell. She spread a rumour around the school saying that I only got the part because I slept with the student directing it, which as you know I'd never do then she told Amy that I was screwing Harry behind her back which Amy thankfully didn't believe. Then there was the party we all went to where she spiked my drink with something I was allergic to and I ended up in hospital for about three days after that," Karen said before breaking down in tears, partly because of what she was reliving and partly because of the pregnancy hormones. "I'm fine, it's just the hormones," she said quietly, more for her own reassurance than for Julia's.

"Okay so I'll call her agent and tell her that we've already got loads of offers then," Julia said kindly "Kristen Chenoweth says she wants to sing something from Wicked and I remember Kyle telling me that he loved Popular so I thought that would be a good one," she continued.

"Yeah, awesome umm how about Ivy and I do a mash-up of 20th Century Fox Mambo, Let's Be Bad and Public Relations?" Karen suggested.

"Are you sure you'll be able to do it?" Julia asked, suddenly concerned.

"I mean it depends on what the doctor says but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do it," the younger woman said "I was talking to Michael Swift the other day, he said he'd be interested in performing," she announced, desperately trying to hide that she had a hidden agenda.

He did?" Julia inquired, unable to hide her excitement "Did he mention me?" Julia said before changing her tone to something more casual "I mean what did he say?"

"Julia, you don't have to pretend to act casual around me, I know that you and Michael had a thing during Bombshell and I happen to know that the moment you were mentioned, he lit up like a firework. He and his wife got divorced and he has shared custody of his son, he's just finished up his run as Tony in that revival of West Side Story and when I mentioned that you were involved in this, he practically jumped across the table to say yes," the brunette explained and watched as her friend's face lit up with glee "Oh my god, an idea just hit me!"

"And that idea is?"

"What about a Beatles tribute? Kyle was always such a big fan and his birthday was the same day as Paul McCartney's." Karen explained.

"Would we be able to get the rights?" Julia asked, concerned that the possibility might be a bit of a stretch.

"I don't see why not. We could have A Hard Day's Night, All You Need Is Love, Blackbird, Hold Me Tight, Oh! Darling and Strawberry Fields Forever," Karen said getting excited.

"Okay, I think that'll do it for today, how about I drive you home?" Julia suggested.

"Yeah, just before we do, I was wondering if you could help me with something,"

"Sure, what can I do?"

"Well, Derek's birthday's in January and I was wondering if you and Tom would help me write a song for him. I didn't really do much for him for his birthday last year because of his mum and everything and I just want to do something really special for him and I completely understand if you don't want to help but…" Karen trailed off.

"Of course I'll help you with that and don't worry I think Tom can be persuaded," Julia explained and Karen breathed a sigh of relief.


	49. The Leak

**_A/N - This chapter comes a little bit later than I expected because of masses of homework I was given for during the holidays, now one part of that is over, or almost over, I've had time to write and upload this chapter._**

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The day after Karen told Julia about the pregnancy she and Derek went to see a doctor and Karen was, once again, freaking out "What if it's a hysterical pregnancy? Or… or I've miscarried again? What if it's ectopic?" she asked in an insane panic, her foot tapping an unknown rhythm as they sat in the waiting room of the doctor's surgery.

"Love, it'll be fine," Derek assured, for his own benefit as much as it was for Karen's.

"We don't know that, anything could hap-,"

"Karen Cartwright?" a person, who looked like a doctor called out. The pair stood up and followed the woman into a room where the pair sat down in chairs opposite a desk "I'm Doctor Goulding,"

"Karen and this is my hus-fiance Derek," Karen said, remembering just in time that only she, Derek, Ivy, Sarah and James knew about the wedding.

"How far along do you think you are?"

"Best estimate would be about eight weeks,"

"And have you started experiencing any morning sickness yet?"

"A little,"

"Any worries?"

"Umm, well I got pregnant about three or four months ago and I was… I was…" Karen trailed off unable to say the words.

"There was an accident and we suffered a miscarriage," Derek finished, unable to go into full detail of the incident for fear that Karen may begin to stress over the incident.

"Anything else?"

"Umm… I'm on iron tablets at the moment," Karen said nervously.

"Okay, right well if you could pop up onto here," Doctor Goulding said pointing to a bed, "Then we can do a quick ultrasound," she continued. Karen did as she was told, keeping a firm grip on Derek's hand as she did so "Now this might be a bit cold," she continued as she began to squirt a gel onto Karen's still flat stomach. Tears began to fall from Karen's eyes as she waited for the ultrasound image to appear on the screen. "And there's your baby," Doctor Goulding said pointing to a small blob on the screen.

Karen wiped her eyes as she looked at the screen, her tears changing from those of fear to those of joy "Our little miracle," she said looking up at Derek. He looked into her eyes, desperately trying not to cry although he was already misty eyed "Derek, are you crying?"

"No, I've just got something in my eye," he lied in his gruff british accent "Maybe just a little,"

"Aww babe,"

"Umm, sorry to interrupt but how many copies of the photos do you want?" Doctor Goulding asked.

"Umm, four," Karen answered.

They left the doctors surgery, the happiest they'd ever been when Karen's phone rang. She looked at the screen and upon noticing that it was Julia on the other line she picked up "Hey Julia,"

"Karen, how did it go?" Julia asked excitedly.

"Amazing!" Karen said, still on a sort of high of elation from seeing her baby.

"Who is it?" Derek asked.

"It's Julia, by the way Jules I set up a 'business meeting' for you and Michael at that cafe down the road from your apartment at three, he thinks I'm coming too but I'm sure you can make my excuses," Karen told her friend and upon hearing the sounds of a protest from the writer and seeing the raised eyebrow look that Derek was giving her, she said "Derek is giving me the weirdest look right now, look I'm gonna get going okay? We're just getting in the cab but I'll call you later,"

"Okay, send Derek my love," Julia sighed before Karen hung up, knowing that there was no way she would get out of it.

"Since when do you call Julia Jules? And why on earth are you trying to set her up with Michael Swift?" Derek asked, an element of confusion in his voice.

"Because I decided to and that's on both counts, since when is wanting to play matchmaker for my friends a crime?" Karen answered back cheekily making Derek laugh.

"No," he said through his laughter but upon seeing the reproachful look on her face he decided to change the subject "When shall we tell everyone?" he asked once his fit of laughter had ended.

"About Swifton or about the baby? Because I don't think telling everyone that Julia and Michael are a couple before they've even gotten together is a very good idea," Karen asked

"About what?" Derek asked, confused.

"I've given Michael and Julia a couple name, seeing as she and Ana gave us the nickname Cartwills," she told him.

"Ah, right I was talking about telling everyone about the baby, by the way," he said, trying desperately not to laugh.

"How about we tell everyone at Christmas, that way we're sure about…" she trailed off going quietly, not wanting to mention the miscarriage lest she jinx this pregnancy.

* * *

A few days later, first thing in the morning, Karen received a phone call from Elizabeth "Hello?" she said groggily, still half-asleep from having woken up early craving something chocolatey.

"Karen, sweetie, don't worry your dad's fine, I'm just calling because I just saw Page Six," Elizabeth told her adoptive daughter.

"What do you mean you just saw Page Six?" Karen asked slightly confused.

"Well, it would appear that Page Six is saying that you're pregnant, is that true honey? I just wanted to check after the whole thing with Rebecca Duvall the other year,"

"Oh my god, mum this isn't how Derek and I wanted to tell you, we wanted to wait until Christmas and we were sure everything was okay b-but…" she trailed off bursting into tears and blaming the pregnancy hormones for her over-emotional state.

"Sweetie it's okay," her mother reassured "You know sometimes these things happen and we can't control them, just know that your father and I are happy for you and Derek,"

"O-okay," Karen said and upon hearing the home phone ring, she felt compelled to hang up on her adoptive mother "Look mum, the other phone's ringing, I'll call you later okay?" Karen said, her voice almost a whisper. She went to the phone and picked up "Hello, Karen Cartwright speaking,"

"Aah, just the person I was looking to speak to," came Michael Riedel's voice.

'Damn, damn, damn, we should have gotten the number changed months ago,' she thought to herself before saying in a polite yet bitchy voice "Michael, what can I do for you?"

"Well there's this lovely story on Page Six about you and Derek and I want to get confirmation or denial of the information,"

"Why on earth would you want confirmation or denial? You'll just print it anyway and since when did the Post start printing idle gossip?" she said continuing her bitch tone from before.

"I'll take that as a no comment then," he said.

"Yes, take it as exactly that!" Karen shouted before hanging up.

"Karen, love what is it?" she heard as Derek came down the stairs.

"Page Six heard something about the pregnancy and printed and so not only do my parents know about it, but Michael Riedel is printing a story in the Post, next thing we know Variety and the New York Times will be printing it! Then I'll have to explain to everyone that…" she trailed off once again bursting into tears.

She felt Derek wrap his arms around her as he told her "It'll all be okay, it'll all be okay,"

"How did this happen? How did Page Six find out? There was no-one, no paparazzi stood outside that doctor's office, none whatsoever," she said through her tears.

"I don't know love, I don't know," he said before having to pick up the phone "Hello?"

"Hey, Derek, pray tell when were you planning on mentioning that your wife is pregnant?" Sarah's voice came through the phone, sounding slightly bitter.

Hi Sarah," he said, glad that it was his sister-in-law on the other line and not some journalist after a comment "In answer to your question the plan was Christmas but somehow Page Six got a hold of the news and now it's spreading like wildfire," he said sounding equally as bitter.

"Oh," Sarah said, taken aback by the fact that all hadn't gone according to plan "Right well if that's the case then I'll deal with Grace for you, she'd been on at me for the last couple of hours,"

"Ah yes, how is my little sister?" he asked.

"Is that Derek? Swear to god he had better have a bloody good reason for telling the press about having a kid before telling his FAMILY!" he heard Grace shout before he knew it Sarah had handed the phone to Grace and she was shouting at him again "What the HELL, Derek? Is that REALLY the kind of man you are? Or was this all Karen's idea? SWEAR TO GOD DEREK YOU HAD BETTER START EXPLAINING, LIKE RIGHT NOW!"

"Grace calm down. We were planning on telling everyone at Christmas but somehow, lord knows how, Page Six found out and published it, without asking for a comment, neither of us have actually read the article, we only found out there was one when Karen's parents mum rang and asked for confirmation," he explained, looking down at Karen, who was still wrapped in his now one-armed hug.

"Oh, okay well I'll let you get on with whatever it is that you guys need to be getting on with then," Grace said before hanging up.

"So I'm guessing you're sister isn't too happy with us?" Karen said looking up at her husband.

"She'll get over it," he said with a sigh when the phone rang again. He picked up and yelled " NO BLOODY COMMENT!"

"Fine, I was just wondering how Karen was dealing with your personal lives being plastered all over Page Six but if that's the attitude you're going to give me Derek then I'll hang up," Julia said feigning hurt.

"Sorry Julia, it's been a little bit mental this morning," he said.

"Is that Julia? Give me the phone Derek!" Karen demanded, snatching the phone from him before he even had a chance to answer "Hi Julia, how did that 'meeting' with Michael go?" she asked, sounding completely casual for the first time that morning.

"Wow, you cut right to the chase, Derek must be rubbing off on you, the 'meeting' went fine in fact he asked me out again tonight," the writer answered.

"YAY!" Karen shouted happily "What are you going to wear? How will you do your hair? How will you accessorise the outfit? What kind of make-up will you do? Oh my god! That all depends on where he's taking you, did he say? What did he say yesterday?" Karen asked, sounding like an excited teenager whose friend was going on her first date.

"Karen, calm down, no he didn't say where he was taking but I am determined to treat it like a business dinner, unless his behaviour signals otherwise," Julia said firmly.

"Aww, but there's no fun in that," she complained, with a childish pout that she wished Julia could see.

"Karen stop trying to matchmake, if Julia and Michael do get together then they will do it in their own time not yours," Derek shouted from the kitchen.

"Once again, I say this but there's not fun in that," she whined, biting her lip at the end knowing that he couldn't resist giving in if she did that.

"By the way, Michael does want to perform at the concert, I think he mentioned something about singing something from West Side Story and something from that Bruno Mars show he did but I wasn't really concentrating," Julia said

"Because you were too busy staring into his eyes and trying to figure out what it would look like if the two of you had kids together? By the way I think that they would look very cute," Karen said "I'm already envisioning your wedding to him," she continued excitedly.

"I'm guessing that you're okay with your personal life being flashed in front of the world then," Julia said equally as casual as Karen had been before.

"Oh I was annoyed about it but then we started talking about your date with Michael and now I'm happy again, I wonder who I could match Ana or Ivy with, do you know how Tom and Sam are doing? I haven't spoken to either of them since little Natalie was born," Karen rambled quite happily.

"Okay well I'll let you go, I've got to get ready for my business meeting with Michael," Julia announced.

"Ha! I was right you do want to get together with him, Bobby owes me a twenty!" Karen announced quite happy that her matchmaking skills were up to par.


End file.
